Is it a dealbreaker if a new guy doesn’t go down on you?

[TheNotSohill]

For a bit of context I met a guy on hinge a couple months ago and we have started being exclusive. Things are going really well but in the bedroom he doesn’t want to go down on me for some reason. I didn’t want to ask why because I do like him but oral is really important to me and the fact he’s not willing to do it is causing me with a bit of a dilemma. What do you think I should do?

Hmmm so he gets bit doesn’t give

you need to say something. He may not like it. Or think he’s rubbish at it. Or maybe an ex didn’t like it

you won’t know till ask

Surely everyone likes recieving it

What’s this supposed to mean?

Not at all. For a myriad of reasons there are many of us who don't enjoy receiving. Many of us love to give.

You really need to just talk to him.

Hmm you’d think so wouldn’t you, i once had a girlfriend who said the feeling was too intense, maybe some people can’t handle it.

Do you ever sext? If you do, maybe you could drop it in a text message and see how it’s received? Might open up the conversation.

Can you really not work this out?..

Not everyone loves receiving it - maybe he had a previous partner who did, so isn't making assumptions about anyone else liking it without asking and you're not asking.

Ask him. "Please go down on me." If he says no, ask him why. Maybe it's something he just doesn't like doing, just like some women don't like going down on a man. We are not all the same.

If you ask and he refuses, how important is it to you? Because if it is a deal breaker for you, and he doesn't want to, then you'll have to break up. Others would be fine with going without.

No one is psychic, though.

Can’t stand it when they want head but don’t give it. They are equal acts.

Use your mouth to talk to him about it. Like a grown up!

It’s a pretty standard act though, and he expects oral himself.

Not another man who will only receive oral but never give. Get rid.

I absolutely hate it, gives me the ick

Hate how some men make a big thing of it

smell and/or hair not how he likes? either way, you'd have to have a conversation with him.

Same. It would be a deal breaker the other way for me.

I would just ask him if he doesn’t like it/it’s not his thing. Maybe that’s the case. Maybe he was with a previous partner who didn’t ever want to receive it (I think some women feel like that). Best to ask him. Then if nothing changes you have to decide if it’s a deal breaker. It would be a bit of a shame I think. But if someone does it and you know they’re not really enjoying it or are doing it solely out of politeness to reciprocate it kind of spoils it a bit!

Well I think I’m smelling fine

It wouldn’t bother me if she didn’t want go down on me, but it would bother me if i wasn’t allowed to go down on her.

So if a partner wanted to do it on you you would say no

Do you think it’s because he’s a new guy maybe he doesn’t want to do it straight away. Like cpuld that be a reason?

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How old are you OP? You’re sounding quite immature now.

no in my experience guys who like it are keen and don’t wait because they’re new.

Nope.

We don't know why. There's a ton of possible reasons.

The only way you will find out is by asking him. If you can't do that, you shouldn't be in a sexual relationship with him.

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