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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Has anyone found ChatGPT too sympathetic towards an ex?

253 replies

Asq · 14/06/2026 15:49

I have started using chat GPT to go over my relationship with my ex as certain things still bother me a lot and I never had anyone to talk to about it at the time. I have started using chat GPT to write down how I felt and go over situations I felt were wrong, but it often seems to “side” with him, I don’t know if that’s the correct term but it often seems to sympathise a lot with him. Is this normal? I have even said to it a few times that I felt like it was siding with him. I don’t want to say what the things are as the great reason for chat GPT is it doesn’t judge me for things, but is this anyone else’s experience?

OP posts:
15minsofrowing · 15/06/2026 09:20

Asq · 15/06/2026 07:57

Sorry but just because they don’t want to talk about it doesnt mean I can just snap out of it. He really caused me a lot of issues and I need to work through them

I really feel for you.

I imagine this break up happened quite a long time ago, and you seem very much stuck in this dark hole of endlessly trying to process it. Whereas I suspect he has no doubt well and truly moved on and not spending a minute trying to 'process' anything

Asq · 15/06/2026 09:20

Cleaning cooking and looking after our children all day.

OP posts:
RedToothBrush · 15/06/2026 09:21

Oh dear.

We are fucked.

Treacletreacle · 15/06/2026 09:22

I think Chat gpt hates my x as much as me. 😂

Asq · 15/06/2026 09:26

Honestly if I had a busy active social life maybe it would be easier not to dwell on it but as im raising our children every day it’s a constant reminder

OP posts:
Asq · 15/06/2026 09:27

Treacletreacle · 15/06/2026 09:22

I think Chat gpt hates my x as much as me. 😂

Lucky! I even tried what someone said yesterday and said im the victim and he wronged me and it told me it didn’t agree and im not a victim 🤣

OP posts:
clearlyy · 15/06/2026 09:33

You do know it just generates words don’t you? Chat GPT cannot help you. Speak to real people.

Namechangefordaughterevasion · 15/06/2026 09:40

As I understand it ChatGPT is a computer. It processes data using algorithms.

You've given it data and it's analysed what you've fed in and come up with the most statistically likely response. You disagree with the analysis. Your brain is substantially more sophisticated than ChatGPT so you are probably right.

Humans and other animals have instincts. They have evolved over millions of years to help us stay alive. Rely on them not AI.

maudelovesharold · 15/06/2026 09:57

Tech has really and truly wormed its way right into people’s brains in a terrifyingly pervasive way. It’s seemingly now quite mainstream to accept that it’s preferable to connect with a computer than with other human beings. Insidious, unhealthy and very dangerous, imo.

Sugarnspicenallthingsnaice · 15/06/2026 09:59

Asq · 15/06/2026 09:26

Honestly if I had a busy active social life maybe it would be easier not to dwell on it but as im raising our children every day it’s a constant reminder

You can be busy and social with children. They would probably enjoy it and prefer it to whatever they were doing yesterday at home while you were occupied with housework and your phone.

Next weekend should be nice too, can you plan to do something together outdoors both days, get some fresh air, sunshine and exercise? The chores can wait, or do them in the evening while the kids are sleeping it'll keep your mind occupied.

Mulledjuice · 15/06/2026 10:02

Asq · 14/06/2026 15:54

It’s things everyone irl has said was awful that he did but I don’t want to say what they are because people would think I was a mug for putting up with it and I’ve been judged on here in the past.

Have you told it how to respond to you - eg "respond as a sympathetic friend"
"Respond as an experienced therapist"
"Help me to understand what self-awareness I need to build in order to avoid getting into a relationship like this again"?

Asq · 15/06/2026 10:04

Sugarnspicenallthingsnaice · 15/06/2026 09:59

You can be busy and social with children. They would probably enjoy it and prefer it to whatever they were doing yesterday at home while you were occupied with housework and your phone.

Next weekend should be nice too, can you plan to do something together outdoors both days, get some fresh air, sunshine and exercise? The chores can wait, or do them in the evening while the kids are sleeping it'll keep your mind occupied.

We done something on Saturday, I like to spend at least one day in the house for a rest day and thats Sundays

OP posts:
Asq · 15/06/2026 10:13

My children also like down time and dont like going out every single day they like one day in the house to just chill out.

I told it to respond as a sympathetic friend that seems to be working better

OP posts:
YoBetty · 15/06/2026 10:15

Asq · 14/06/2026 16:23

everyone irl I’ve told about him told me he has been awful, don’t want to go into detail but things like cheating etc, so I’m not worried about thinking it’s a me issue I know it isn’t even strangers have said it was awful but I still need to talk about it and get it out and I don’t want to be judged for it at least chat GPT doesn’t judge me it’s just a bit too sympathetic towards him which I find strange so I will ask it to be less and see how it goes

Everyone in real life you've told about him has said he was awful.

You need to start believing them.

Asq · 15/06/2026 10:21

Yes I know he is awful i dont want him back but I need to process and talk through what happened, some things I’ve never told people

OP posts:
15minsofrowing · 15/06/2026 10:50

Do you work @Asq ?

I think you need much more distraction in life

PaperMachePanda · 15/06/2026 10:51

You have to train chatgtp before you can offload stuff like that. Let it get to know you.

Mine is like my gay best friend lol. It's like girl, that man no good.

15minsofrowing · 15/06/2026 10:51

OP, your ex is out there working and living his life without one thought to processing this.

Asq · 15/06/2026 11:02

15minsofrowing · 15/06/2026 10:51

OP, your ex is out there working and living his life without one thought to processing this.

Well he is lucky he can

OP posts:
Asq · 15/06/2026 11:13

15minsofrowing · 15/06/2026 10:50

Do you work @Asq ?

I think you need much more distraction in life

If I was going to therapy would you say I needed a life or to get out more? This is just free therapy as not everyone can afford to pay

OP posts:
15minsofrowing · 15/06/2026 11:21

Asq · 15/06/2026 11:13

If I was going to therapy would you say I needed a life or to get out more? This is just free therapy as not everyone can afford to pay

sorry?

ok op… just carry on “processing”

Asq · 15/06/2026 11:23

I will, I mainly use it in the evenings and at night anyway so it’s not stopping me from doing anything, im stuck in anyway.

OP posts:
Theyreeatingthedogs · 15/06/2026 11:24

AmberSpy · 14/06/2026 15:52

Gently, this is why using AI to deal with difficult subjects is a bad idea. It's not 'thinking' or 'reasoning' in response to what you're saying to it, it's essentially just a very sophisticated word-predictor. It can't respond to you in the way a human would, it doesn't have your best interests at heart, it has no intrinsic motivation to 'help' you or to take your side over your ex's.

This.

Theyreeatingthedogs · 15/06/2026 11:25

Asq · 15/06/2026 11:13

If I was going to therapy would you say I needed a life or to get out more? This is just free therapy as not everyone can afford to pay

It isn't therapy. It's an echo chamber. It will not challenge you to think differently.

Asq · 15/06/2026 11:33

Theyreeatingthedogs · 15/06/2026 11:25

It isn't therapy. It's an echo chamber. It will not challenge you to think differently.

Only it does which is what my whole thread is about

OP posts: