Not sleeping with someone unless you have feelings for them?

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I posted in another group about potentially having a FWB arrangement with an ex. Long story short, it’s something I’m considering. I explained that I don’t have romantic feelings for him anymore (I don’t dislike him, I just don’t see him that way), and I was amazed by how many women were horrified at the idea of having sex with someone I don’t have feelings for.
A lot of them said they could never sleep with someone unless they had feelings for them. That genuinely surprised me because I don’t think that’s true for most people, women included.
I also don’t think there’s anything wrong with women choosing to have sex because they enjoy sex, not just because they’re in love or developing feelings. If that’s not for you, that’s absolutely fine, but it seems odd to act as though women only ever have sex when there’s an emotional attachment.
If that were really the case, how do people have sex in the early stages of dating? What about ONS, casual dating, or the often mentioned “three date rule”? Which I hear lots of women mentioning. Surely most people aren’t already emotionally invested by then? Whats your thoughts?

I’ve been faithfully married since 1991, but prior to that, I could and did have some fantastic encounters. Each to their own, but I was always careful to be in control, and always having a flatmate around.

I couldn't just sleep with anyone. I need the connection to be there first. I'm probably old in my viewpoint on that though.

Asexuality is a spectrum. I myself am demisexual although it is not something I tell people as people then assume you are labelling yourself but I am not it is just a factor that I cannot sleep with someone I have no feelings for and I have been single for 3 years and therefore not slept with anyone in that time. I was also single before that ex for 6-7 years and did not have sex in that time either. I can only have sex with someone I have found a proper bond with. I have never had a one night stand but I have had some sexual partners who I have gotten to know very well and slept with a few times so I am not against anyone doing what they want with their bodies but personally unless I really have formed a bond and developed feelings for someone I could not be intimate in any way with them.

Yes, I'd be surprised as well.

I have to have a connection.

I find very few people attractive on first look. It’s only when I get to know them that I find them attractive.

I agree. It's not often you feel the spark.

Well this thread has obviously attracted all the ones that need to have feelings before sleeping with someone. I still don’t believe that’s the majority of women but of course this thread will attract people that do, normally when I see a thread on here about sleeping with someone people usually say straight away! Looks like this thread has attracted the opposite.

It's personal preference and generational too possibly. I guess.

Generational? What age generation are you thinking of? I am in my 40's. I have always felt like this even in my 20's.

I don't buy the "old fashioned" concept. I had friends in the 70's who had lots of ONS's or slept with someone on the first date. Others I know waited several months. Personally I need an emotional connection and, to be honest, so do most of the women I've known in my life. But each to their own and who cares. I can't speak for men because I'm not one, but from what I've seen over the course of my long life, they'll sleep with just about anyone that doesn't make them actually vomit.

Do you fancy him? I could do it if I found him hot - no need for any more feeling than basic lust.

I mean hes not bad to look at 🤣 but It’s more of an itch to scratch if im honest!

I could when I was younger (teens and 20s) but not now in my 40s- I’d rather not bother unless it’s someone I genuinely really like. No judgement on anyone who does though- as long as everyone’s an open honest consenting adult, do what you want.