For those that like to gloat, please do. I deserve it!

[Fizzfiend]

Just been texting my OM. He is unavailable for a couple days next week as he is seeing his proper girlfriend (I am just the bit on the side). I didn't know he was still seeing her. He has just left his DP (with whom he has 2 kids). What a mess. Have been in floods of tears. DH has not bothered me...that's another conversation I need to have (our marriage isn't working, etc). Bloody hell...you women with nice DHs are SO lucky! Please give them a hug. I am so fucked. Nobody loves me (aaaah!) Well my dd does. If I were a weaker person I would be throwing myself off a cliff right now. But time for another vodka so I can toast the New Year in by myself with my goldfish.

Do you want to try and make a go of it with your husband? Is there enough compatibility/respect and if not love, affection, left between you to make it worthwhile trying to go to relate and get beyond it?

Poor you social. Nothing can ever be harder than this. It can only get easier. Do you have sisters? I hope you have somebody you can talk to.. If not, name change regularly and come back here.

This board has kept me sane in the 18 months since I left an abusive x.

It must be really hard for you. Do you feel you can't talk about the pregnancy? Like, one day you're going to arrive home with a baby.

His wife knows.

um are you quite sure the mirena was in?
www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=conception&threadid=663950-Mirena-coil-had-mine-taken-out-six-weeks-ago -How#13500965

what do you want to happen? do you want to move away with this man away from the gossips?

Do you want your husband to still want you & baby? Has he made it clear what he feels either way?

Would your life be easier if you weren't trying to subconsciously make up for this mistake for ever?

He needs to face up to it. YOU need to know whether he's prepared to try and make things work, or ...NOT.

If NOT, it's not fair of him to leave it until it is too late for you to terminate, and then walk off and leave you to it. Sorry to be really blunt there.

I know he has the right to act like the injured party. But it's happened and you need to know what to do next.

at the moment do you consider yourself as being in a relationship with either your husband or the other man?

What about leaving both men and bringing up this baby alone?

You can't abort the baby because your husband doen't want you to have it for many reasons.

Keeping the baby won't make the om leave his wife to make a life with you so you have to have the baby for you.

Sorry, I meant her husband needs to tell her whether he feels he can make effort in the marriage, accept the baby 100%, no point 50% living with the situation.

I agree with pp, being on your own could give you the most peace of mind. Unless you really love your husband and are desperate to make it work, staying with him when he's not even making it clear to you that he forgives you, loves you, wants to stay together.. well, I think you would be happier and have more peace of mind being on your own.