I've started having sex with my new boyfriend. It has been a little awkward as he does have ED and he didn't mention it, which I can understand. I'm 55, he's 59. We're both in fairly good physical nick for our age I suppose. He has a job in construction and I also have a job that means I'm on my feet for most of the day.
We've been together since around the end of April and took a lot of time to get to know each other. Work is demanding for both of us and very often I notice he is just too tired to even be interested in sex and we have only managed to have penetrative sex once and it wasn't great.
It's a couple of things that he said that have upset me. After seeing me naked a fair few times, we were in bed once and he said "You have great breasts for a woman your age". I just thought why even say "for your age". I supposed they're not entirely pointing southwards just yet and still pretty good, but it felt like one of those half compliments.
Quite early on when we first met, he said "When you walked into the cafe, I thought you were much younger. But then when you got up close I thought no, she might be in her late forties". So again, like a half compliment. Why say it like that? He could have just said, oh, you look younger than you are and leave it at that.
Then very recently I was talking about needing to lose a bit of weight. It's only maybe half a stone around my middle aged spread really. He also needs to lose a bit around there. I mentioned it to him, about eating healthier and he said "You need to lose a couple of stone". I currently weigh 10.10 and I'm 5' 8".
Is this negging? Have I overlooked negging early on?
There are other red flags. I know for a fact that he's masturbating a lot when I'm not there. He forgets to put his used tissues in the bin... I know, gross... and sometimes they're in the bed when I get in. That's another thing that's really bugging me. So since April, he has had two erections when with me, one sort of worked, the other disappeared.
And I can see him openly appreciating other women when we are out together. Sometimes he even comments on how attractive they are. Then we get home and he falls asleep.
I am a very sexual person and I don't think I can go on like this.