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Original poster

suspicious joint account debit

28 replies

GrinningGorilla · 22/09/2008 21:41

I havent had a card or had any input into our joint account for two years. I had to get dp to get 12 months of statements for legal reasons - he was really funny about it and took ages. He then said he has disputed two debits which he did not take out. They were for friends re-united.
He was really stressed about it.
Does this site have a dating bit on it, or a live chat room on it?

OP posts:
IllegallyBrunette · 22/09/2008 21:44

It has both as far as I know.

Also, when is it for ?? Just asking because I thought FR had stopped charging for the friends bit of the site anyway, but I might be wrong.

LynetteScavo · 22/09/2008 21:45

How much were they?

Friends Reunited used to be £5 a year, but is now free.

IllegallyBrunette · 22/09/2008 21:45

Also, if the paymenmts were disupted then you should be able to see on the statement when the money was refunded to the account.

Original poster
GrinningGorilla · 22/09/2008 21:47

It was back last October, and I know I should probably just let it go but I am like a dog with a bone. I don't like deceit.

OP posts:
aintnosaint · 22/09/2008 21:47

You can contact old school friends on it and share email address' to catch up. It's something I'd be a tad suspicious about if dp is hiding it from you

I've heard many stories of ex'es getting back together through there. It start's off just friendly and can quickly move on to other things. I've had 3 of my friends dh's start up affairs through there with old gf, one of which left and wanted to come back after 9 months of finding the grass wasn't greener on the other side as he imagined

Your dp needs to be honest with you if he's joined up. It used to cost about a fiver I think but now from what I beleive it's free to join

Original poster
GrinningGorilla · 22/09/2008 21:48

One was for £17 more or less and the other £21 and odd pence. It was within 2 days of each other.

OP posts:
Original poster
GrinningGorilla · 22/09/2008 21:50

So if it was only £5 to join what on that site would cost that much?

OP posts:
Mutt · 22/09/2008 21:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

aintnosaint · 22/09/2008 21:54

I've never known it to cost that much, my dh and I both joined, admittedly quite a few years ago. I paid the fiver I think it was then but he being a tight ass didn't want to pay LOL.

I got chatting with old girlfiends I hadn't seen for years but one day an ex from school contacted me and dh went absolutely ballistic. I've never been on since. It caused so much friction and arguments I didn't want the hassle

ShinyPinkShoes · 22/09/2008 21:56

Erm....I'm really sorry but those amounts suggest he was subscribed to the Friends Reunited Dating Site

I had a profile on there until the beginning of this year and recall paying amounts similar to those.

Sorry.

Original poster
GrinningGorilla · 22/09/2008 21:59

Perhaps I could email the site and ask them what their prices were last year for the dating bit..... DP is adamant that it is not him that used the card to go onto the site and that's why he is disputing it. But how likely is it that someone else has used his details over the net to go on friends/dating re-unite???

OP posts:
beanieb · 22/09/2008 22:00

Have you tried looking him up on there to see what info he has put in his profile.

Original poster
GrinningGorilla · 22/09/2008 22:02

If he joined last year october would his profile still be on there?

OP posts:
Mutt · 22/09/2008 22:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IllegallyBrunette · 22/09/2008 22:04

I don't know if it is the same for all banks, but I have recently had to dispute 3 payments made on my account.

Once you dispute the payment, you have 10 days to return the paperwork. Failing to return it is admitting liability for the payments.

Also the card for that account would of been cancelled and reissued.

I have been told that I should have my money back into my account within 15 days.

When is he saying he disputed the paytments ?? Or is he saying he has only just noticed them ?

Original poster
GrinningGorilla · 22/09/2008 22:06

I will ring the bank tomorrow. He told me today he was going to the bank tomorrow to close that account because he was so angry about it . Apparently they still haven't got back to him about it.

OP posts:
Original poster
GrinningGorilla · 22/09/2008 22:09

Another thing he said that he swore the debits were not on the original statements and so he had no idea that those debits were on there until he got the duplicate statements. I pointed out they were duplicates and nothing would be different he turned round and said "I knew you would start accusing me off stuff, I told the bank that"

OP posts:
Mutt · 22/09/2008 22:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnnasBananas · 22/09/2008 22:19

Join up to friends reunited yourself, it is free, and see if you can search for him, see what it says. I guess you won't be able to see his dating site profile unless you yourself are a member of the dating site.

The amounts would have been on the original statements. Me thinks he is lying. They would have cancelled the card for internet fraud if he had complained about it.

Original poster
GrinningGorilla · 22/09/2008 22:20

Unfortunately past history is the best predictor of future behaviour. I will go through the statement and go in the bank during my lunch break. I am going on that site and see what I can find out too.

OP posts:
Mutt · 22/09/2008 22:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
GrinningGorilla · 22/09/2008 22:26

Mutt, I don't think you are cynical. I knew there was something odd when he wasnt keen for me to have the bank statments. I am so pissed off that he is still lieing about it. I wish that he would realise that he would be better off in the long run if he just came clean about it.

OP posts:
beanieb · 22/09/2008 22:50

Is paymentd by direct debit which he has indemnified? This would be different to just disputing them. To imdemnify you don't have to fill in any paper work as far as I can remember but just have a genuine reason/evidnce to show a company has used your direct debit details for something other than the riginal reason they had them, without your permission.

For example my ex called what was our joint car insurance and took out new card insurance by giving the company my name and letting them charge it uner my previous and continuing direct debit.

On the statement is it a card payment or a direct debit?

Original poster
GrinningGorilla · 23/09/2008 00:17

This was two card payments on the same date. I have had a look at the statement and put in the payment details to the search engine. Its a sex/dating/swingers site called "friendfinder" its nothing to do with friends re-united.
He'd better hope the bank says its fraud or he will wish he was bollockless

OP posts:
thumbwitch · 23/09/2008 00:34

sounds like he soon will be anyway, GG!
for your situation, hope you sort it out to your satisfaction.