Married ladies- how did you catch and keep your hubby? I need help!

[poshsinglemum]

Hi everyone.
As the name suggests I am a single mum. I don't want to get on the dating scene for another couple of years or so but need advice for when I do. I have never been married and I've always gone for the wrong men. I am totally clueless about relationships and have had several very destructive relationships and lots of flings. DD's dad turned out to be nuts and due to complicated circumstances is now abroad and can't see dd due to passport complications. I have given up for now and resigned myself to possible permanent singledom. I'm trying not to be bitter about men and love.
I am generally very happy and now I have dd I no longer feel desperate for a bloke.(I think that desperation was a very real problem of mine and attracted the wronguns.) However, I feel like I'm missing out. So just for fun- how did you meet, keep and marry your dh? Has anyone done ''the rules''? I tried but threw the book away as it did my head in or is it really better to let the man chase you? Has anyone done the chasing and caught the man of their dreams? Would be really interested to know how people met their partners and how they kept them interested. It just seems like so much hard work.

cringe... should have been sights not sites

I met my DH went I went to work as a temp at his firm. I was on a working holiday from Australia came over to see my brother who was living over here. We started going out got engaged and married within 6 months of course there were some people who thought it was because I was pregnant. DD arrived 4 years and 5 days later, a rather long pregnancy? We are celebrating our Ruby Wedding anniversary in September this year, so must have got things right. I feel that we get on well as we have different interests and don't live in each pockets. I have friends who would not do anything unless they asked their DH first. My DH always says he trusts my judgement on things etc.

Met at a barbecue unexpectedly and despite an attraction we did not get together. He got my number from a friend of a friend, and rang me much later, after which we did get together.

I was happy with myself, relaxed and not looking for a relationship. I was busy with work and socially, and had just got a good job, was thinking about going traveling (I was 24 at the time).

The previous year I'd had a bad relationship and friendship betrayal, which made me rocky and unpredictable... bad relationships would've been easy to come by at this point, as I was not happy.

God it was so long ago, it's probably irrelevant given your circumstances - we met when we were 21, through a mutual uni friend. We got together at a party, the next week I moved to a different city, then by chance six months later our mutual friend rang me and told me that a friend of his had moved to the city I had moved to, would it be ok if he gave him my phone number. I thought I wonder if it's so-and-so (the one I'd got together with) and sure enough it was him.

Three days before I had dumped the guy I was seeing (long distance, he had embarrassed me at a party and I wanted out), and the DH-to-be rang me and asked me out. The rest as they say is history!

I had to do a bit of chasing, I was sick the night he asked me to go out for the first time, and I had to ring back and him out (he thought I was giving him the cold shoulder), and I asked him to marry me (on Feb 29 the next year).

We've been married 12 years now....

All the best,

Reading the myriad of stories above, I don't think you can 'catch and keep' a hubby.
I think he just needs to fall into your lap.
However, I do think you have to get out there and manipulate yourself into position under the scaffolding in order to catch him. By this of course I mean develop an active social life by doing things you are truly interested in and trying some new ones.

And of course I don't mean your should marry a scaffolder, although they do tend to have very nice upper bodies.

lol. When my daughter is older and I am through the baby stage I hope o get out there and persue interests other than baby stuff. i'm just too busy enjoying this georgeous stage atm. I would never date with dd this young. I don't want her to be one of those children who sees me with a different man every week.