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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Small Willie. Help. AKA the demise of the cynic!

109 replies

mumski · 14/10/2008 19:01

Ok in a nut shell. Divorced 5 years ago. Had a number of partners since. My friends dispared of me as I was so cynical after horrid divorce. I've always finished with them. Said I'd NEVER trust a man again and could never see me falling in love again. But hey. Have know S for a while through work and had been seeing him for a few weeks. And OMG this feels different. Scarily I can see me falling for him and it seems he feels the same. He ticks all the boxes.... except 1. His has a bit of a small willie (pause for a titter girls). And I just don't know what to do. My vulgar friend said it sounded a bit like a 'stick in a bucket' but must admit its a good description. He's so lovely, kind fun. and I don't want this to be an issue.
comments, suggestions, slap from anyone?

OP posts:
OldLadyKnowsNothing · 14/10/2008 21:38

Lynette, that most definitely isn't true.

HRHSaintMamazon · 14/10/2008 21:40

small willies aren't all bad if yu enjoy clitoral stimulation.

he pushes so hard into you that you end up with his pelvis grinding against yours and good clitoral action.

Wispabarsareback · 14/10/2008 22:10

All definitely aren't the same size when erect!! But small can be completely satisfactory - think it must be what HRHSaintMamazon said...

skyatnight · 14/10/2008 22:14

It depends how small. I started seeing someone and it transpired that he had a button mushroom which turned into a chipolata (ok maybe not quite that small but not far off). It was not physically satisfying but also, mentally, I felt awkward and ridiculous (and hollow!). And he couldn't orgasm (at all, in any way, with anyone - or that is what he told me) so maybe there was something physiologically amiss or maybe it was psychological. Who knows. But he did seem to enjoy sex. Or maybe he was pretending?

Anyway, it was unsatisfying in every possible way and I couldn't relax and get into it, no matter how hard I tried, how inventive or generous I tried to be. Sex is in the mind as well. We had been getting along well before we slept together but things went downhill from there. I tried to cover up my feelings and went on another date with him to see if there was any scope for it working (ok and maybe out of guilt / a desire to prove to myself that I was not so superficial) but he must have sensed I wasn't comfortable and that I didn't want a repeat performance so he started acting all bitter and twisted. I was finding out that I didn't like him anyway or maybe he acted that way because he knew a rejection was coming and wanted to precipitate it.

I was relieved to end things. I felt a bit shitty for about a nanosecond followed by more relief and gratitude that I had not got too attached to him before finding out we were 'incompatible'. (Brhrhrhrh - shudders with embarassing memory of it.)

QuintessenceOfFrankenShadow · 14/10/2008 22:17

Why isnt the OP returning to her/his thread?

anyfucker · 14/10/2008 22:19

bloody hell sky, that sounds traumatic

skyatnight · 14/10/2008 22:29

Oh, it's the way I tell them!

No, it was disappointing and depressing and humiliating, for both of us I presume. I had thought there was a real spark between us but the bad sex was the end of that.

But it was just me and him. Doesn't mean you can extrapolate from there and say that sex with any man with a small one is no good.

QuintessenceOfFrankenShadow · 15/10/2008 06:14

I had a bf with a very small one once. I dont know how small is small, but for sure smaller than I had ever seen before (or since). But it was very satisfactory. Great in fact. He knew how to compensate for it. He used it well. There was no embarassment. Though, having said that, I used to be a very tight fit pre kids, so that would have helped.

Kally · 15/10/2008 09:02

What happened to Mumski?

blueser · 15/10/2008 15:08

what is the right position to hit the g spot?

Original poster
mumski · 15/10/2008 16:24

Sorry everyone. Was just off practising some of the suggestions on here.
I feel a complete shall cow for even posting on here. But having had such a bloody aweful and abusive marriage for so long, i guess I want it all to be ok - perhaps unrealistically.
Love the comments, it humour which gets us through.
Dispite seeming brash on the outside we are both quite shy people really so all this may take a bit of working through.
xx

OP posts:
Leoloopydoo · 15/10/2008 16:36

I had a bf with a small one and we had great sex (also a very loving caring person and overall we had a very good relationship although we weren't together for very long).

TheCrackFox · 15/10/2008 16:59

One of my friends DHs has a huge cock but has no libdo whatsoever and she is very frustrated at times.

Mumski, you are just going to have to get creative.

JeanieG · 15/10/2008 17:06

Can I just add my tuppence worth? My ex had an enormous thingy, and he was absolutely crap in bed. He was very selfish and I'm sure he thought that women should just fall at his feet cos he had a big lash!

anyfucker · 15/10/2008 18:52

keep your tuppence out of it JeanieG, we are talking cocks here

susia · 15/10/2008 20:16

It depends on how small. I don't find men with small cocks satisfying or nice to look at. It's really shallow I know but true

expatinscotland · 15/10/2008 20:18

i'm with susia.

oral just doesn't make up for it, IMO.

shallow, i know.

but it would always be an issue for me.

sorry, for me, it's always been a dealbreaker.

JeanieG · 15/10/2008 23:50

Anyfucker-ha ha! That made me laugh.

Leoloopydoo · 16/10/2008 08:56

Susia how can you tell if a man has a small cock just by looking at him? or do you aks all men to take their clothes off when you first meet them just to check if their cocks are big in enough?

Kally · 16/10/2008 09:19

No. noooo... I think Susia mean ONCE she sees they....

ShakingThatAss · 16/10/2008 10:01

There's the issue of whether he's a shower or a grower. I've been on some naturist hol's and you see all sorts, including some tiny wrinkly ones which you can guess are going to grow muuuch bigger, and I remember seeing an unusually huge flacid one (playing tennis - LOL!) which had not a wrinkle in it, so once erect, it wasn't going to be any bigger. (God, that makes me sound like I was looking at willies the whole time, which I truly wasn't!)

And then, my ex, who I would guess had a slightly shorter than average (5"?) but sufficiently wide specimen, was great in bed. The girth is more important than the length, because it's the vagina being stretched which makes it feel so good - too much length bangs your cervix and can bruise and lead to cystitis (this happened to me with another, bigger guy and he wasn't even close to my ex in terms of bedroom performance). I knew a couple who were together for seven years and he was so big that they never once had sex where he was able to go all the way in. Short and fat is possibly better than long and thin.

So if his girth is half-decent, and your man is good orally and with his hands, there is every chance you can be a very satisfied woman.

dizietsma · 16/10/2008 15:07

Boyfriend of mine had a teeeeeny little penis, probably no larger than 2 inches, but was actually a spectacular lay.

I enjoy penetration and do orgasm from it, but he improvised with his hands and various dildos and always managed to satisfy me that way.

I think that men with smaller penises are usually better in bed because they're insecure about their size. The one 12 incher I encountered was summarily unsatisfying and painful to boot.

expatinscotland · 16/10/2008 15:08

two inches?

i'd have left!

sorry, i know that sounds awful, but i have climbed out a bathroom window before .

Kally · 16/10/2008 15:15

expat! I'm afraid I would have done a runner on a 2 incher as well!!!! LOL

Thomcat · 16/10/2008 15:30

Really, can a man have a penis that small, even when erect - 2 inches! Oh...my... GODF, how awful!

Sorry.

Skyatnight - you poor thing, I feel your pain!

Good luck Mumski. Maybe try a vibrating cock ring to help spice his penetration?

Don't ask me to link to one, I'm on a work PC and my boss is bound to walk in the door behind me as I call it up on screen. But google Durex ring, or cock ring and somethign will pop up.