If your partner says 'punching above my weight' or 'out of my league'

[Ohidontknowblahblah]

Just curious to know how it makes you feel, do you agree with the statement and what do you think it says about them. Or if other people have said it to you.

My husband says this about me and when we're at the gym together he thinks people are probably thinking "what's she doing with him", (which I said was silly). I think we're equal looks wise and he has teeth missing due to an accident and he has the most beautiful eyes, but I fell for his beautiful personality and how gentle & kind he is. I always tell him how attractive I think he is but he's so embarrassed about his teeth. I big him up all the time.

No I didn't understand you perfectly well the first time.

Why have you edited your post since?

Mine says it and I don’t really like it as it feels like it is boiling things down to looks only, putting too much emphasis on the physical (and I don’t really think it’s true). We are both around 50 and I’d rather focus on other stuff than looks 🤷🏻‍♀️.

I feel a bit like this too. He's always telling me I'm beautiful and pretty which is lovely and I'm not insecure enough to not believe it, but I think would you be with me if I wasn't quite as much? Of course he equally says how funny, kind and caring I am too.

Agree with others that if your husband feels bad about his teeth, definitely look into what can be done about it with a good dentist. He’ll feel so much better in himself

Not sure if it’s mean, but you’re right that it’s usually only said to men and not women, though both men and women have said it to my dh. I am more conventionally attractive than him plus I’m 7 years younger. When they say it he shows them his massive biceps and says these and my personality is why she’s with me 😜 that’s true, plus he’s kind, loyal and loving. Everybody brings something to the table.

Love it! You're right about the women thing too.

Yes my DH has said it, and others have too. I don't think much of it, I think it's just a common thing men say to each other. It's probably a compliment to both of us, men usually aspire to have a good looking partner, especially when they're young.

You probably wouldn't be together if he didn't view you as good looking when you met. Obviously as love grows the looks matter less than the rest but for the majority of people it is physical attraction that draws them together in the first place.

Agreed 👋

Of course! 😀Can you tell I'm an overthinker?

God almighty…. I’d find that level of obsequiousness fairly nauseating, tbh. It seems to please you, though, so 🤷‍♀️

He is insecure about how he looks. I would just tell him that he's perfect just as he is.

I do, he really is perfect.

Shall I answer the question you actually asked, or the one I presume you meant?

“Why have you edited your post since?”
I haven’t.

“Why, have you edited your post?”
No.

Hope that clears things up. 😂

I find the whole “out of my league” or any “league” or “She’s easily a 7. Why is she with him? He’s a 3 at best” ways of rating people very shallow and immature. I never look at people and assign them arbitrary numbers or leagues. It’s just stupid.

Regarding your husband, you are free to tell him that it bothers you when he does this. Tell him also that he has no reason to defend or explain your relationship to anyone. And since it upsets you, would he please not do it anymore. You love him, you think he’s handsome, and that’s that.

A lot of men see the looks of their girlfriend/wife as a status symbol, like a fancy car or whatever. If he was raised in a culture of this there may be a lot of language around it that he has just never questioned or assessed the underlying connotations. Sounds like he is lovely and not the sort of guy who sees a woman, not as an object so you don't have to worry. He is just smitten with you and clumsily saying it.

My DH had a tooth injury, to his front incisor. I didn't mind but it had a huge impact on his self esteem. To the point that I found out he wasn't eating with his work colleagues until it got fixed. In the mean time he had something that i think was called a "suck down" that was a fairly cheap temporary measure looks wise, except he couldn't eat.

People tell my DP he is “punching”. It’s a silly man way of saying “your partner is attractive”.

Clearly he doesn’t care that you find him attractive he wants other people to think he’s attractive

If you’re present at the time, you could (if you wanted) remark after he says this, “Don’t believe him. He’s fantastic in bed!”

Just ignore it OP: it's just being polite.

Men tend not to say things like "Oh, she looks absolutely lovely." Too saccharine. Instead they like to throw in a dig at their mate.

It doesn't mean anything, I think you are taking it all a bit too seriously, and your DP is a bit insecure not to realise this.

Personally, I think it is a foul expression, which implies some sort of objective market value for people.

It is really immature. And uncouth.

So rude!

Why can’t you cancel your gym memberships and get him some teeth with the money saved? I’d rather have teeth than a fit bod.

It’s completely meaningless male conversational filler, like moaning about Chelsea’s defence or whatever.

Who is doing the punching?