Soreness and potential tears after sex or could it be herpes?

[Worriedone12]

Hello all, I know this is sort of a sex question and that we have a sex board. However I'm hoping for sensible answers as I'm really worried.

Basically last Saturday DP and I had sex. He had been drinking so it went on far longer than it should have and it hurt. Sorry for tmi but he was inserting fingers into me (vaginally and anal) and it was quite rough. The anal hurt quite a bit as there was no lubrication and he kept going. However I let it happen, so I'm not blaming him for this.
The next day my bum was very sore and going to the toilet really hurt. We had sex again and my vagina was also sore and my cervix felt very sore.

From then on I was really sore. I felt really swollen down below and felt a lot of pressure. Sitting down actually hurt and I haven't really been able to wipe myself since. I think I also got thrush as I had the symptoms (I get it quite regularly) and had that sore paper cut feeling. I did take a fluconazole tablet on Thursday.

So all week it's been really sore to even sit down, feel like paper cuts everywhere.

Anyway I decided to try and take some photos because I can't actually see the area. All around my anal area I have redness (a good few cms away from actual anus as well as my perinium and anus looking swollen). I've also got what looks like some bits of broken skin. However what has worried me is that I have some spots/potential blisters? I can't really tell properly from the photo. I'm terrified I may have herpes. They aren't the obvious typical appearance but I have some small circle shaped bits of broken skin. I can also see some red bits on the swollen areas of anus but can't tell if it's a cut or tear or potential spot.

I obviously know nobody can diagnose me via the internet but wondering if anyone has any experience of this. Did you have similar symptoms after vigourous sex? Have you had herpes? I only looked on Thursday and couldn't get to the drs Fri. I will contact them tomorrow, however I'm very very nervous about what it'll mean and how it'll impact my relationship.

For context, been with my partner 10 years and completely faithful. I've never had herpes and not has he- well never seen any and he's not said he has. I know it can remain dormant etc etc but how likely is this to actually be the case and isn't it more likely he's just cheated?

You are catastrophising. You don't have to tell the GP anything. You have pain and blisters and you need them to examine you and swab for STIs if they will do it. That's it.
It would have been much better for you to go straight to the gum clinic but it's good to see a GP at least.

Let the GP have a look and take it from there. You’ll be so relieved that you went and as PPs have said, they really have seen it all before. I remember asking a nurse at our surgery to check if I had a prolapse. I was so nervous. She said oh don’t worry, I’ve seen most of {them} in the local area xx

Update- so it wasn't as bad as expected and I had the lovely doctor who was very nice.
She didn't ask any questions regarding the relationship/sex either.
Anyway she had a good look and said I don't have herpes. It looks like a mix of thrush/healing tears. I have a cream to use.

Glad you went to see your doctor, and i'd have a word with your partner if i was you, i know you said you didn't stop him but his over eagerness is causing you physical pain which isn't normal.

To be honest I'm still a little anxious that it could be something but more reassured after seeing the Dr.
I do appreciate the concern, the last few months he has been more rough with me. When he is annoyed with me he seems to be very rough with his fingers inside me. Plus I have made it clear I don't like anything near my bum! I don't mind occasionally if hes slow and gentle but he seems to like raming as many fingers in as he can, roughly.

So may of you were right, this isn't just rough sex. It's something I don't want. I didn't speak up, although a few months ago he did something to me despite me saying no. I have lost sight of what's normal and in many ways was surprised so many of you thought it was unacceptable. I just assumed it's normal to get hurt sometimes and he didn't realise.

OP, you’ve just said a few months ago your partner raped you.

You’ve also clearly communicated a boundary about anal penetration which he has ignored on this occasion (and it seems others).

Please please just reflect on what you’ve just said and realise that this is not just rougher than normal sex when tipsy, this is coercive sexual behaviour and you can’t just keep making excuses for it.

What pleasure does he even get from roughly fingering you when drunk so hard he causes vaginal and anal tears and a thrush infection? Sounds to me like your pain and the invasive and aggressive nature of the act was the pleasure and that’s very concerning when you feel unable to say no in circumstances where you’re being violently torn…

I am sorry to read this. He’s very abusive if he tries to hurt you during sex if he’s angry with you. It sounds like sex is something he “ does to you” and something you consent to as he will go ahead and do it anyway ( and that’s not really consent). My partner and I have had sex after an agreementy but he’s never hurt me, it’s been a way of reconnecting.
It sounds like he could be abusive in others ways as you come across as scared and also ashamed at what’s he’s done to you, the shame is all his @Worriedone12 . We are all here to listen and support you x

• arguement And not agreement