Signs your husband/partner loves you

[Lana20]

Hi everyone. A bit random but for me my husband saying he loves me isn’t enough so I always look to actions too. How do your husbands show you love? It’s just a general question out of curiosity. Thanks

So many things. He leaves my gloves by the front door on cold mornings because he knows I’m forgetful and won’t grab them. He cooks me lovely dinners, and the last time arranged the prawns into hearts which I thought was really cute. He takes care of me when I’m sick. If I say I want something/fancy a treat, he will always go and get it for me. I’m incredibly impulsive, and he is always happy to go along with my random whims. I could say I want to go on holiday tomorrow and he would start packing a bag. He picks me up from work every day. He holds my thigh or hand while we’re driving, and he taps along to the music on my thigh like it’s a piano, which I love.

He had to go away for work, and he bought DD and I flowers and wrote us little notes saying how much he was going to miss us. He always looks for me in a crowd, and we will always put me and DD first. He shows me affection constantly. He builds me up, encourages me, believes I can do anything and supports whatever it is I want to do. He gets up every morning for work at 5am so I can work later and he’ll be there to collect DD from school.

We got together very young and had DD very early into our relationship, and many people didn’t really think we would last. But 10 years on he’s my favourite person and I feel incredibly lucky that I get to hang out with him all the time.

The only thing he doesn’t do is make me my coffee, purely because he doesn’t drink it so isn’t really good at making one. He’s tried many times though, but knows its best to leave that one to me 😂

We aren’t into slushy stuff but it’s the little things such as buying my favourite coleslaw and yogurt etc. Or if we watch TV and a show is in a beautiful location the next day he’ll ask if I want to go there for a holiday. Then he’ll email the hotel to make sure there’s enough shade there for me and things like that.

He doesn't.

Reading these makes me sad as I am trapped in my marriage. Made me sleep on a mattress on the floor for a year, only does jobs and work around the house if nagged like hell. Just so many little things. It's shit.

JohnnyM, I know your scenario only too well. My marriage became like this very early on and now, after 53 years, I know I should have left him there and then. Instead I am caring for an invalid who is lapping it up and doing nothing to help himself improve. It's a life sentence for people like us. Have strength xxxx

Since I got released from the hospital, I've been having bladder spasms that are quite painful. I also hate making phone calls because I am not patient enough.
That's the background;
On Saturday, my DH spent hours tracking down a doctor who could help me. Phone call after phone call and who knows how many different people.
He finally got someone, who called in a prescription and it has helped.

THAT shows me just how much he loves me. I even said to him,"I could not have handled that at all." His reply, "I saw how miserable and in pain you were and I had to do whatever I could to try and make you feel better."

He LOVES me! He really, REALLY loves me!

When I was seriously ill recently and had my catheter out and the nurses came round to show me how to self catheterise he asked if he needed to be shown too, in case he needed to help me. I’m 36, not exactly what he signed up for, but I thought afterwards fuck you really do love me!

This ^

this thread is lovely to read but it's making me jealous.

He makes my tea just how I like it. If he pops to the shop he brings me treats home. He takes the piss. He gives great hugs. When I’m ill he cares for me, when I get stuck he helps me.

Honestly, big gestures are few and far between after 18 years. We’re more likely yo
take the piss out of each other than anything, but we share life. He’s not lazy, he’s not unkind, he’s not ignorant, he’s just all the good things. And that’s enough. If you’re driving for the days of new romance in a settled relationship you’d be unusual to find it.

Makes me a cup of tea every single morning. If I’m struggling to sleep, he keeps his hand on my shoulder as he knows that helps. Does all the laundry and fills and empties the dishwasher as he knows I hate it. Lots of little things

@JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff I sleep downstairs on the sofa with the cat. The cat would sleep on DW's bed if we let him. She hates it. But the sofa is the most comfortable place in the house so it's swings and roundabouts.

@Meg8 I know this scenario too. We have been married for 50 odd years but DW owns half my house.

Before his stroke - silly little songs he’d make up to make me laugh, hugging me as I went past, snuggling up in bed, ridiculous nicknames, surprise low-value gifts. And then his ability to weather everything - he was like a rock and I never doubted that his love would always be around, even if he never said it again.

After his stroke - he can’t make up the songs anymore and often forgets our little sayings and nicknames. He’s also a lot more mercurial, emotionally. But he still manages to show it - he gets up in the middle of the night to do the overnight feeds with our little one so I can go back to sleep after changing her. He’ll hold her for hours and has never once complained or said no, when I need to go do things around the house. He puts my needs first before his own on a daily basis. He can’t do a lot and needs to be clearly directed to do things now but he’ll do them when asked. So I still know he loves me, just as much as I love him.

ETA: This has got me quite emotional now. Wasn’t expecting that on MN on a Sunday!

Weird one. But when he charges my sleep headphones for me randomly. Love it

Gives me attention, says sweet things, arranging date nights etc

Respecting my family, helping with the kids, taking care of me when I’m ill. Basically being my best friend & someone who will always be there

Well, I am 56 and a size 18, we've been together almost 40 years, and he still calls me his beautiful girl. If I ever grumble about grey hairs or menopause weight gain he says 'You're still my beautiful girl '. He makes me a cuppa and we have a little cuddle each morning before he goes to work.

Romance is just surface stuff.

We’ve been together for over 30 years. No to the romantic messages question.

however I get a cup of tea in bed every morning. If adult DC are home they get a hot chocolate. We listen together the news of the morning and current affair discussion.

he still opens doors for me.

we find each other before leaving the house of a morning. We find each other when the last one returns.

he now wears headphones watching TV since my hearing has become sensitive, although he still thinks the TV isn’t on loud enough… lol.

he reaches out for me during the night, as a poster said it might be to hold my hand or a foot touching mine.

he is a better listener now than he used to be.

he also has my back in regard to other people and from what I’ve been told, only speaks of me highly to others.

he supports any new interest I have. He will do new things if I’m interested in trying them and we have travelled to countries he had no intention of ever visiting. Because I want to.

he clears my plate/mug when removing his. Depending on the evening meal he will do his share of cooking and prep.

i hate peeling spuds but don’t mind peeling carrots, so he will do that if they are out.

he turns the bedroom tv off from standby if I’ve been watching it as he knows by midnight it will be irritating me.

Stands up to his mum when she's being difficult with me. Very logical man so if he can objectively see my point then I know my feelings are sound.

Makes tea in the morning, sees to our kiddo on early starts, does all the laundry and shopping, totally saved the day and held the fort when I had a catastrophic accident, always cheers me on, is gentle and cuddly and friendly, takes my bag, keeps his word, is always on time, encourages me to take it easy/take time out, mentions news he think I want to know, laughs at my jokes and makes me laugh and is a great dad and generous partner in so many ways. Oh and patient with my crazy family.

Love is quiet actions - little thoughtful things.

Generalising here, but the couples who do the loud public declarations or expensive showy stuff often don't seem to last.

Always kisses my head when he leaves for work before I’m up, I always feel it.

Mine does so many of these things.

But I also know that he isn't attracted to me and doesn't find me attractive and many of the small affections have disappeared, whilst everything else is still there.

It's a strange place to be with someone who behaves lovingly towards you and is supportive whilst knowing that there's something so fundamental missing.

My husband does exactly as he says he will. I’ve never had to question his word, I’ve never felt let down by him and his words match his actions.

He treats me like an equal partner and team mate in every part of life. He doesn’t expect me to juggle the house or baby, he knows they are both of our responsibilities.

He is my biggest cheerleader. He is always telling me how proud of me he is and what a great job I am doing with our new baby. He also does this when speaking to other people about me.

He shows me with affection. That could be a hug from behind when I’m rocking the baby’s cot or a hand hold when we’re out for a walk. It doesn’t all have to be about sex, just physical touch.

I think at times we don’t see the little things, I defrost his car when it’s winter, I get his favourite coffee when he runs out. He makes me a tea when he’s making one. I don’t know that we’d notice most little things unless one was gone. I think the words should be enough to be honest, and if you’re looking for the big shows then you’re looking at new couples or tv but not realising just being there can be enough. Oh and men thinking sex is a sign definitely don’t imo understand

Ps if he kept telling me he didn’t believe I loved him when I told I’d find that tough and think we weren’t doing great, sorry op