worried about what happens when his visa runs out now im pregnant

[TreadlngWater]

Title: worried about what happens when his visa runs out now im pregnant

Hi, I dont really know where to start with this but im getting really worried about it now and its probably because im 34 weeks pregnant and everything is getting to me

My boyfriend has 3 years left on his visa and it runs out in 2029, when we first got together I didnt really think about it because it seemed so far away but now we have a baby on the way im starting to think what actually happens if he cant stay

He is here legally before anyone asks, im not worried about him being here now its more what happens when it expires and if he doesnt get residency or whatever he needs next

I keep thinking surely having a baby here must count for something? Or does it not make any difference because the baby is his anyway

I know 2029 sounds ages away but it doesnt to me now, especially when you have a baby and your whole life is planned around them. I dont want to be sat here in a few years with a child and having to think about him leaving

Maybe im being stupid and overthinking it but has anyone actually been in this situation

I just want to know if the baby gives him any sort of rights or if im completly wrong about that

Sorry if this is obvious I just cant stop thinking about it now

@padinawagina some posters are so nasty.

Who?

A Syrian, presumably Muslim, yet happy to have a sexual relationship with a woman who is not his wife and have a child outside of marriage? That doesn’t sound quite right. As PP have said, he may already be married.

It's the country everyone's desperate to flee to.

Not.

@TreadlngWater I'm a social worker and work with unaccompanied asylum seeker children. I thought the Home
Office had temporarily paused asylum
applications from Syrians?! Also, I think the Home Office are trying to send refugees back to Syria? With Assad gone, where is the risk (thats the argument posed to refugee young people ?). Also, thousands of Syrians have returned to Syria since the fall of the regime.

This doesn't answer your questions but you need to know a lot more than what you do.

Why would you have a child with a refugee ?! (I’m saying this as child of an immigrant ) . Why make your life even harder?

Good luck

Are you seriously suggesting the OP should move to Syria?? 🤯

Jesus fucking Christ! 🤦‍♀️

If he is not allowed to stay, your odds of getting any financial support from him are close to zero. It is very important that you do not leave the workforce. Take your maternity leave, but then get back to work full time. You need to take care of yourself and your child.

As for his visa, just knowing what he has told you is disturbing. You should know the exact details, the type of visa he is on and the conditions for its renewal. There is paperwork and other supporting documentation available and you should read every word if you are really partners.

he also needs an immigration attorney if he wants to stay. DIY is a path much less likely to be successful. There are too many hoops to jump through and too many mistakes a person can make. Unless you are both able to put in the time to study the laws and regulations yourself, you need help.

Being Muslim is not a red flag. For all you know OP is Muslim herself - nowhere does she say that she isn't, as far as I can see?

There is a lot of anti-Islam prejudice and ignorance on this thread. Not all Muslims are the same and believe the same things. Somebody else was commenting that a Muslim shouldn't have sex outside marriage - who are you to make this statement?

Pretty much all religions, Islam included, contain a wide spectrum of belief, from ultra-conservative to extremely liberal. I have Muslim aquaintances who openly live together as a couple though not married - I assume they are having sex!

OP, you should obviously be very cautious about marrying someone you have only known for a relatively short amount of time, and your priority should be your and the baby's future safety and well-being. I am not sure if you love this man and are a future as a couple with him? Perhaps it's too early to say, and you need to give it more time?

Obviously it would have been better to have got to know him and his situation a little better before falling pregnant, but these things happen, it's done now, and you sounds excited about the little life growing inside you. I think your first move should be to talk to the baby's dad and agree with him to see an immigration specialist, who can explain the current situation and lay out your options and the likely outcomes. Certainly don't get married until you are fully informed about the situation, possible consequences etc. Consider getting some advice for yourself to apart from him, concerning what steps you could take if the worst happens, you and he fall out, and he decides he wants to take his child back with him. Are there steps you can take at this stage to safeguard against this. Do not speak to him about this at this stage.

And well done to thinking about this now. Forewarned is forearmed. Gaining leave to remain seems to be a very involved, very lengthy process, so if that's the route you and he decide to go down, the sooner you start the better.

There is nothing more serious and no bigger steps than having a child together

You need a conversation with your partner. You don't appear to know very much about his immigration status, other than his refugee status runs out in 2029. He must have documentation, so he needs to show you. You will both need proper advice from an immigration lawyer.

I’m writing from the perspective that a younger member of my family had to successfully go through the process for British citizenship . It takes a while and cost them a lot of money.

Perhaps now is a good time to up-your-game and start doing your research.

If he needs to take an English test and his English ain’t great, start exploring lessons.

Take advice from a bonafide legal team (not some fake lawyer ‘round the corner) so that you are totally aware of what you need to put in place. No messing, get it done.

Well he's seen you coming and landed on his feet, hasn't he.

Totally.

As someone else said, poor kid.

No one falls in love as quickly as someone with nowhere to live. It's just that in his case it's a whole country. You'll marry him, he'll get his status, and he'll be off within a couple of years. To the wife he probably already has.

Don’t marry him and end up financially reasonable for him. As a refugee he has a strong position and actually has good rights, right to benefits and free courses. He would be eligible to indefinite leave to remain after 5 years. Probably get free legal advice which is what he should be looking at now.

Hmmmm. I have a friend who married someone he was dating because her visa was running out. He did it for that reason, not because he knew their relationship would work out long term. As it happens, it has lasted and they're still together now 10 years later. BUT... he did it as a good thing to help her.

That isn't a bad thing. Even if you split up, he's still your baby's father. You want him to have relationship with your child. And if he's here and working, he'd have to pay child maintenance if you're not together.

I'd get rid of the romantic idea of marriage/proposal/fluffy white dresses that you might have and be practical. If nothing else, it'll hopefully help you chill a bit before the birth.

Being a Syrian refugee is no longer a given for getting permanent residency in the UK (compared to going back several years and even then it took a considerable amount of time). My sister in law initially had asylum /student/leave to remain did the exams etc to get a British passport (it’s actually quite hard and I did not pass any of the mock tests! ) so in total 12 years of different visas. It has to be something he really wants as it’s expensive and time consuming.

Since the fall of the Assad regime, it is on a case by case basis but by 2029 it will depend on what government we have eg Reform, Tories god lord at this point who knows Restore? then it’s much more precarious for his status. These are more likely to toe the line and like the USA deem Syria ‘Safe’ which it is not but it’s politically motivated and start the process to return.

Please do not go to Syria.

If you have talked about marriage, please be aware Islamic marriage is not legally recognised in the UK and therefore not legally binding. My bro and sis in law got engaged/married when she was on the last part of the process so not much knowledge about spousal visa (if you got married) but there is definitely a minimum annual salary (quick google says £29k and that’s your wage). Might be worth posting this is immigration maybe? Or Reddit is abit kinder. For more in depth information.

Yes he should be on the birth certificate, he’s the father! But no, I wouldn’t be giving the baby any other last name than yours. It can be changed if you get married.

I’m not going to lie to you the process is difficult and long and he does need to seek legal advice.

You don’t need to worry right now. Focus on your pregnancy and baby 🧡 but you do at some point need to have these serious chats with him about the future because it’s going to affect both of you.

Are you supposing OP had a 'contraception failure', she's trapped him; or that he impregnated her by force/deception?

It doesn’t count for anything - if it did, how many men would just get random women pregnant just to be able to stay?

This is just so silly, yes muslims live varied lives (primarily in the west). But a man from actual Syria would have some very hard questions to answer his family if he openly embraced having a child outside of wedlock with a non muslim. It’s just the culture, the fact that he’s fine with it should be bloody suspicious.

I literally do not know a single muslim (and I know loads of arabs) who would be fine with a pregnancy outside of marriage. This is silly progressive nonsense from someone who knows people who are privileged enough to be able to ignore cultural and religious expectations. That is not the majority experience.

Whilst it's not a given, unfortunately it does open up a family and private life application, and subsequent appeals if its refused.

Brw I’d say the same here if it were a british man.

Was the entire pre-war population in Syria, Muslim? I thought there were a fair few Christians.
Has the OP mentioned his religion?

It doesn’t matter, in many arab countries it is literally impossible to register a child born out of wedlock, they have difficulty obtaining legal status and often face hurdles to even be recognised as citizens of their country. Many don’t even allow mothers to pass their citizenship to their own children. It is not just social discrimination it is legal discrimination and it’s an accepted norm. An arab man who has genuine intentions towards you will propose before he consider having kids with you. Thats not fashionable to say but it’s the truth. I kmow western women married to arab men happily and not a single one of them had children before wedlock, everything was done properly.

If he’s not fussed OP has to consider the fact that she may just be useful to him. That’s unpleasant but lying to her isn’t helpful either, he may be perfectly lovely but none of this would be acceptable to his family.

I deeply dislike anti muslim bigotry, I know some wonderful muslim women (men aren’t so great tbh) but pretending that the rest of the world has values at all similar to the west is ridiculous. You also can’t compare privileged muslim elites in the west to your average muslim in the UK, the rates of cousin marriage are still very high in these communities and people want me to believe nonsense about msulim communities being fine with sex outside of marriage (which tbf some kind of turn a blind eye to as long as it’s their son and not their daughter doing it).

Don't get married and definitely don't go to Syria

Other countries have very different laws about fatherhood and rights of children and it's just not a good idea I'm puzzled so many posters are saying get married