Is it a dealbreaker if a new guy doesn’t go down on you?

[TheNotSohill]

For a bit of context I met a guy on hinge a couple months ago and we have started being exclusive. Things are going really well but in the bedroom he doesn’t want to go down on me for some reason. I didn’t want to ask why because I do like him but oral is really important to me and the fact he’s not willing to do it is causing me with a bit of a dilemma. What do you think I should do?

Thats not my opinion, im a woman. You asked me what reasons they gave, some people are brought up being taught it’s nasty and that’s the reasons they gave to me as to why they don’t go own (on anyone)

I dated a guy I really liked back in the 90s. Until it turned out he hated sex! I tried to do without, but when you're dating, come on.

Totally up to him what he wanted to do but I wish he'd told me earlier. People aren't mind readers. I wasn't and neither is your boyfriend.

Another RUDE poster! Why? Did you enjoy getting a dig in?

Or: Are you a man?

If that's your opinion why are you asking if it's okay to dump someone who isn't into it?

That's exactly what I'm thinking. Someone who wants to talk about it lots.

Tell him your last partner was amazing with his tongue.

Quantify "lots" and list your sources.

Are you agreeing with my that most women enjoy it?

Starting to sound like the leggings and fingering in wetherspoons weirdo bloke who posts all the time

Ha I haven't heard it that particular weirdo but I definitely think OP is a man. FFS

There have been many times I haven't wanted it. It's just SO intimate, more so than PIV, for me. It can make me feel very exposed. Also I haven't been with anyone who's been really good at it, tbh.

Easy. You've said elsewhere in this thread that you go down on him. Well, after you do so next time, say MY TURN NOW and direct his head downwards. He'll get the hint and will either proceed or won't. You'll have your answer

Yes it would be a deal breaker for me. However he is allowed to have things he doesn't like doing in the bedroom. It sounds like you're not sexually compatible.

Let's stop encouraging the perv

Then accept he doesn't like going down on you. You can't force him. If he doesn't like it you need to accept it or dump him.

Ladies you're talking to a man who is getting off on this conversation.. Why are you engaging with him? Don't encourage him.

I’m kind of doubting this is real. Too many follow up questions, and repetitive.

But you've done the equivalent for him. How did he let you know he wanted it? Or was it something you initiated?

The next time you give him oral, can't you just say "My turn!" and smile? You'd be letting him know you want it without feeling uncomfortable. Either he plays fair, or let's you know it's off the table. If that happens I would definitely ask why he doesn't want to reciprocate.

I think if you break up without asking, you'll second guess yourself. If you use "It's my turn!" and he still doesn't step up, if he's still not a generous lover, you'll know you aren't really sexually compatible, that you gave him a chance, and that you shouldn't feel bad about ending things.

How rude! @TheNotSohill has a legitimate problem that she wants help with. Do you think your comment was helpful, or did you just enjoy taunting her? 🙄

Just ask him about it, and if he doesn’t want to do it then you can’t make him. Decide if you NEED or WANT it, if it is the former then end it, if it is the latter then you need to work out whether it’s worth going without or not.

OP is a man getting off on chatting about this subject. Don't encourage them.

Why would you think that? If the tables were turned and you didn’t like giving oral, would you be okay with him just assuming you would just do it because he likes it?

He doesn’t owe you oral or an explanation for not doing it. If it’s a dealbreaker for you, then move on and find someone who does.

You can’t try and push him into doing something he doesn’t enjoy just because you like him.

I think you’re right. I replied against my better judgment, but this thread is weird.

Ladies stop replying to this weirdo pervert. All report this creep.

This