AIBU to think 6–7 years is too long to wait for marriage?

[LivingApartTogether26]

Hello everyone. I’m looking for some perspective here as I’m feeling really stuck and upset.
I’ve been divorced for a few years, and for the last 3 years, I’ve been in a relationship with a lovely divorced man. He has grown-up children (one lives with him but spends half her time at her boyfriend's) and we live about 1.5 hours apart. My DS is 14 and lives with me 5 days a week.
Because of the distance and our kids, we split our time. I stay at his 2 nights a week, he stays at mine 1–2 nights, and we spend most weekends and holidays together. We talk a lot about getting old together and buying a property once the kids have flown the nest.
I’ve made it clear that I want to get married as a natural step forward, even if we can’t live together full-time just yet due to my DS finishing school.
During our last discussion, I told him it’s just too upsetting for me to delay marriage for another 6–7 years until we can finally move in together. His response? He says he absolutely cannot be married to someone he doesn’t live with full-time, and that "if I loved him," I would understand this. In the same breath, he claims that a piece of paper shouldn't make a difference if we love each other.
I’m starting to think 6 or 7 years is a ridiculous amount of time to wait in limbo, and I'm worried he’s just using the living situation as an excuse because he doesn't actually want to get married again.

YABVU. Enjoy your relationships as it is and when you are in a position to protect your assets and children are grown you can have an lovely retirement together

If you were 35 and had been together 3 year and wanting children then 6 years is too long.

Bit in this case you can potentially come across as manipulative and controlling.

Becuse you have children martiage will have huge implications for them - whether grown or still at school. Just wait.

I don't understand why marriage means so much when, like me, you are divorced and can see that it doesn't mean a Happy Forever after?

I have relatives who lived together for 25 years before they got married, so 7 years is nothing 😂
But, seriously OP, what's the rush? You still have a teenager to prioritise, for a start.

Marriage is overrated. I don’t understand why you are fixated on it.

You can’t live together, you aren’t going to merge finances.
Marriage is not a romantic progression. Living together is…. Marriage does not bring closer emotionally. Living together does.
Marriage can do the exact opposite.

Marriage is a legal contract, and a darn sight easier to get into than get out of. Nor is it a guarantee of getting old together.

I remarried aged 60 after 10 years living together and was ready for a divorce 6 days later. I did leave after ducks in a row a year after marriage and divorced 2 years after that.