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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

HELP husband decided no longer loves me!

118 replies

Sharon1972 · 04/02/2005 11:29

Seriously in need of some support and advice, dh has decided after 12 years of marriage and 2 children (aged 1 and 3) that he no longer loves me,but won't move out! am devastated, never knew it was possible to love and hate someone so much, any advice on things I should be doing to protect my rights would be appreciated.(sad)

OP posts:
shari1972 · 04/02/2005 21:31

He has been sleeping in another room for amonth now, I don't cook for him, it's only the odd bit of washing honest!!

Dior · 04/02/2005 21:33

Message withdrawn

shari1972 · 04/02/2005 21:36

I wish I could get angry all I feel is sad and that's not helping anything. I can't wait for this mediation to start at least I'll be doing something constructive

Original poster
Sharon1972 · 05/02/2005 09:04

He's finally admited we will have to sell the house....YIPEE!

OP posts:
lapsedgymjunkie · 05/02/2005 09:15

Did he arrive at this on his own or is Bus stop lady, pulling his strings ???

charleypops · 05/02/2005 10:10

What a horrible situation sharon1972. You know, he could be having an affair with this woman, and just not telling you because he's anticipating a divorce and he knows the court would probably look at you more favourably when it comes to a settlement if he's an adulterer. Best of luck with everything x

Original poster
Sharon1972 · 05/02/2005 10:37

I don't know why, but I'm glad he has just got to get this mediation under way now

OP posts:
pinkmama · 05/02/2005 10:44

Hi, just seen this threa, and wanted to say so sorry for your situation, you must be very sad, and it must be hard. Your anger will come, I am sure, and with it strength. I really feel for you, good luck.

stitch · 05/02/2005 10:56

hi
im so sorry you are having to go through this. i think its all about control. men love having it over women. and if you let him, he will try to do it for the rest of your life. any tiny bit of conttrol he can get, he will.
dont let him. good luck...

jumpingbean · 05/02/2005 11:10

I really feel for you and the children.Let the 'bus stop' lady do his washing...in fact why not save it up in a black bag and leave it on her doorstep...see how keen she is then.Is there any chance of you getting out for the night ? let him have the kids..

Original poster
Sharon1972 · 05/02/2005 11:54

I did get out the other night with a couple of friends for my birthday it was lovely, but kids were already in bed and didn't wake up at all (damn)

OP posts:
Original poster
Sharon1972 · 05/02/2005 11:55

I'll be fair I'm really not convinced there is anything going on with bus stop lady so I can't be too mad with her

OP posts:
AEROBICS · 05/02/2005 12:39

good to hear you are getting out of an evening. go out as much as possible and have a few drinks and chill. you deserve it. let your hair down1

aerobics · 05/02/2005 13:47

Try to get your dh to have kids as much as you want so you can have time to yourself. i found that so valuable when you are coping with them on your own. i looked forward to my ex dh having kids for weekend and couldnt wait to get out on girls nite and burn the candle. that to me was my saviour. he only has them(my two teenagers)about once every three weeks, even then they sometimes dont want to go. leaving them gets easier as they get older.

Merlot · 05/02/2005 13:55

on your behalf Sharon1972!

What makes me see red on this and other situations like yours is that your dh decides his had enough but has the audacity to suggest that you uproot the kids and move out!

Havent read all the other posts, but feel for you and hope things go the way you want them to

Lucycat · 06/02/2005 21:13

How are you sharon? did you have a good weekend? Have just been to visit my friend and she's tons better at the moment, even though dh insists on visiting every day to see the boys!! He was also there when we went round so it was a bit awkward to chat. Is your dh still there? thinking of you today.

irishbird · 07/02/2005 00:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Sharon1972 · 07/02/2005 09:30

Actually I had a REALLY good weekend,I left the kids with dh and went out for the afternoon and saw a film with a good friend, came home relaxed and serene to the smell of baking in the house as dh had baked me a birthday cake with dd 1. Sadly nothing has changed relationship wise but managed to talk really well last night.Mediation thursday am so we'll have to see

OP posts:
jumpingbean · 07/02/2005 10:50

Glad to hear you had a good weekend,you sound alot more positive today.Good luck for thurs.Hope it goes ok for you.x.

Dior · 09/02/2005 20:21

Message withdrawn

Lucycat · 15/02/2005 13:31

Sharon, how did last week go? we are here if you want to sound off.

Original poster
Sharon1972 · 16/02/2005 12:44

Well, mediation was a bit of a let down as the first one was only a informal chat about what will happen in future appointments, next one is 10th March we have load of bumph to fill in, surprisingly dh has filled most of his in so far, we have had valuations on house in view to selling, but he still won't give the go ahead! Tonight I am going to insist we put house up for sale and start divorce proceedings-I have to gain some control back in my life and this is the best way for me to do that.

OP posts:
Lucycat · 16/02/2005 14:28

You sound a lot more positive about things - well done! How do you think he will respond to selling the house? and the mention of divorce thrown into the mix may well shock him. Good luck, we're thinking of you, let us know how you get on.

Original poster
Sharon1972 · 18/02/2005 12:56

Hi there, house is now on the market and have 2 people looking at it, so fingers crossed

OP posts:
Dior · 18/02/2005 18:32

Message withdrawn

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