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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

traded in for a 20 year old !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

109 replies

theboob · 05/08/2008 13:27

my dh and i were having a few problems,but had decided to work through them,he went to work on thursday night and never came back.......... he said he's been staying with a friend but after a b of digging i found out he was lying,he admited he has slept with someone and then took it back,but will not tell me where he is,i asked if it was this girl he says not,but i know her address and when i said i would go round to check he got all jumpy and said whats the point ,its none of my buisness,he works with her in the bar
so know im left heartbroken and crying while he is having the time of his life with fresh meat
i cant eat,or stop crying im a horrible mess and cant seem to pull myself together
has anyone else been through this and does it get better ?????????

OP posts:

Alexa808 · 07/08/2008 12:18

Hey B, so sorry to hear what's been going on yesterday.

Have you seen the bank? CAB? Lodge a complaint online with the police, you'll just get an email with a reference number and that's it. At least it's logged. You don't want the slunt to come anywhere near your dc.

You ought to see a solicitor hun. As sad and hard as it is. You have to protect yourself and your kids!!

Trust me, once the novelty of a new partner has worn off he'll see what a mistake he's made. When the kids grow up and remember how he's let them down to nail someone else and get drunk, they'll edge away from him. Then he'll be hurt, he'll be the one crying, not your dd. When no cards come for him and calls are not being returned, then he'll realize his error and the true cost of that 'fun time'.

It's a long way for you, I hope you'll get all the support you need. But you will be the one that stands tall and will find love again. Believe it, it will happen. So dust yourself off and get legal advice to protect your dc's future.

Why did MIL not come? Boy, if I was this bloke's mum he'd get such a slap, it's not funny.

ConstanceWearing · 07/08/2008 19:08

TB, why is he talking to you about something his girlfriend wrote, and his friends told him off about.

It has nothing to do with you. Tell him to either talk to OW about it, or your joint friends, but as you are not to blame for either the message or your friends reaction to the message, refuse to get into a conversation (and get a telling off for) about something that is not your fault, ok? Bastard arse. Grrrr. ((()))

MegSophandEmma · 07/08/2008 19:12

Sorry hun just seen this obviously I know whats going on

"i have seen a photo and she is everything i used to be before we had childeren and now he has everything and im left broken and alone" Babe you know thats a load of crap!! I too have seen the pic and comments. You are beautiful vibrant and a gorgeous mummy Remeber when we talked last time and I told you you would get through it Well I mean it. It may not feel like it now but you will and the kids will be ok.

As soon as sophie is over her UTI I will come and see you if you want.

Vian · 09/08/2008 11:12

How are you doing? I hope you are as okay as you can be..

Original poster

theboob · 10/08/2008 08:32

well,i went out thursday horrible night ,i sat miserable all night ,when i got home he had text me saying he wanted to come home we spoke the next day and tried to reslove things......he said he did not even like this girl and it was just somewhere to stay,i agreed for him to come home if anything to get him away from her,they are still working together and the thought of this made me sick so i went out again on friday ,really late more so to see her,i dont know why,i spoke to her and she said she thought we were split up and never knew anything else,not sure if i belive her,she said she would never go near him again and she did have morals,she just wanted my friends to ly off her,me and dh seem to be ok ,but i cant relax while she works with him,my bf partner owns the bar and she has had a word with him and she is going to lose her job,i feel a litttle guilty for this but he does not think its a good idea she works there as now everybody hates her
i hope what im doing is right,its all a bit strage and he is adament we were split up still although i do not,the only thing that scares me now is an affair starting ,but m mind is running away with itself at the moment

OP posts:

Original poster

theboob · 10/08/2008 08:34

thanks meg,its all really strange at the mo,are you coming to results on the 21st and a drink ???

OP posts:

chelsygirl · 10/08/2008 08:44

take your time with him and be very cautious, trust your instincts not his lies

MegSophandEmma · 10/08/2008 11:14

Awww hun you will get it sorted but you must take care of you and the little ones first and think really hard before making any decisions RE DH.

No am going to get them posted. Couldn't bare the humiliation lololol

raggety · 10/08/2008 17:40

I would be very cautious.

That story doesn't add up. It sounds as though he has used her to give you a wake-up-call about your marriage (he wasn't getting his own way and maybe you weren't listening) and he may have told her lots of lies. One day it's over, there is no way back. A few days later, he wants to try again. Immature nonsense.

She does not sound like a nice person but it seems she will pay for her mistake in trusting him as she is going to lose her job.

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