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Relationships

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Original poster

Am I odd to have joint bank accounts with DH?

91 replies

TheSweetLittleBunny · 05/01/2009 09:00

We have always had joint accounts, any money earned by either of us goes in the account(s)and all direct debit, bills, shopping etc comes out of it. We freely take money out of each other's purse/wallet, pockets etc.
It's just that I was having a conversation with someone who said "it's your money and you can do what you want with it". And I found it a surprising stance to take, surely it is "our" money not "mine" or "his". This person equally thought I was crazy to have a joint account with dh

OP posts:

sarah293 · 05/01/2009 20:01

This reply has been deleted

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Wheelybug · 05/01/2009 20:08

Joint accounts here - have done since we were married and pretty much before we were married and living together. Makes life easier in my opinion (and leads to less arguments) but everyone manages things differently.

Apart from our main savings account that is which I unintentionally (honest guv) managed to put solely in my name when I moved some money around.

unfitmother · 05/01/2009 20:11

Everything was joint from day 1 of our marriage. When I stayed at home and worked part-time it was still 'our' money. Now I'm working full-time and earning more than him it's still 'our' money.
Isn't that what marriage is about, an equal partnership?

Original poster

TheSweetLittleBunny · 05/01/2009 20:14

Sprogger I wasn't attacking you, I was actually supporting you. Can't understand why you would feel I was. My comment about people not trusting each other... was general and not directed at you at all. Nuance of what I was trying to say appears to have been lost.

OP posts:

Original poster

TheSweetLittleBunny · 05/01/2009 20:15

OP posts:

ElfOnTheTopShelf · 05/01/2009 20:20

2 joint accounts
He has 1 separate account (personal) and I have 3 separate accounts (personal)

stillenacht · 05/01/2009 20:23

we have separate accounts - this is sooo wierd as i was saying tonight to DH should we have a joint account and he said (I have had fraud on my account 3 times and had to stop it 3 times etc etc...hassle hassle) what about if our one and only account got fraudently done over ...mmm yes...will stick to 2 sep accounts in case of emergency!

VinoEsmeralda · 05/01/2009 20:27

Everything comes out of our joined account. Have joined savings other then ISA's but since I became a SAHM mum DH did notice I didnt spent money on myself and opened a single account for me to use for myself only

Hulababy · 05/01/2009 20:27

We only have joint accounts and have done since we moved in together. Everything comes out of it. We have one credit card between us too (card each, one account). Both of us are freely able to use any of the joint money. We do tend to clear with one another any bigger buys thoughs apart from when buying presents for one another.

We are also happy to take money from one another;s wallets as well - although tend to tell one another again, so they know if they are carrying less money than before so they don;t worry they;ve lost it.

We don;t have any his/her money, only joint.

stillenacht · 05/01/2009 20:29

Bloody Hell!! - money for yourself!!! - the other day DH told me to go to the shops and get myself something nice (I hate shopping and rarely go) - this is the first time in nearly 20 years of being together he has said this.He usually moans if he sees that i have been to ASDA at Home to get the kids uniforms.

lovelysongbirdie · 05/01/2009 20:39

i don't think its a sahm/wohm thing, as most people sort out wht they are going to do before having children

we have always had a joint account for 8 years before having dd.

Dottoressa · 05/01/2009 20:47

DH and I only have joint accounts (and a fair few of them, too). One of the first things we did when we got together was to turn all his bank accounts into joint accounts! (I only had one account, and it had peanuts in it). All our credit cards are held jointly, too.

We take money freely from one another's pockets/wallets without a second thought.

If we didn't have joint accounts, I'd be, um, completely penniless

We did agree right at the start that whatever either of us had was joint money. It seemed to both of us to be a sign of faith in our relationship (I know many will disagree - it's just how we saw/see it). Thus when my trust fund matured (yes, lucky me), it just went into the same house-buying pot as all our other money.

It probably helps that our spending habits are pretty similar (neither of us has ever had an overdraft or paid off a credit card bill late). It could perhaps be more difficult if we had completely different attitudes to money.

I have to say, though, that I wish I'd married Vino's DH!!!

sarah293 · 06/01/2009 07:53

This reply has been deleted

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ditzzy · 06/01/2009 08:52

We had all joint accounts from before we even moved in together let alone day one of marriage! I was earning while he wasn't, so when he ran out of money I put him on my account/ credit card.

All was fine like this for years but then I started feeling guilty about spending 'our' money, always checking with him first if I was making a big-ish spend, and he would always say yes; so when he then checked with me about some BIG spends that I felt were completely unecessary, I said yes too.... cue big arguements, my credit card being turned down in supermarket because he'd 'misjudged' the exact cost of something (by nearly £1000 ) and gone over the limit in a big way.

Now we have separate accounts for income from which we pay into a joint 'household account'. In answer to who pays for extra stuff that's going to be joint - it goes on a joint credit card that gets added to the bills list for the month and paid off jointly.

It seems to work better this way round for us. I reckon joint everything only works if you have the same attitudes to spending/saving!

honestfriend · 06/01/2009 10:46

Both.

We have a joint account for all household expenses, into which both our earnings go, but I also have a separate busienss account, my own ISAs and my own savings account-and so does DH - left over from when I was working full time and unmarried- married later than was usual 25 yrs back!

I feel it is improtant that I have some independence, but if we are short in our joint account, I will transfer money from my own accounts.

I have also bought household things from my own savings accounts- such as £3K carpets for the house - as I had the money and he didn't, except in ISAs.

All in all this owrks. I don't feel guilty if I want to use "my" savings for myself, but I will readily top up our joint account if need be.

GirlWithTheMouseyHair · 06/01/2009 15:20

i have my own account and his wages go into the joint account

just worked out that way because i organise our money (move it into savings accounts, pay off bills etc) and just easier for me to have access to his account so I can do it all online. It's all our money at the end of the day but I enjoy being able to take him out with my money and vice versa. Our savings are all in my name too....

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