Am I odd to have joint bank accounts with DH?

[TheSweetLittleBunny]

We have always had joint accounts, any money earned by either of us goes in the account(s)and all direct debit, bills, shopping etc comes out of it. We freely take money out of each other's purse/wallet, pockets etc.
It's just that I was having a conversation with someone who said "it's your money and you can do what you want with it". And I found it a surprising stance to take, surely it is "our" money not "mine" or "his". This person equally thought I was crazy to have a joint account with dh

we have a joint account which all money earned goes into and then we each have a "pocket money" account - we have the same (small and getting smaller!)amount each month - to buy clothes for ourselves, presents for each other etc. But we never "owe" each other money - it belongs to both of us.

Equal partners - he earns it, I spend it

Go for it sprogger.
Perhaps it's all about trust. We need money in this society and a lot of value is placed on having and holding on to money. When people want to hold on to some degree of financial independance in a relationship are they perhaps saying that they don't fully trust their OH's enough?
We need money to pay our mortgages and our bills, and have fun with what's left but in terms of value, money is a just a small part of our relationship.

DH and I had a joint account (cheaper to be overdrawn on one than on two!). For the first few years I was getting paid by cheque and he in cash, so it was 'my' money going in and paying bills. Then I got ill and dh got a different job and was paid by BACS into the joint account. I had to stop work. At this point it became his money and I had no real access to it. I had to go cap in hand to him every time I wanted a bit of dosh and explain what I wanted it for etc. He was still getting cash payments for his other work, so was pretty flush, but really resented giving me as much as a fiver.

After a while, Gordon Brown started giving me money in the form of a Giro (tax credits) and I didn't have to ask for money so much. Then I started getting DLA as well. Both of these benefits go into another account, which is joint, but which he thinks isn't (he knows it is really). So in a way we have separate accounts, but actually they're both joint. I don't think about who pays what, as far as I'm concerned it all comes to the same thing. It is nice not to have to ask for money any more though.

Joint account here - we only opened one when we moved back to the UK in September though, up till then we'd had separate ones (just because we'd never got round to opening a joint one though, not for any financial reasons).

We earn very similar (and reasonable sized) amounts, so don't really bother checking with each other before spending from the account either.

Can't imagine ever having to ask DH for a handout!

I dont get the judgeiness (?) of some posters here with other peoples financial arrangements. Do what works for you - joint account/ seperate /both. Why does it matter what other people do?

My 'Fairness' point comes from the fact that We both can spend free our own money (and BTW DH has as much as me to spend) without it touching the family finances IYKWIM. No matter what the bills are piad and things re sorted. DH doesn't like to feel I am subbing him so I don't. However I do pay for almost everything bar sky tv!! This works for us, so I guess whatever works for you

My 'Fairness' point comes from the fact that We both can spend free our own money (and BTW DH has as much as me to spend) without it touching the family finances IYKWIM. No matter what the bills are piad and things re sorted. DH doesn't like to feel I am subbing him so I don't. However I do pay for almost everything bar sky tv!! This works for us, so I guess whatever works for you

I have a savings account with my OH but would never ever pool our money into one account. We earn the same but we buy different things and I believe our money is our own once we have paid bills etc.

Joint everything here. Dh earns way more than I ever could in my life time but I never ask him when I take money out of the account -for-- shoes. He does ask to look in my purse or me his wallet.

we have a joint acount which we both pay an equal amount into and all the bills get paid from there. We have our own bank accounts as we earn basically the same money - it means like someone said earlier that we don't spend £30 at the same instant and go over drawn. We spend our own money from our own accounts on things for ourselves (clothes etc), but if one or other is having a bad month (i.e. the next sale took over her life and she went a bit mad ) then the other just transfers money across to make sure that neither goes over drawn.

fimbo, why does he ask to look in your purse ?

Sorry it was a badly worded last post, I meant if he is looking for loose change or enough money for dd's school dinners etc, he asks to look in my purse rather than just helping himself.

I would always keep a seperate account for me and perhaps have a joint account to pay off a mortgage and bills etc. It's the way my parents have done it for years, couldn't imagine ever wanting to do it any other way to be honest.

We have a joint account and 'pocket money accounts'. All the money goes into the joint account and then we each have a standing order (same amount) which goes into our pocket money. This way we can save up for things, or spend money, without worrying about upsetting each other.

Up until now we have had individual accounts where our salaries have gone and one joint account which we both put an amount into to cover bills. When I was earning more I put more into the joint account and whilst I have been on ML DH has put more into the joint account. However now having been married for a year we are ready to make the transition to pay both our salaries into the joint account and just take a small (equal) allowance from that each to spend on fripperies for ourselves (in my case EAT lunches, in DH case shoes probably). I am looking forward to this change, it's like a new next step in the relationship. Properly married like our parents were so to speak (but probably explained badly)

We have a joint account - salaries go into that, mortgage and all bills come out of it. We used to have our own pocket money accounts like HSMM, which we allocated a certain amount to each other per month to spend as we pleased, but since the DC's came along, and the credit crunch, there just isn't any spare money anymore so that's a bit redundant now .

Now we just discuss with each other if we want to make a more personal purchase. So I'll say I'm desperate for a new pair of jeans and I think we can afford it and DH rolls his eyes smiles politely and says "of course dear".

We have always been joint. I think that unless you have wildly different ideas about spending and saving that it's just the easiest way to do things. I'm a SAHM now, so it's easiest for me to go to the bank and DH is always taking money from my purse. He'd better stop when I go back to work!

Sprogger I dont think sweetlittlebunny was being critical of your set up just agreeing it was a big step and telling you to go for it

We opened a joint account the day we got back from honeymoon.
Everything gets paid into it and everything comes out of it.
If either of us want to buy something out of the ordinary - clothing, shoes etc - we mention it to the other, as a courtesy. It's like mentioning it when you take money out of eachother's wallets; a courtesy.

I think that you have to go with what works for you. But I know that, now I'm earning hardly anything, I'd feel awful if I had to ask DH for money, and so would he.

I have a friend who has a joint account which her DH's money goes into and all shopping/bills etc come out of. She also has an account only in her name where she puts money she earns through Phoenix cards and her own card-making business. She uses this money to treat herself. It works for her but I'd feel a bit guilty about it, especially as they aren't the richest people in the World ...

we have a joint account, that all our money goes into. i manage the finances as dh is hopeless (by his own admission) if either of us wants to buy anything we do,he has his own money weekly that he draws out for his cigs,petrol and other bits, we never go in each others purse/wallett without asking, it works for us this way,we used to have seperate accounts but find it easier this way.

my mum and dad have always had seperate accounts and borrow money off each other,we used to be in hysterics when on a sunday evening they would write down well you owe me 2 pound and i owe you a fiver,but it works for them as they like the independence of it.

whatever works best for anyone is the best for them i reckon!!

If you are odd so am i, i struggle to understand couples who have completly seperate finances especially if one is SAH.

its always been our money, although we both a certain amount of pocket money each money to spend or save as we like.
works very well for us.

dp and i have had joint accounts and shared money for as long as we've been living together.

it just seems natural to us and having children only emphasised that fact.

ganerally i'm in charge of finances as by his own addmission dp isn't the best person for the job but we both have free access to each others wallets and and to the accounts... i just get the fun of dealing with the bills

we have a joint mortgage account for all household bills and our own separate accounts which our salaries go into
works for us