I'm in the depths, please help. Can I/we recover from his second affair?

[MerryPheasantPlucker]

Says it all in the title really. I'm gutted, really feel like my insides have been ripped out. What the hell do I do now?

Oh, Merry, so to read you're having a bad day.
Hope we're helping a bit, at least to vent it all out...

So sorry you've had a bad day. Can you get some 'me time' with rubbish telly/a silly book? It's amazing how the distraction can improve things.

hope you are feeling stronger today

MPP, how are things going?

hi, bit awkward as he's off wrk at mo, will post update this evening. x

Hi MPP

Just wanted to get in touch with you as I identify so much with your story. My H has been unfaithful to me twice (that I know of!) and we are still together. I wish I could say that I am happy and that we sorted it all out out I cant.

We did the whole relate thing and after a few sessions where I felt wonderfully empowered by speaking my mind for once and feeling like I was in control we stayed together.

However I now feel like it was a wrong thing to do. I wish that I had benn 1000% more drastic whilst the emotions were high and had chucked him out and started fresh. The trust is never going to be there and the resentment will always be bubbling. Any small critisism makes my blood boil as I think "how dare you, when I am still bloody well here cooking and keepng house for you?!!"

I wish that I had found this site back then and found the strength that can be gained from all this wonderful advice.

I think that the thought of being on my own scared the crap out of me and that is why I am still here. But I am regretting not making a run from it as a year down the line I can see that things are never really going to change. He might, if miracles happen, change but your feelings of mis-trust and hurt will never go. You can forgive but you will never forget and it will eat away at you.

Your situ is scary and sad but you need to be true to yourself. It is your life too - dont forget.

best of luck x

I have two daughters.

And I can't imagine either of them wanting to stay with someone who did this to them not once but twice, tbh.

Of course, I'd support them, but deep inside, I'd want to bump that prick off, tbh.

Because my girls are so better than that shit.

Don't you think you are, too?

And don't say, Oh it's complicated and stuff like that because I've read the whole thread.

No, it's not really.

He lies.

He'll keep doing it.

Agree with expat.

A second affair? One affair some people can work through - but to do it again to you?

I have a DD and when is is older i would find it very hard if she was treated by a man like you have been.

You deserve someone much better than your partner . After all we only live once and you will end up regretting the time of your life you have wasted on someone who treats you like this.

My ex-partner didn't cheat on me but i was domestically abused for most of the time i was with him - it took me 8 years to see the light - it's still going on now even though we have split. Get out of the relationship, get yourself together then find someone who will treat you right.