Am I odd to have joint bank accounts with DH?

[TheSweetLittleBunny]

We have always had joint accounts, any money earned by either of us goes in the account(s)and all direct debit, bills, shopping etc comes out of it. We freely take money out of each other's purse/wallet, pockets etc.
It's just that I was having a conversation with someone who said "it's your money and you can do what you want with it". And I found it a surprising stance to take, surely it is "our" money not "mine" or "his". This person equally thought I was crazy to have a joint account with dh

We are exactly the same as you. Our money.

We have always had a joint account all bills go out of it and if we want to buy something over £10 as a treat we ask the other. I know people in marriages of over 10yrs that borrow money from each other and have seperate accounts and i think thats odd tbh.

Joint account - It's our money, our bills.
Our money pays for our shopping to put food in our mouths and clothes on our bodies.

I do also have a seperate account for a business sideline, so that money is seperate. Any profits go towards our holiday. Our holiday!

We have a joint account that all the bills etc are paid out of, we also have our own accounts that we have equalish amounts to spend from, just makes it a bit easier for us to not overspend bill money etc!
I'd not like to have only one joint account because what if I checked the balance and then spent x amount at the same time as DH did the same and then we'd go overdrawn! I'd hate to have to ask every time I spent money so our own accounts are handy to have!

So it's not just me then. I know of someone who borrows money from her husband (who expects it to be paid back to ).
People say to me "What if you want to buy a present for each other - then you'll know how much it costs...". But so what if you know - surely it's the thought that counts, and anyway if we want to keep it that secret, we could always pay in cash surely.

All our accounts are joint.....savings etc. Only ISAs are in separate names (for obvious reasons) but all credit cards and bank accounts are joint.....I thought that was normal.

2k9kids we tend to know each other's spending habits as I am sure you do, so if DH is going out then we know that he is likely to be spending x amount, which means that I won't go out and splurge somewhere at the same time, and most of the time when we are not at work - we are likely to be together anyway.

I've never understood this his money my money approach that some people have.

We've always had joint everything. I'm a sahm now so dh earns the money, but it's still all in the joint bank account.

And we don't ask each other if it's ok to spend money - we're both adults after all.

And dh opens all the post - most of it is bills anyway and I don't have anything to hide.

We have a joint account and always have done. I got my own account when I started working for a bank because I had to. Our child benefit still goes into that account but everything else is done in the joint account. I have a couple of friends who get an 'allowance' which I really couldn't deal with. I'm sure it works well for some but I would feel like a child.

Same as OP apart from the freely taking from pockets or purses. We do take but we do ask each other if it's ok. There's nothing more frustrating than opening your purse and finding that you've got no cash because your other half has helped themselves and not mentioned it.

[been there, done that emoticon]

If I've got it, he can have it, but I like to know so that I don't find myself caught short cash wise.

Everything is joint with us.

It's actually the law in France unless you take out a specific contract when you marry.

Everything earnt from the date of marriage on is joint.

I can't imagine any other way, although it's true for presents it can be annoying - but only because DH doesn't buy me any so it's no good buying myself something - as a pp said - it's the thought that counts so I don't want to buy a present for myself with my own money iyswim.

Haha saying that about an allowence, FIL's ex wife once asked me what allowence dp gave me i gave her this look - and then lauged and walked off, she never aked again.

How demeaning to have to be given an allowence by your partner, its like them giving you pocket money!

WE have a combination that works for us. We have a joint account for all the bills, mortgage etc, we then each have our own accounts as well as a joint savings account.

Yes we 'borrow' money off each other,, but we do tend to pay it back. I work full time nd earn twice what dh's earns, so this way it is fair.

We have always had joint accounts. Can't imagine how it could work any other way TBH.

When I was doing my nurse training DH earned alot more that me and now I only work part-time so its never been balanced. I can't imagine sorting out how much each of us should contribute if we had seperate accounts.

We have a joint account and I have my own account (which is actually my wages that is used to save for our holidays).

If either of us needed money though, I would ask before I go in his wallet and vice versa him in my purse, just for the very fact that he/me may have drawn money out for somehting specific like dinner money etc, in fact DH would not go in my handbag at all.

I'm so glad I am "normal" . The woman I was speaking to is someone I work with. Having just gone back to work after 5 years of being a SAHM, I felt that she was judging me as a really dependant, old fashioned "little woman" type. Really, it's the way she said it.
BTW DH and I do tell each other when we have pinched money out of each other's pockets/purses etc because I agree, with and share your frustration at opening empty purse.

We have a household account for bills, mortgage, food, nursery fees etc into which we put a prorated amount of our income (so that DH who earns less than I do pays less of the total amount needed to pay everything). What we both have left in our accounts after that is ours.

I prefer it this way as DH can spend his money as he likes without me getting annoyed about him frittering

Well, we have seperate accounts, no reason, just habbit. But we each pay an equal amount on bills etc. Our money is Ours and we share the costs of nearly everything.

I have several friends who have this weird his/hers approach to money.

One couple I know have been together for over 15 years and she still talks about borrowing money from him. We had a christmas get together and she wouldn't come because she still "owed" him some money and didn't feel it was right to spend money on herself until she had paid him back - odd!!!!

joint account, and everythgin paid from that. i have an account in my name though, which i use only for ebay/paypal purchases, its sneaky as dh will only question paypal purchases so i take cash out and pay into that account and hes none the wiser.
he just doesn;t get ebay and thinks i should just buy in a normal shop.

We don't. I earn more than DH and he moved into my flat so all bills etc were already in my name/from my bank account. I now get tax credits etc into my account. All bills still come out of my account and DH's wages go towards things like paying off credit cards, saving for trips, etc. And of course his spending money - as mine comes out of my account. We both know roughly what each other has in their accounts and we have similar spending habits (spending on ourselves i mean) so it works fine. If he runs out I'll give him cash for petrol/food, and likewise. We don't 'lend' each other money unless we are taking from a pot which is for something specific, then we put back. He puts petrol in my car, I do the same...I do the food shop but he buys bits. That sort of thing.

Same as op -our money is family money, no his or hers nonsense for us. I appreciate that our system will not work for all, but is simple and flexible for us. Would hate to have to split stuff up or pay back etc, time wasting for me.
Simple courtesy to ask/inform each other if we take money from each other?s wallets. Not to ask permission as such, just to let them know and check they didn?t need the cash for something that day.
My sister does it totally the other way round. Given cash on the Monday to cover household bills, writes all expenses down, has a detailed budget etc. At christmas she spent about ten pounds more on DD1 than her baby (baby not needing so many things) so put the exact difference into babie?s savings account! I was flabbergasted. Could see why she wants to treat them identically, but bit extreme for me. I was the opposite. No idea of exact amount spent - my kids get what they need or we think they deserve, no balancing act done.

I am not judging you Crunchie but I don't understand when you talk about "fairness".
DH earns three times as much as I do and for five years we lived off his salary, which also paid for me to do a course at university. But I would never dream of (and he would never ask me to) pay it back. We each contribute different things to the relationship and whilst money is the only measureable thing, other things also add value to a relationship.

Even if I earned more than DH I think I would still have that stance.