Was it inappropriate to use the bathroom bin for a sanitary pad?

[SpoonyBlueMember]

I am working in small company. We had staff party at someone house and I was drunk but I would say I do remember everything to this point. I get along with my team very well.

I feel like there is rumours after this. I am pretty sure. I did probably put my used sanitary pad ( no periods just everyday use ones) in provided bin in bathroom after using toilet. It was a male who ones the house. If I would of been sober I probably would of lost my tracks better -I feel like it got unwrapped. I feel like he have cleaned the bin and been told about it to others like "who does that" and some people do some crazy things"there is some nicknames called out. It is background gossip.

I have confronted him by asking if there is something you wanna say please do. Says there is not and that's that. Been one more comment after that I feel. I didn't say myself anything as well. Just that if there is some talks I am thinking it is childish and immature. And to ignore me if he is not saying anything behind my back.

I feel so depressed as I was a respected in my team and this situation have brought me so down. I try to keep my head up as I think they are wrong to initiate females like that as it is natural thing.

I am starting to overthink did I do Something else but to be honest I am quite sure that was it and my brain is just starting to play trick on me.

Was I wrong doing it?

Sorry am lost a bit. Who has been making comments ? the rest of the team ?(not realising it was you) were they saying this in front of you?
Was it an 'anticipatory' one you were wearing that turned not be needed?

It's a bin FFS !so effectively a bit of white tissue material without even any blood on it . Ridiculous and bitchy (lm presuming it was women saying 'Who does that?')

Mostly it has been two guys talking about it between them but loudly as we share the same room. There is music in background and everybody kind of doing their own thing. So as I knew I might of left sanitary pad in bathroom bin and was quite sure (but we went out later so I hoped I removed it there). After some comments like,who does that I am quite sure was saying to other guy that "should we do what she did in my house " and felt like he was looking at me. There is been more comments I guess based on the pad- there might been some discharge on the, normal every day thing. Maybe changed colour as was in a bin day or 2. I am actually using them every day to be clean and I get opposite reactions. Just sad. My partner said that he thinks it is nothing and nobody knows actually it is you. He is a guy but I think men taking those things differently based on backgrounds I guess how they grow up etc.. but I feel like they assume it was me. There were other girls,one of them left earlier and one of them came later and was quite sober. I was drunk so I think that is a main reason the blame on me. But could of been anyone really,right. We all girls using them everyday drunk or sober. Just scared as I was drunk it might of stick maybe on top and opened - I remember using toilet paper to cover it but I think I didn't rolli it in it but just put paper on it. Bin lead needs to taken off to change bag.

I think if the bin had a bin bag in it, and you wrapped the pad up, it's fine. If there was no bin bag it's a bit yuck. I wouldn't want to handle someone's used pads - or anything else with bodily fluids on - unless they are a family member. If I am staying somewhere and use the bin for pads, tampons etc, I make sure there's a bin liner and empty it when I leave.

However, the men sound very immature to be making comments about it. How old are they?

I'd ignore them but not get drunk around them again.

You know these are a total marketing ploy right? You don't need a bit of plastic in your knickers to 'be clean'

I can't get past someone using a pad for no reason? When not on their period? Is this normal？If so it's really unhealthy for down there... full of microplastics and chemicals. Surely most people don't wear them every day for everyday use? Shocked to see nobody else has asked about this. Anyway no it's no problem and your colleague is a dick. It's literally a bathroom bin!

Even without a liner, surely you put a bag over the open top and tip upside down to empty? No way I'm handling bathroom waste when emptying the bin.
And personally think it's more disgusting to be carrying around a used pad but I don't usually have a handbag so it'd just be in my pocket.

Their blatant misogyny is showing.

You wear a pad every day?
What's that all about?
Do you not get something similar to nappy rash.

No advice on if you think the men are talking about it but I do get that they find it yuck.

No. You weren't wrong to put a used liner in the bin.

You are wrong to be dwelling on it and thinking they're gossiping about you.

I use liners daily @morbiddest - i have a lot of vaginal discharge and it's very uncomfortable if i don't.

If you just chucked it in not wrapped up that's grim.

But a sanitary towel can stick to the bin and so won’t necessarily fall into the bag.

Given OP you were so drunk you can’t seem to remember removing the sanitary towel (you say you hope you didn’t remove it when you went out later?), is it possible you didn’t put it in the bin and left it out in the bathroom? Or it might be that you did in fact do something else (or just be blind drunk) and it’s not this at all.

And as PP have said, you don’t need a sanitary towel every day (and why did you feel compelled to change a clean sanitary towel at that moment in your colleagues house?!). It’s unhealthy, wasteful and unnecessary.

the comments don’t seem like it would be anything to do with a pad? Them saying should we do what she did in my house makes it sound like you’d done something else, if it was indeed about you, in my opinion

Even if, worst case scenario, in your drunken state you accidentally left it next to the toilet or somewhere other than the bin, it’s extremely immature behaviour by two supposedly grown men to make a song and dance if it.

Some people have more discharge than others. My mother always used them for that.

OP. You're a woman. Women use pads. Pads go in the bin. Don't overthink this. You should not feel embarrassed for a normal thing.💪

Thengius at work are acting very immature. I'm sorry you have to work with them.

Call out their crappy behaviour. That’s literally what a him is for. It’s a pad. You didn’t shit in the bin. Tell them to grow up.

Perhaps nobody else asked about it because 1. it's not what the OP asked and 2. it's none of your business?

OP it sounds like they are being incredibly immature and are now into workplace bullying territory. It needs tobstop But it also sounds like you aren't 100% sure what you did with the pad. Perhaps you should also apologise.

I wouldn’t assume they’re talking about you, and I certainly wouldn’t assume they’re talking about the pad. How could they “do what you did” in your house if they’re both men?

They could be talking about someone else completely. Even if they are talking about you, it doesn’t sound like they’re talking about the pad.

Why I changed pad there - if I was sober I would of not never done it there or lost my track better.
If the pad was wrapped than it is all good- as I said it might of been not wrapped and it would of been straight to see when started to change the bin.
It is a liner- not the period pad. I don't use them every day,just some days when feels nessecary.
Sure it was grim and might be disgusting.
Situation is that I was drunk and it might of been unwrapped. How should I feel in this situation is the main question. When sober I am very careful with this stuff

If it was wrapped, then he wouldn’t have known what was in there as all he would have see is a ball of tissue. So for him to see a pad / liner in there, it must have been unwrapped, and that’s pretty disgusting to be honest. I wouldn’t want to see a friend’s used product just sitting there for me to deal with.

But he does need to get over it. Apart from
the initial reaction and perhaps complaining, there’s no need to keep chatting about it so he is being unreasonable from that perspective.

No one wants to see a pad sunny side up in the bin, it’s gross. Please roll them and wrap in tissue in future. It’s immature of them to talk about it and embarrass you but I’d be privately very cross at having to clear that up after you if you did that in my house.

What does lost your tracks mean?

Also, you really do need to drink less if you can’t remember what you’ve done.

Respectfully, OP, you still sound a bit drunk or strange. You wear pads daily ‘to be clean’ and are ‘sad’ it had the ‘opposite reaction’ ? I mean, did you think two random male colleagues were going to congratulate you on your genital hygiene?

Yes I wondered about the ‘lost my track’ thing - wonder if OP doesn’t speak English as a first language and it’s an equivalent of ‘covering my tracks’. Anyway, I digress!

It is a bit grim. But you have done it now and it can’t be undone. Forget about it. Drink less in the future.