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Younger guy at work - go for it or avoid?

112 replies

Marshmallow444 · 18/10/2026 19:35

I’m 35. I have a (probably very inappropriate) crush on a guy at work who is only 21. Aside from the age difference, I am senior to him, though I am self employed and we hire staff (kind of like an agency set up). He is part of our staff and works for me / others though I am not his ‘manager’ if that makes sense. Helps organise my clients and diary etc. Not in charge of my fees or anything like that if it makes a difference.
The feeling is mutual. Last time we were at a work drinks he made it very clear he was interested. People have noticed the chemistry between us.
I think I could trust him to be discreet (don’t want to be the subject of gossip) but I think the temptation to talk might get the better of him. As a male friend said to me yesterday, sleeping with me would be the kind of thing men would want to brag about 🤦🏻‍♀️ which I think was meant as a compliment but concerns me slightly!
I rarely see him ‘at work’ as I work remotely / at different locations. Mainly see him at social events.
Is it a bad idea to explore this further? I do really like him. We really get on and whilst it probably won’t be a super serious long term thing because of the age difference, it would be nice to have a relationship that’s light and easy. Not into anything super casual. He is very protective over me and looks after me.
Go for it or leave well alone?

OP posts:
Casualuser · 18/10/2026 19:39

No your way out of line.

Needacalminginfluence · 18/10/2026 19:39

Of course it's a bad idea OP.
What is it with people who can't keep their hands off colleagues at work? Especially those in senior positions letching over junior colleagues.

Rosesanddaffs · 18/10/2026 19:41

This will end in tears for you, as his senior in every respect, you should steer well clear.

Marshmallow444 · 18/10/2026 19:42

Needacalminginfluence · 18/10/2026 19:39

Of course it's a bad idea OP.
What is it with people who can't keep their hands off colleagues at work? Especially those in senior positions letching over junior colleagues.

Edited

Hardly ‘letching’ over him - it’s him who has been extremely forward with me up until now.

OP posts:
PoppieCock · 18/10/2026 19:44

Lol, every single day there’s a thread like this now.

Still, at least they’re leaving dog owners alone.

Needacalminginfluence · 18/10/2026 19:45

Marshmallow444 · 18/10/2026 19:42

Hardly ‘letching’ over him - it’s him who has been extremely forward with me up until now.

Well if he is being forward he doesn't have much respect for you or your seniority doesn't he?
You could get yourself in real hot water with this guy.

whyohwhyohwhyohwhyohwhyohwhy · 18/10/2026 19:47

Why so many similar posts lately?

Snickersnotomato · 18/10/2026 19:48

Rachel Karen Green, is that you?

Agatha1989 · 18/10/2026 19:49

Oh for goodness sake leave him alone. He probably sees you as a mother figure not a potential lover.

HappiestSleeping · 18/10/2026 19:50

PoppieCock · 18/10/2026 19:44

Lol, every single day there’s a thread like this now.

Still, at least they’re leaving dog owners alone.

Still, at least they’re leaving dog owners alone

Maybe the OP is hankering for a different type of puppy?

Marshmallow444 · 18/10/2026 19:53

Agatha1989 · 18/10/2026 19:49

Oh for goodness sake leave him alone. He probably sees you as a mother figure not a potential lover.

I highly doubt that given he spent the last evening out telling me how attracted he was to me and how beautiful I was.
I am warm with him but I haven’t been remotely inappropriate. We’ve had a little joke and a flirt. Hardly predacious.

OP posts:
Slobberchops1 · 18/10/2026 19:54

You will probably find a 21 year old immature , useless in bed and annoying. Which will
make work awkward when you inevitably dump him .

PresidentMacron · 18/10/2026 19:59

Ça ma va... Vive la différence!

TheWayOfTheWorld · 18/10/2026 20:03

Marshmallow444 · 18/10/2026 19:53

I highly doubt that given he spent the last evening out telling me how attracted he was to me and how beautiful I was.
I am warm with him but I haven’t been remotely inappropriate. We’ve had a little joke and a flirt. Hardly predacious.

I was you about 10 years ago - similar age gap, although both a bit older. I posted something similar to this, of course it had to be genuine - why otherwise would he be doing/saying x, y, z?

Posters on here quite rightly handed my arse to me and were quite right, it was all a bit of game/power play. I cringe looking back at it.

Don’t do it.

PoppieCock · 18/10/2026 20:07

Agatha1989 · 18/10/2026 19:49

Oh for goodness sake leave him alone. He probably sees you as a mother figure not a potential lover.

I was just thinking if the OP was two years older she could be his mum.

Starlia · 18/10/2026 20:19

Of course it’s a bad idea. You’re his boss, there is an unequal power dynamic there. No matter how discreet you think you’re being, everyone will know. There will be perceptions of favouritism, especially when he asks you for a pay rise in bed. You could lose great employees who rightly perceive the situation as exploitative. In my country at least, you open yourself up to workplace claims that could cost you a fortune.
When I was 21 my friends and I used to flirt with the bosses all the time. We would laugh for days about the ones who seriously thought they had a chance with us.
Time to wise up and grow up, OP.

thebrowncatisback · 18/10/2026 20:24

21 is ridiculously young

five years ago he was a school boy and you were 30

eurgh

Marshmallow444 · 18/10/2026 20:24

Starlia · 18/10/2026 20:19

Of course it’s a bad idea. You’re his boss, there is an unequal power dynamic there. No matter how discreet you think you’re being, everyone will know. There will be perceptions of favouritism, especially when he asks you for a pay rise in bed. You could lose great employees who rightly perceive the situation as exploitative. In my country at least, you open yourself up to workplace claims that could cost you a fortune.
When I was 21 my friends and I used to flirt with the bosses all the time. We would laugh for days about the ones who seriously thought they had a chance with us.
Time to wise up and grow up, OP.

I’m not his boss, I have zero influence over his career or pay. I’m self employed.
he has been pursuing me if anything and I haven’t overtly reciprocated.
so much contempt and vitriol it’s crazy.

OP posts:
vodkaredbullgirl · 18/10/2026 20:25

PoppieCock · 18/10/2026 19:44

Lol, every single day there’s a thread like this now.

Still, at least they’re leaving dog owners alone.

Yep 😆

TheWayOfTheWorld · 18/10/2026 20:27

Marshmallow444 · 18/10/2026 20:24

I’m not his boss, I have zero influence over his career or pay. I’m self employed.
he has been pursuing me if anything and I haven’t overtly reciprocated.
so much contempt and vitriol it’s crazy.

Because a lot of us have been there and got the t-shirt. Why bother asking for opinions if you’re going to ignore everyone, you’ve clearly made your mind up. So good luck.

Marshmallow444 · 18/10/2026 20:29

TheWayOfTheWorld · 18/10/2026 20:27

Because a lot of us have been there and got the t-shirt. Why bother asking for opinions if you’re going to ignore everyone, you’ve clearly made your mind up. So good luck.

Advice is different from people just being horrible 😂

OP posts:
PoppieCock · 18/10/2026 20:30

thebrowncatisback · 18/10/2026 20:24

21 is ridiculously young

five years ago he was a school boy and you were 30

eurgh

He would’ve been at school just 3 years ago.

thebrowncatisback · 18/10/2026 20:30

Why were you out with him on a Saturday night?

Jollygollygosh · 18/10/2026 20:32

Marshmallow444 · 18/10/2026 20:24

I’m not his boss, I have zero influence over his career or pay. I’m self employed.
he has been pursuing me if anything and I haven’t overtly reciprocated.
so much contempt and vitriol it’s crazy.

Oh come on he’s basically a walking hard on. Don’t do it.

SnapAndTap · 18/10/2026 20:33

Im writing this as someone who married a guy i met at work.
I wouldnt do it - youve admitted its likely to be a short term thing - which leave you both dealing with any outfall. And, whoever is doing the chasing, you as the more senior and older are going to get the flack for it
With in a few months of starting dating, both of us were looking for a new job, as we knew we needed to separate work & home.