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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

HELP husband decided no longer loves me!

118 replies

Sharon1972 · 04/02/2005 11:29

Seriously in need of some support and advice, dh has decided after 12 years of marriage and 2 children (aged 1 and 3) that he no longer loves me,but won't move out! am devastated, never knew it was possible to love and hate someone so much, any advice on things I should be doing to protect my rights would be appreciated.(sad)

OP posts:
Lucycat · 04/02/2005 14:15

b*llocks to mrs bus stop not being the main issue - SOMETHING has spurred him on to make his decision, The cheapest option for him to get out is for him to rent a room in a shared house (as my friend's dh is doing - much to his disgust, he hated sharing a house when we were all students many years ago!).

kazza3 · 04/02/2005 14:15

so wot was she doing round yours in the new year ?

AEROBICS · 04/02/2005 14:16

if he has no friends then he is a sad loser then. doesnt sound like a nice guy if he has no mates. whats he like normally, in the good old days when you were getting on? was he nice to you?

irishbird · 04/02/2005 15:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

aloha · 04/02/2005 15:09

I am also v sceptical about his account of his relationship with Mrs Bus Stop. She was round at yours at NY Eve acting oddly, he suddenly wants you to move out and her to move in....sorry but I think he's up to no good with her.
Stay put, make it clear at mediation and at home that you want him OUT - he can see the kids, sure, but what kind of tosser expects his poor kids to end up in a b&b with their mother so he can stay in his nice home with his fancy bit? Beyond belief, it really is. He needs a nice, sharp wakeup call.

winnie · 04/02/2005 15:18

Sharon, please do not move out, even if you are on the housing list you will be seen as having intentionally made yourself homeless and they will not have a duty to house you.

I am so sorry you are going through this. Mid life crisis or not, he is being cruel and utterly selfish.

Wishing you lots of strength to get through this.

Original poster
Sharon1972 · 04/02/2005 15:48

Kazza, he just invited her round, I thought we were going to have a nice quiet one like we usually do and suddenly he invites her, her husband, daughter and 2 neighbours, none of whch i KNEW

OP posts:
Original poster
Sharon1972 · 04/02/2005 15:50

Aerobics- he was the most kind and caring person you could ever wish to meet, I thought he would never hurt me and that we would be together forever, we only moved into our "dream" house a little over a year ago.

OP posts:
kazza3 · 04/02/2005 15:52

Is he having other problems eg. work or money because those sort of stresses can change a person

Original poster
Sharon1972 · 04/02/2005 15:55

He started a new job about 5 months ago and thst's when I personnally noticed a change, but he says it had nothing to do with that. it seems like there's sooooooo many reasons he can come up with which all sound minor but if you add them together they're not

OP posts:
kazza3 · 04/02/2005 15:56

What sort of work does he do is it stressful???

Original poster
Sharon1972 · 04/02/2005 16:20

He's in charge of a team of computer system technicians working for banks councils etc so yes very stressfull, on call 24/7

OP posts:
pixiefish · 04/02/2005 16:29

oh sharon- what a bugger of a situation. As everyone else has said- don't move out till you've seen a solicitor and taken legal advice. hugs to you in the meantime

kazza3 · 04/02/2005 17:57

Is this a complete surprise for you or looking back could you see this coming ???

coppertop · 04/02/2005 18:02

If there's not enough money for him to be able to rent a place then how exactly does he think you'll be able to afford to rent somewhere for you and the children??? Does he expect you to live on benefits while he carries on with his cosy job in your cosy house with another woman?

kazza3 · 04/02/2005 18:05

What time is he coming home or has he come home already ???

shari1972 · 04/02/2005 20:52

He's out tonight with bus stop lady!!!

Dior · 04/02/2005 20:56

Message withdrawn

shari1972 · 04/02/2005 20:57

I just feel like I've been wrung out and then left out to dry

shari1972 · 04/02/2005 20:58

Hi, Dior Good to hear from you, You're not going to like this but I've just done some more!! (blush)

Dior · 04/02/2005 21:10

Message withdrawn

shari1972 · 04/02/2005 21:23

I need serious help, I don't know what I'm doing anymore, feel so low, I think I'm gonna up my pills again

Dior · 04/02/2005 21:26

Message withdrawn

AEROBICS · 04/02/2005 21:30

please dont be a complete doormat. dont wash his smelly clothes. tell him he now has to wash them himself. stand firm and dont do any of his cooking(dont even give him left overs unless they are on his lap upsidedown), make him sleep in another room.

shari1972 · 04/02/2005 21:30

No, never seem to be able to get there without the kids