Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Just said some unforgivable things in front of my children...

104 replies

Lonelymum · 20/03/2005 11:20

...to both them and dh. But I feel so betrayed and let down right now. I am so miserable and lonely and I would have thought dh would support me when I try to do something about it but no, he just sits around on his backside watching TV and reneging on promises made to me only 24 hours ago.

I don't really want to go into details, but I have no-one else to talk to (dh has taken the kids into another room so they don't have to hear the terrible things I am coming out with) and I feel so sad.

Dh put his hands around my throat to push me away from them all and I heard one of my kids crying at the sight. I know no-one is around right now but I have to get this out.

OP posts:
wobblyknicks · 20/03/2005 11:43

lonelymum - take the power leads/scart leads/whatever to the tv, consoles etc with you on your walk and see how well he's managed when you get back

Original poster
Lonelymum · 20/03/2005 11:44

Might go out later NBG but I have no family around (or friends - only just moved here). I went shoppping yesterday on my own. I must admit, I am not really one who enjoys shopping at all.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lonelymum · 20/03/2005 11:45

Thanks WK you made me smile. First time today I think.

OP posts:
Aimsmum · 20/03/2005 11:45

Message withdrawn

wobblyknicks · 20/03/2005 11:46

That's good LM , but am totally serious - you need a break and he needs to know what its like to look after the kids without electrical goods!!

LIZS · 20/03/2005 11:46

I think many of us could identify with that, if only on an occasional basis. I know this may be difficult and can't remember how old your kids are, but could you , for example, build just a little time in for you into the day. Could be something like leaving the house 15 minutes earlier to do the afternoon school run, so that you could take a breather in a park in the sunshine, or go to the library for example.

lynny70 · 20/03/2005 11:46

Message deleted

Newbarnsleygirl · 20/03/2005 11:47

Ah yes, Was it Bristol you moved to?

How about the meet up idea? Would you do it?
I really think you'd enjoy it.

Original poster
Lonelymum · 20/03/2005 11:51

I just don't know what the asnswer is. I feel in such a deep pit (nine years in the making - that is how long I have been a SAHM) that I can't see the way out anymore. I wanted to go to church today as a first step to joining a new community, but first dh and then the kids ducked out of going with me and then I thought I would just look like some sad disfunctional woman sitting at the back and I couldn't bring myself to go alone. I feel like I have ceased to function on any social level anymore (apart from on Mumsnet whcih is why I am here now and not out on my own as some of you have suggested.)

OP posts:
Original poster
Lonelymum · 20/03/2005 11:53

I am scared to meet new people. I don't believe they will like me - so many people have failed to like me in the past. Also, I am scared that if anyone does like me, I will instantly pour out all my woes to them or cry and then they will feel it is too heavy and will back away from me.

OP posts:
mummytosteven · 20/03/2005 11:55

i know i've suggested this before, but are you sure you wouldn't fancy a book group?

just i think that if you're not feeling socially confident, it's good to have a structured activity behind the socialising. or any sort of sporting/exercise/yoga type class.

MN meetups are good ways to make friends, as people there tend to be quite motivated to make friends/may also feel stuck in the SAHM social rut.

Newbarnsleygirl · 20/03/2005 11:56

Why don't you get job? Even if it's just a part time position somewhere.

I bet there's loads of mumsnetters that would like to meet up with you LM. I would but I'm about 200 miles from you.

nikcola · 20/03/2005 11:56

were do you live LM? x

mummytosteven · 20/03/2005 11:57

exactly, NBG. I live far too blooming far away as well!

Newbarnsleygirl · 20/03/2005 11:58

This is the beauty of you meeting some other Mnetters. They will "know" you a bit already. It's not like your meeting strangers.

Original poster
Lonelymum · 20/03/2005 12:00

Just moved to near Bristol.

This will sound like excuses, but I still have ds3 at home with me and I don't know what care arrangements could be made for him if I took a job. Anyway, what job? I don't have the confidence......

Book club? Not sure. Can't read a book just because everyone else is going to. It needs to be something I want to read first.

OP posts:
mummytosteven · 20/03/2005 12:02

No, not an excuse on the job front - if you need childcare it does get very involved as to whether any job is worth the hassle/expensive of arranging childcare.

if you are at all into exercise, it might be worth checking out if there are any surestart exercise classes with free creche near you.

Original poster
Lonelymum · 20/03/2005 12:02

Not sure I could face Mumsnetters after what I have just said! I made myself sound like a total social pariah! I do feel a bit closer to the idea of a Mumsnetter meet up now than I did when I first came on Mumsnet and said I was lonely (months ago), but, but, but, but, but, but..............................

OP posts:
Newbarnsleygirl · 20/03/2005 12:03

I would be happy to CAT you with details of the company I work for. I've passed it on to a couple of other Mnetters.

Basically you pick and choose when you want to work, If you want to work one day a week you can or more if yo want. You get picked up and dropped off, the pay is quite good and it's working with kids.

Original poster
Lonelymum · 20/03/2005 12:04

No MTS I hate exercise for exercise sake. I have never done any, ever! I like cycling and hill walking and exercise such as that but not gyms or aerobics or anything. Dh wants me to take up tennis but I am crap at sport, always have been.

OP posts:
Aimsmum · 20/03/2005 12:04

Message withdrawn

Original poster
Lonelymum · 20/03/2005 12:05

I used to be a teacher NBG. I would like to get away from children now!

OP posts:
LIZS · 20/03/2005 12:05

Can you go to your local library and find out what is on offer locally - could be a short adult education course (some may start after Easter), sports centre or activity in church hall , some of which may have a creche. Even just doing something like swimming regularly , may help you feel more social without the pressure.

Original poster
Lonelymum · 20/03/2005 12:07

Yes adult literacy classes have crossed my mind Aimsmum (teaching them I mean!) I am just so lacking in confidence. I can't even go to church on my own dammit. I don't know how to get back out into society.

OP posts:
Newbarnsleygirl · 20/03/2005 12:07

I've just started snowboarding lessons LM and it's fab. The feeling you get when you go down those slopes is amazing. It's like being set free (chessy I know but it's true)
Could you do something like that? There is a place at Milton Keynes that does it, skiing as well,Is milton keynes near you?