Just said some unforgivable things in front of my children...

[Lonelymum]

...to both them and dh. But I feel so betrayed and let down right now. I am so miserable and lonely and I would have thought dh would support me when I try to do something about it but no, he just sits around on his backside watching TV and reneging on promises made to me only 24 hours ago.

I don't really want to go into details, but I have no-one else to talk to (dh has taken the kids into another room so they don't have to hear the terrible things I am coming out with) and I feel so sad.

Dh put his hands around my throat to push me away from them all and I heard one of my kids crying at the sight. I know no-one is around right now but I have to get this out.

LIZS I did go into the library last week and noted down mother and toddler groups round here. I am hoping to summmon up the courage to go to one of those next week. That would be a start wouldn't it?

No NBG!

That sounds like a good start but I really also meant to look for something for you to do for yourself ! Is there a local walking group or art workshop ?

Does the library have a reading to toddlers seesion you could pop along to?
Are there any jo jingles classes near you?

Why would anyone think you were socially disfunctional LM? You've just moved to a new city, you have the perfect excuse for trying out news things and admitting that you don't know anyone. Do you still want to be thinking teh same way in 12 months time? Maybe it's take a deep breath time and just do something to give you a little bit of confidence? Can you drive?

Don't know. Either I am finding it hard to find out about things round here or it is still early days, but I don't know about activites here.
Ironically I have sorted out dancing for dd, beavers for ds2 and cubs for ds1 though and have put their names down for swimming, and rainbows for dd. That has been my life for years now: arranging activities for the children and making sure they get there on time and are picked up. Nothing for me.

They don't understand. The children have school and dh has work and both get them out of the house and provide them with social contact, but if I don't speak to the person behind me in the queue at Tescos, I don't get any contact with anyone outside the family at all. I have become a nobody

What about doing an evening class. I'm going to look into this for me. As I need something outside of motherhood.

No you haven't LM. Only you think that way about yourself. Other people seeing you have no idea who you are so you can become who you want to be(within reason!) I know it's a cliche but nightschool? Learn a language - you have to talk to there people then. Don't expect to "make friedns" but just some social interaction that doesn't involve your family.

snap MM

Yes MM I was going to learn Italian last September but did n't apply as I thought we were moving. We didn't then, but have now so it was as well I didn't start anything then. perhaps in September. It would be too late to enrol for summer classes now wouldn't it? What would you like to learn about?

It may not be too late - have a look for your local Adult Education centre in the Yellow pages and give them a call !

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I fancy a bit of learning about indian Head massage or something like that?

I suppose I need to give it time. Tinker is right in that I am in a new place and have the perfect opportunity to start new things and the perfect excuse to not know anyone. I just feel angry that I was going to do something today and dh let me down at the last minute. He is stomping about the place now. Another crappy day stretches ahead of us, then he swans off to work tomorrow and abroad on Wednesday.

It seems we cannot rely on our Hubbys too much does it?
Oh well time to please ourselves maybe?

Wouldn't mind so much if I knew any other women the same as me! (apart from through the computer)

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One night and I am panic stricken as you might guess Aimsmum, but he had one night away a fortnight ago and I felt OK about it surprisingly.

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Does the church you were thinking of going to have a mum and toddler group? That might be a more friendly way to start contact with the church.

How about going to your new doctor and perhaps accepting some ADs? Then perhaps when a course of counselling or CBT comes up you would feel more receptive.

And don't worry about the kids - they will have shrugged it all off!

Aimsmum, yes the going away is regular unfortunately. Dh sells me this line that whatever job he did would involve nights away and I have to accept that as I don't want to stand in his way career-wise.

Jangly, yes there is a mother and toddler group attached to the church and I have already put off going to it twice so maybe this week I will summon up the courage. It would be nice to think I might meet someone there who would say hello when I went to church. It only takes one person doesn't it?

Hi LM, I'm in Bristol as you know. Sorry it's been a horrible weekend for you. If you want to meet me for a walk this week with children (I only have a baby during the day) I'm around Mon -Thursday during school hours. I know what you mean about not being up to a whole meet up but if you could cope with just me (and maybe tortoiseshell, we've talked about a walk this week) then CAT me. Hey, I can tell you the awful things I've done as a parent, might cheer you up!

Thanks. I am feeling really low though. I don't think I could meet anyone who knew how I felt. But I'll remember your offer in case the week gets worse.