Dating website for married persons

[illicitaffair]

I received an email two weeks ago from a company called Illicit Encounters. It appears that someone who I know who has used the site has recommended that I would benefit from joining up

When I eventually put two and two together and realised that it was a friend who had recently started a new relationship with a married man, it started me wondering - yes it is wrong for too many reasons even to list but I imagine so exciting too.

Have obviously name changed for this and am expecting to be hung, drawn and quartered but would like others opinions anyway

i suppose though everyone at least knows what they are getting into

this does seem like an ad

there are loads of these sites

its not exact;ly news

also lots of married people using ordinary dating sites

i have been offered dates by at least three married men tho they didnt make it clear initially

at least using a dedicated site they arent confusing ordinary single people

off to bed now, just so you don't accuse me of running away lol

A friend of my parents is going through a tough time because his wife has developed a 'friendship' with another man. She has always sworn it's just platonic. However, he has just discovered her myspace page listingher as divorced, looking for dating and fridnship. On her 'friends' wall she has written some really dodgy stuff that can only mean she is having it away with him. PLus another friend of hers saw them at it on the sofa.
So it seems some people aren't even bothered about covering their tracks.

Wonder why women are always free to join... meat market.

Very exciting when you could possibly break some childrens hearts

i saw an ad for this recently - its bloody vile and really dangerous - whats to stop someones husband or wife finding out. honest to god it makes my stomach churn.

yes but back to the point I was making earlier... how has this guy become a millionaire from it? It must be more acceptable than we all think it is?

well I for one - once considered joining having found out about my own dp's dodgy behaviour - it all sounded so ideal - of course I woke up and smelt the coffee - but when you have not had sex for 5 years you may consider it !!!

I guess they may consider that they want a physical relationship with someone who won?t get too close and jeopardise their own relationship, hence shagging the married man because you don?t expect he will leave his wife and children for you, when you don?t want to leave your husband/children ? or if you?re single to be a little commitment phobic and not want the trappings of a full blown relationship ? or if you work long hours to not have to invest the clothed time in a relationship.

I?m not saying it?s right ? I?m speaking from the position of someone who?s partner left me and our three children for a woman who knew he was in a long term relationship and knew we had children ? but I can understand why some people might want to have sex without getting involved and to have sex with someone who isn?t ?free? can initially give the participants a sense of sexual relief with little emotional attachment. I think that emotional attachment develops in a lot of cases though, for one or both people and that it?s a bit fucked up to jeopardise your relationship with your original partner ? far better to talk about things and try and reach a resolution or separate amicably without someone else being involved to fuck around like a hormone led weakling.

erm no I wouldn't - that's why anne summers have the rabbits!

that's why theres plenty of single men - I wish some women had some damn morals other than to go seeking a married man out - like wise I wish some men could keep in in their trousers.

korma - all very well, except that male prostitute or man you pick up in a bar may well be another woman's husband- but are they going to admit that to you if you are offering yourself on a plate?

There must be more or less equal numbers of men and women joining, surely, or their business model would be flawed. Otherwise it would be 1000 men pursuing the same 100 women, or whatever. I imagine they make the female membership free to even it up.

Just imagining someone going on "Dragons' Den" with this now...

i know someone who used one of those and got very very hurt in the long run

It is unlikely anyone will come on to mumsnet recommending this sort of thing(least of all me) but yes, of course it works in some sort of way for some people.But those people are unlikely to shout about it.

There are a great many people trapped in unhappy relationships who seek to maintain their family unit but crave romantic excitement.

These sort of websites offer just that opportunity for consenting adults who want to cut throught the crap and be unfront about what they are after.

I am sure it ends in tears some of the time but not all of the time.

I saw the guy who created this dating site on breakfast telly a couple of years ago. He guy was a complete idiot, he really, truely believed that having an affair enhanced marriages and everyone ended up happier in the long run

I know someone who is married and is dating a married man. She isn't the 'type' iykwim and has been married and faithful for 20 years before embarking on this affair. I frowned on her for a long time when i first found out and was quite open about the fact that i thought she was disgustingly selfish. One day she told me that her husband took no interest in her, went out 5 nights a week, and dispite her trying to make the marriage work, he never changed but was a good provider and father.
The man she is having an affair with is kind and sensitive, generous and makes her happy and allows her to have a life. She said that she can face her life with her husband because of this other man. Her affair means that she doesn't have to disrupt the children or her like if she were to get divorced.

I still don't agree with what she is doing but I have a better understanding of it.
Her affair gives her something he marriage can't.

With regards to the OP saying this sort of site is 'exciting', I think it is human nature to be excited by doing something a bit naughty and sexy but i doubt the bigger picture is exciting at all

korma - it is only wrong if the husband's wives actually mind!

There may well be some women who are actually relieved that their husbands seek sex elsewhere, but carry on living with them and keeping a roof over their heads in some cases.

I think "live and let live" is th best philosophy...there may be all kinds of circumstances where one party is happy to turn a blind eye to their partners pecadillos- just think of Jane Clark, wife of Alan, if you remember them- he had numerous affairs and she knew of them all, but allowed him to do so and always took him back.

The moral you apply to your own life are not necessarily prescribed to by everyone.

good points girlnextdoor .

Just thinking how gutted I would feel if my DH ever considered something like that and worse still, did it and i never found out.

I wonder how many of those poor wives (and husbands) never have a clue?

I once read the profiles of those sites- it was written about in The Times last year, and I was curious enough to look. IF what they say is to believed, many of them say they are not wanting to break up a marriage, they love their partners, but they want sex and a bit of romance.

Now I know that this is not what everyone will agree with, but part of me thinks that it is better to be upfront and say that, than meet a man/woman and get emotionally involved, and cause all kinds of upsets.

My own feelings are that it is very hard to separate out emotions and sex, but some women and most men, can do so. So they may be deluding themselves, BUT we have got to stop judging others by what would work or not work for us-in some instances, this might work, for some people, for some of the time.

if they are to be believed is the crucial bit

most people will always bias the situation to favour them i think, i doubt many would admit they were just doing it because they think they can get away with it

sorting out those who are truthful and not is the hard part

god, everytime i think my life is pretty sad, i read something that reminds me that there is the brink of pathetic and then there is the abyss.

and anyone pitiful enough to join a site like that just pitched themselves off that metaphorical cliff.

if you need that to make things exciting, i don't know that there's any help out there for ya, tbh.

yeah, dead exciting, shag round behind your poor unsuspecting husbands back, thrilling, ooooo think of all the hurt and pain you could cause your family, adds mor excitement does it