My DH has just left us in a new house miles from anyone we know, how can I best support my kids, advice please

[elastamum]

We have just moved 150 miles away from our home of 10 years for my DH's work and I found out 2 weeks ago he was having an affair. He has since left us and says that he is not coming back. I am devastated, our kids started their new school this week and neither the kids or I have any friends in the area. What can I do to help them, they know their Dad is moving out but dont seem to have grasped why, should I just take them back to their old school or do we stay and try to make a new life near to where their dad will be living. Any one got any advice?

Great stuff elasta - you go girl

oh and as for fab and glam..........do join us on the fab and glam thread (new one just started called onward and upward) if you want to vent on a regular basis

Thanks LL I think I will do that, am feeling a little bit flat as have just put the phone down from an old friend who has spent the last hour going poor you, how awful, you must feel terrible etc etc, Well I do now My H came round to pick some stuff up and has gone out with a mate, lucky him, have no mates to go out with here and no one to look after the kids anyway. Think I will shove down my last drop of sherry and go to bed..

oh no well it is hard for friends to do/say the right thing. Would any of them be able to come up at the weekend and keep you company? One thing that helped me a lot was going to spend a weekend with a close friend, drinking wine and chatting by the fire.

Elastamum,

I've read your post. Just checking your ok. Stay strong for the most important people in your life, the kids. You're a credit to all women. Stick to your guns. Best of luck.

AT LAST!!!!! DH has finally signed the transfer deeds on this house so I can put it up for sale and try to get home. We went back to old friends for the weekend and both me and the kids were so happy. I even went to a party where everyone was so kind and understanding. And I had a laugh for the first time in ages It was heartbreaking to pack up and drive north on Sunday. I have decided that if I can sell the house or get a job we can afford to move and thats what we will do. I also went out this afternoon and bought a whole new power wardrobe so I can go out and look for a job. I sooo want to go home... Although it is beautiful up here I feel that if it wasnt for the kids I could just disapear and no one would notice I had gone, it is very lonely Just a couple of the mums at school know we are on our own but I get the feeling they think I must be slightly odd. No one ever calls here apart from old friends from home

Elastamum,

Glad to hear you are feeling a little better,laughter is definitely the best medicine. The trouble with the countryside is,it is secluded. From leaving school and going to college and then coming back to living in the countryside,I've found it really hard,if not impossible. Most of the friends I have originate from the years when I was at college/uni. Everything seems to move at a much slower pace,including making friends. It sounds to me like your heart is still very much placed where you used to live. I don't blame you,you need to go back. It's just frustrating for you to have to wait until all of formalities are sorted out. But they are just formalities, and once they are sorted, you'll be fine. Best of luck and keep postingXX

Hi All,

Still here and trying to get out and about and find a job. Not easy but there are a few bits around so keeping my fingers crossed

Not sure what to make of the latest on my DH. Yesterday I heard throguh a friend that he has been telling his close friends that our marriage has been drifting apart for years and that we have seperated amicably and there is no one else involved. I did wonder why I had been getting such a cool reception from some people we know who didnt seem to give a monkeys he had left. In particular his parents seem to have given me the cold shoulder. Should I tackle him on this? I dont want to break a friends confidence, she said she was amazed when she heard this, but I do feel agrrieved that he has reinvented the truth. Should I just let it go?

Hi Aw, Thanks for your comments. I have definate proof of OW and am filing for divorce (uncontested) on this basis although I have agreed not to name her as she is married to someone else!! I think he doesnt want to admit anyone else involved as it makes him look bad and also some people will know who she is. Unfortunatly the other scenario makes me look bonkers! I move myself and the kids 150 mile north away from all our friends to split with him weeks later by mutual agreement, I dont think so.. I have seen him tonight but I didnt bother tackling himon the lies as the sad thing is that I now dont expect anything better I will tackle the in laws at an appropriate time, as I suspect they got a wateed down version of the truth as they have never directly mentioned that he left us!

sorry for the spelling AM I have got through hnalf bottle of wine waiting for their return!