Any practical ways to deal with my husband's snoring and my sleep?

[Nanof1boyand1ontheway]

Morning all I write this as husband snores away like a walrus beside me! I'm at the end of my tether, I can't take any more. Before the menopause I used to sleep well and didn't notice the snoring. Now it takes me ages to get to sleep even if I'm very tired and then I have to listen to him. If I'm lucky enough to drop off quickly, il wake in the night for the loo & can't get back to sleep because he's snoring. He starts snoring bad as soon as his head hits the pillow. He was even snoring on the beach yesterday I had to keep waking him. He won't go to the Dr's and won't try anything from the shops. When he was younger he broke his nose he says that's what's causing it. I told him to get it fixed but he won't. He won't take turns sleeping in spare room at home either. Apart from a sledgehammer, any ideas on how to stop the snoring?

If it were me, I would sleep in the spare room!

I do occasionally but I don't see why oh can't take his turn as well? We also have grandson over so he's In there 2 nights anyway

Have you recorded him, does he know how loud he snores and will he still not address it? Is your spare bed comfortable, if so I would sleep in it, if not I would buy one that is. Seems to be common that men snore louder as they get older at just about the same time as our menopause, not a great combination.

Menopause does affect your sleep. I never had more than 5 hours when I was menopausal and I was always shattered. I am now prescribed a small dose of melatonin which helps.

You cant stop him snoring, you could try various ear plugs or an app which could have the dual purpose of helping you sleep and blocking out his noise. You could poke him with something sharp every time he snores but that wont help your sleep.

I moved into the spare room years ago. Total game changer. Make it your own room, let him get on with it. Why should you suffer because he won’t do anything about it?

I moved out. We are still together as in we go on dates and family days, but I love having my own house. I know it is extreme, but if you can’t afford it, why not?

Stop calling it "the spare room" - make it your bedroom, personalised for you. Get a foldout chairbed that goes in what will now be DHs room, so that Grandson has somewhere to sleep. If the spare room isn't the only upstairs room that could be your bedroom (eg if the 2nd largest bedroom is a study) you can also rearrange that to claim a larger room for you.

Don't entirely rule out the sledgehammer option. You have plenty of support here we can help you lay your new patio and corroporate your alibi that you were with us the whole time. He's a nasty selfish person to care so little about the impact of his snoring on your sleep, and to refuse to put himself to any inconvenience for you - you do not have to stay married to him. Living alone with peace and quiet might be preferable and is a valid choice.

Well he’s self diagnosing and being selfish. He might need a sleep apnea assessment. Gamechanger!
Have you tried a Snoozeband for your sleep?

Just move into the spare room and make it yours.
Get a camp bed for your grandson, he'll think it's fun sleeping in granny's room.

It's not worth trying to make your DH "take his turn". You need to take control of what you can.

I slept on the sofa for ages until a DC moved out and now I have thier room. I got a new bed because why should DH have a decent bed and I don't, and have my nice things in there.

"Our" bedroom still has my wardrobe and clothes but we both sleep better in separate rooms. He didn't like it at first but I didn't care, I deserve to sleep at night uninterrupted and so do you @Nanof1boyand1ontheway

Use a pillow instead of a sledgehammer. Quieter and less mess.

I fucking hate snoring. My DH and I both have sleep apnoea and use CPAPs.

Time to make the spare room into your room. Nice sheets, new curtains, new mattress, whatever you need to make it yours. Don’t sleep next to the snoring selfish arsehole. Put your sleep and sanity first.

Pretty sure I’ve read that either oestrogen or progesterone helps with getting to sleep and staying to sleep. See a knowledgeable doctor about getting it prescribed.

Don't let him sleep until he sorts it. "If I don't sleep you don't" if he wants to sleep he goes to the other room. I shove my husband when he starts.
He uses a snore spray now from boots which helps a little but that took years of arguments until I had enough.

Yes iv recorded him
Tell me more about the melatonin

Earplugs for you

No what's that

We bought a gumsheild called snoreban. Luckily husband was willing to try it and persevered through the first few nights where it was uncomfortable for him.
Has worked wonders and stops him snoring almost completely. Only problem is if it falls out in the night, but a quick nudge and he wakes up and puts it back in!

Get some silicon earplugs (I break them in half as they’re quite big) they’re much better than foam ones. Then get a snoozeband which is a rechargeable Bluetooth band with soft earphones in…wear that over the earplugs and play white noise/wave music.

Move Into the spare room, make it yours. Is there somewhere else in the property suitable for your grandson to sleep the twice a week he stays? If he’s still audible sleep headband playing rain sounds.

Your husband is being incredibly selfish not addressing it, is he selfish in other ways?

He won't go to the Dr's and won't try anything from the shops. When he was younger he broke his nose he says that's what's causing it. I told him to get it fixed but he won't. He won't take turns sleeping in spare room at home either.

Is he this awful in other areas if your marriage too? I am shocked that you are so nonchalant about his complete lack of care for you. Sleep deprivation is a form of torture. Why does he think it's OK for him to behave like this?

Record him snoring, turn up the volume and blast it at him every time he wakes you up!

Another vote for Snorban as mentioned by a previous poster. I snore & the mouthguard solves it completely. If I spit it out, DH nudges me to put it back in. Very effective & quite easy to get used to. You mould it to fit your mouth. Def worth a try!

I agree.

This isn’t what love looks like OP, it’s complete and utter lack of caring about you. What a horrible man.

I’m baffled as to why you haven’t moved into the spare room already. I couldn’t share a bed with someone who outright told me they didn’t care about my comfort and sleep at all.

You sound so passive about something that is actually nasty of him.

No he's amazing otherwise that's why I'd never divorce him over something like this. He's got me through some tough times over the last few years & I wouldn't be without him. He's a great step dad to my girls and the best bampy to the grandsons its just the bloody snoring

does he have septum deviation or something that needs surgery?

I don't know he won't go to the Dr.

If you can’t move rooms then get the silicon ear plugs. We get the ones called noisex. I discovered them when I used to work nights and couldn’t sleep in the daytime. They are great for blocking out noise.
I snore as does DP and we can’t hear one another

Do he can sleep but u can't. He isn't prepared to do anything about it. That is incredibly selfish. When grandson is there your husband needs to sleep in lounge. The spare room needs to be set-up as another adult bedroom with possibility yo accommodate grandson. If he won't movevi would use it as an opportunity to revamp spare room to ur individual taste. I am the snorer. I have traditionally taken myself into the spare room when I have started snoring. Realise this needs to be done beforehand in your case.