Successful reconciliation stories after cheating

[Strawberrina]

Hi Mumsnetters,

My husband had an affair with a younger work colleague in 2024. We reconciled and are working through things and fixing our marriage. I have read many stories here on Mumsnet of married couples reconciling after one of them had an affair, but then eventually deciding to separate for various reasons. Please share with me successful reconciliation stories.

Because someone treated you appallingly.

And you continue to let them have access to your life.

Love the way you call it harping on just because someone disagrees with you about losing pride and dignity by staying with someone who treated you so very badly.

And but of course he will never do it again. 🙄

@SoBoredOfSelfDoubtHowToGetOut i fundamentally disagree and for the record I’ve never claimed I believe he won’t cheat again. I hope not but it will be his shame and not mine for believing that a human being can do better. I won’t engage anymore with you about this as this isn’t my thread and I won’t thread jack.

@Strawberrina I think you keep posting about this wanting someone to give you that one magic answer that will suddenly make you feel ok about this.

I don't think that is going to happen.

Splitting up is hard. Staying together is hard. You need to choose your hard and get ok with it.

From all your posts, to me it is glaringly obvious that he will cheat again. He doesn't seem to love you or respect you and he doesn't come across as someone you would ever be able to fully trust.

Women like you genuinely break my heart because somewhere, somehow in your life you decided that you're not worth the bare minimum of respect and loyalty. I look at my daughter and think would I ever want that for her? And the answer is a resounding no. I'm sure you'd say the same. So why is it ok for you?

The loss of pride is not in the other partner's actions but in the act of lying down and being a doormat because one can't love oneself enough to be happy alone.

Even OP is saying her husband was weak whereas his mistress was manipulative. It's a ridiculous cliche. Men who cheat aren't poor saps who are too weak to reject the scheming Jezebels who just can't get enough of them. They don't make mistakes, they make choices.

And women who 'forgive them' (read: lie down for them) aren't super strong, resilient, and kind-hearted soldiers. They are victims who, for whatever reason, don't have enough self-esteem to know they deserve better.

It's just sad all round.

@MaggiesShadow fair enough. This ‘doormat’ isn’t going to spend any more time arguing with posters telling me I should feel shame or lack of pride and dignity’. I’ll just carry on enjoying my happy life with my wonderful family and friends who all supported my decision. Thank goodness for their empathy and compassion.

@Strawberrina feel free to message me if you need any further support. I do understand.