For those that like to gloat, please do. I deserve it!

[Fizzfiend]

Just been texting my OM. He is unavailable for a couple days next week as he is seeing his proper girlfriend (I am just the bit on the side). I didn't know he was still seeing her. He has just left his DP (with whom he has 2 kids). What a mess. Have been in floods of tears. DH has not bothered me...that's another conversation I need to have (our marriage isn't working, etc). Bloody hell...you women with nice DHs are SO lucky! Please give them a hug. I am so fucked. Nobody loves me (aaaah!) Well my dd does. If I were a weaker person I would be throwing myself off a cliff right now. But time for another vodka so I can toast the New Year in by myself with my goldfish.

OKay

Start at beginning.

Had an affair with friends husband. Really good friend. He has left her for me/ been caught twice and gone back twice. Last time because I made him because we live in a small place and it was just horrible. I am still seperated from my husband although I do spend a lot of time with him...
I do still see om. I cannot describe the way I feel about him. Know he feels the same but the pain we cause others is horrific.
Just spoken to his wife on the phone she asked if I had seen him since the last time she knew about. I just said 'don't ask me please' repeatedly
omg- and he walked into that after work.
and if she is on mn then I will have to emigrate.

Okay

So you are separated from your husband but seeing him as a friend?

Had an affair with man who went back to wife. Wife somehow knows your number and has rung you. Seems she must have reason to think you have been together but you haven't.

You want to be with man but he won't leave wife.

Is that it?

What do you mean what you have been on?

Spend lots of time with husband not just as friend but not together as such....
She knows my number as we were all friends
I have seen/ been out with her husband
We never discuss him leaving.
God thats much worse.
Not being flippant actually feel very ill.

If you could choose what you wanted with no one getting hurt, what would you choose?

If you could choose what you wanted with no one getting hurt, what would you choose?

Other threads.... I am quite distinctive..

om.

why do you think she might be on here?

oh crap

right, what do you think he would want?

I hope she isn't. Or I am dead.
Don't know. Similar to me. No one to get hurt.

but she knows you had an affair with him?

is it still going on but she doens't know that?

She knows. We got caught. Twice.
I guess she must suspect.

go and get your man

So this guy had a serious partner and two girlfriends on the side? He sounds a nob. Maybe he was a bit of excitement and that excitement wasn't worth it.

If your marriage is making you unhappy,don't be afraid to leave it. There is no medal for staying in an unhappy marriage, and it isn't good for your child.

My x's parents stayed in a very unhappy marriage and he is a total screwup.

I like the sentiment but how?

How did it feel when you read what I said?

I coud have said finish it - how would that have made you feel?

BTW I am sure you know about my recent upheaval so are trying to be sensible but also following my heart.

I felt empowered actually. Is that quite sad?
I know this sounds lame but we just sort of 'fit' and it feels like nothing else.
I did read about yours. Was it resolved? Is it selfish to follow your heart though regardless of others.

Of course it isn't sad. It is sad that you can't be with the one you love.

I think there is only one option tbh, he leaves his wife for good and you and he are together or it finishes.

Carrying on an affair isn't doing you any good and sounds like it might even be making you ill.

OM finished it but I have texted him and emailed since but hope that once he doesn't reply on Monday I will accept it is over.

Social, it sounds like it's all out in the open, he left his wife for you TWICE, I don't think anything would shock her now, there are no secrets. Even if you emigrated to Australia first thing tomorrow morning, you'd still be the white elephant in their marriage.
I'm probably going to be flamed for this, but I think the damage is done and that if he wants to be with you and you want to be with him then it'd be pointless for him to waste his wife's time until the next affair he has cos he's not happy with her.

of course, if he wants to go back to the days before she knew, before you were cheating then,,, let them try.

Must be AWful knowing that a former friend thinks so badly of you.