Apparently i'm not entitled to a break from the kids, because i'm their mother and thats my job

[nutcracker]

That is according to dp, who also seems to think that i can't get tired or to the point of wishing i'd never had any kids.

All because i don't go to work, so how difficult can my life possibly be.

Sorry, but it sounds an awful way to live when you have to pretend to be ill in order for your partner to do something.

In that case, go out for the day.

TBH Nutcracker, if he's treating you like this skivvy, what does that say about his level of respect and love for you?

Don't you deserve better?

oh nutcracker - that's sound horrible. I don't know how you cope (haven't read any other replies just your first post). I couldn't cope it I didn't have 'me' time and even as mother we still 'qualify' for it!!!

Oh i know he doesn't respect me, figured that out years ago.

TBH i'd rather take the kids out for the day on me own than leave them with him, he would just moan at them all day.

Yes, come to think of it, it is pretty horrible to pretend to be ill to get some time off. What would happen, Nutcracker, if you said "i'm not cooking tonight, don't feel up to it" and left the kitchen?

You'd be better off alone wouldn't you? One less person to look after and listen to moaning.

We wouldn't eat.

Message withdrawn

Yep WWW I would.

Nutcracker - I know I have said this before and it's easy for me sitting here to say. I have "known" you on musmnet for about a year now and you have never been happy.
You are such a lovely person and deserve better IMO. Never settle for 2nd best and remember you only live once.

what about you just seeing to the kids. Dont do his laundry, food etc.

oh rickman! how terrible...

He is a very selfish and childish person and always has been.

If we try and discuss anything, we get so far and then if i ask him something he doesn't want to answer he says "i don't have to answer that, i don't have to do anything i don't want to".

Rickmean - what a ba$t8rd
WTF was wrong with him????

Nutcracker is there any part of you that loves or has feelings for him?

That is awful rickman, can see why you left.

Hercules , i have tried that before but because it causes such an atmosphere i stop for the kids sake and end up doing it all again.

Must go & look after dd... she's moaning at me! Will check in later.

Are you only with him because of being financially dependent on him Nutcracker?

Thats a hard question to answer BH. No i don't think i love him anymore, don't think i have for ages.

I have asked him to leave before now and he has talked me round. The kids reactions worry me greatly as i know he wouldn't give a toss when or how often he saw them if he left and that would destroy them, especially Dd1.

I think he does love me, but i also know that however bad the relationship got he would never ever want it to end cos he doesn't want to be on his own again.

Erm yes Caligula

If he is'nt willing to change then you have a choice. Either accept he is that way and live with it or leave.

That's no way to live Nutty. Yes, it would be awful for the kids but you are entitled to a happy life. I dont think that's a good enough reason to stay with him.

Really speaking out of turn but if that's his attitude he doesn't deserve any of you.
If I split with dh he'd be at my door morning, noon and night to see his kids. They are his (and my) life!

If you are staying for the kids then they will eventually sense it from you.

We have always agreed that if we split up DH would have the kids and I would have unlimited access. He would make a far better single parent than I ever would and we both know it.