Will try spacing!
I think that just as we all have different personalities - though with overlap areas - the sexual personality must be the same - different for all of us. I once read that there are no two sets of ears the same?? Maybe not even a single ear! Hear, here!
Misogyny/Polygamy ? there must be many different reasons why people do this Porn thing.
It must be confusing though when there is too much desire from the partner to watch something voyeuristically that the other partner will not/cannot provide and also that the other partner does not identify with.
The male poster here - always a brave one and usually does not return to this forum of tigresses for fear of seeming ?less? manly and being eaten alive - ?what could women possibly see in it??.
Given the threat of threesomes and orgies - admittedly that cannot be provided safely, intimately and in a truly loving setting without serious threat to the ?coupling? process! Both men and women share this fantasy at a superficial level. But if there is too much of the lewd, vulgar or even misogynistic in what the man has viewed - surely this then says something about his sexual ?personality?.
?Sexual Compatibility? is something taken for granted maybe when we go into relationships?
Women are generally more romantic and erotic - another point - that men want to keep this in check since our whole body is an erogenous zone - and this is a threat to some - unlike theirs, mostly. And are we more the sexual predators than they are - forgetting love and given free reign? Erotica? Particularly not for the males where nothing happens until ?then? and then only for 60 seconds!
If you get on with your partner, share a similar sense of humour - and think all is well - and possibly have not examined the ?value sets? enough - and then ? wham, bam, thank you ma?am" appears in the Yahoo History - or worse - texts ?hello big boy, blah blah blah? or something dodgy on the phone bill, credit card etc ?
? it is not just that feeling of betrayal, being shut out of an important area that you thought you shared - which, of course, should not be owned totally but in all honestly both the man and the woman in a given relationship do like to think they can! - men get jealous too - also a certain degree of intimacy and fidelity is needed for a healthy sex life, I think and has then been lost - but also ? ?Do I really know him, did I ever??.
The use of pornography, what is viewed, why, how frequently ? is a part of the person - that person that you thought you knew, that you have made love to and have maybe had their children.
I think that homo sapiens has developed over the years a fairly good understanding about what ?love? is.
We may feel disillusioned, lose faith or confidence in Love - but then we get more cats or have more babies. We have art, poetry, history, music, film, nature and childhood ?innocence/freshness? to remind us and that we ?recognise love within?. Granted women sometimes chose men for their power and money - but in the main I think women don?t. Men who do not have this power, money or even sexual power may feel misogynistic towards the female species. The Princess is adored, the Prince is always rich - but then so is she ? hmmm? Was Cinderella - the main ?Princess,? actually a rich Princess in reality - I wondered about this the other day and could not remember.
?Love Compatibility?. Do we develop a concept of love from how we see it operating within our families - or is it independent of this? Sounding a bit like Carrie Bradshaw now!!
Women are closest, I think, when they have their young babies. We almost go back to the primeval state ourselves. Do some men do this sexually at the same time - spreading the seed thing? The crocodiles will babysit. The cave dwellers possibly shared their breast milk for those who had none. At that time we do not think about who has the biggest house or the best car or even the richest husband. Is this a time in itself that is threatening to men? The female bonding - that within this society he is not used to being challenged with?
Who is it that has actually produced and is driving this society? The men, the women ? is it a constant battle? Just as the Pipeline in Georgia is now so important. Most politicians are male and yet they say that ?being every great man is a great women??
It was the war - where the men were mostly sadly cannon fodder - that initiated ?womens lib?. We were needed - showed what we could do - and did not simply want to return to domestic slavery. Cinderella again. The portrayal of the female - Barbie Rapunzel - seems to me to be that of the ?housewife?! Still the unpaid labourer. The cost of childcare, housekeeper, shopper, cook would be about £1500 per month.
Sorry to digress.
I do think that all these rivulettes feed into the big river.
Unfortunately I think that the human sexuality element has been side-stepped mostly in dsicussions. The ?Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire? described how the army became lacadaisical. But there is also a secret museum - in Pompeii I think - that few have access to - that is absolutely full of pornographic imagery. Of bestiality, orgies etc. We know a bit about those orgies! It has been speculated that the opulence and excesses and sexual ?depravity? also led to the decline of Rome.
Mainstream films have historically portrayed little in the way of even erotica - and are still the same. I do not agree with this. 9 and a half weeks - so what? I think that the medium of film should show normal and good fun sexuality! Not making it some silly seed eaten in secret! Hardly fruit! Making sex easy work for somebody to make money out of! Erotica is something maybe more natural to a female - so where would a man learn about female sexuality then? Porn. Sad that it has now come to this. Single sex education does not help.
Most references to the problems with pornography - its harm or addiction factor, its destruction of intimacy and family life etc are found with reference to the Church. For a mostly non-religious society - this can sounds controlling and old-fashioned. Just ?Bible Bashing?.
What about all this teenage violence though? Girl gangs also. And groups of girls absolutely ?off their heads?, staggering around in Ibiza and catching Chlamydia? Do we want this future for our children? Are they finding love?