Signs your husband/partner loves you

[Lana20]

Hi everyone. A bit random but for me my husband saying he loves me isn’t enough so I always look to actions too. How do your husbands show you love? It’s just a general question out of curiosity. Thanks

You've have the stars but you still want the moon! What do you do to show your husband how much you love him?

Makes me a cup of tea every morning. Lets me lie in and gets up with DD even when it’s his turn because he wants me to rest. Gets up early in the winter to defrost my car (well less so now I work mostly from home, but if I need to drive he will). Makes a huge effort with my friends and family. Is proud of me and tells me/ others so. When I got my masters he framed the certificate and hung it on the wall without me even mentioning it, I just came home from work and saw it there. Holds my hand. Cooked and cleared up every meal when we went to the caravan the other week because he wanted me to have ‘a proper holiday’ after a really stressful few months at work. Doesn’t really care about birthdays but makes a fuss of mine because I do.

Lots of things.

No, I don’t expect it or particularly miss it. There’s occasional romantic gesture but it’s not hugely ‘us’ to be like that, I’d rather have the every day kindness and decency honestly. I think I’d think he’d been body swapped if he started sending me lovey dovey texts or popping champagne honestly.

for all the people who have lovely DH, have they always been like that. Did you ever have blips where you questioned things? I think I need either a little hope or a little acceptance

Asks about my day and actually listens. Encourages me to go off and be social even though he’s a hermit. Constantly affectionate. Sometimes calls/Voicenotes just to say I love you, or I appreciate you.

Consider the love language malarkey. Mine doesn’t tolerate it but there are clues… I think mine are partially from love, partially habit & control! (Acts of service)

Personally, I think the romantic gestures are the easy part. Flowers, chocolates, etc are just money. For me, the way my DH (retired) gets up at 6:30 am in the winter to make sure my car windscreen is clear and to warm the car up for me before I go to work is priceless.
I have been unwell for a few weeks now and the way he has looked after me is amazing - helped me get up and down stairs when I was struggling, cooked all my meals and not complained when I ended up being unable to eat them, he has taken care of my legs - washing them, putting on the cream and then the bandages, washed my hair for me. Generally, making sure all I have to do is rest so I get better. I'd rather have that than all the 'romantic' gestures in the world.

ETA a detail I left out on first go!

Was just thinking the same! I found it slightly depressing reading these. Makes me question if anyone has ever actually loved me 😂

Every day for work he fills my coffee mug and water bottle and puts them in my car.

Yes, we've had many a blip!

What a lovely thread 🙂.

My DP wouldn't dream of saying "I love you". But he brings me a cup of tea in bed every morning. And then my breakfast and another cup of tea ... that's three times up the stairs even though he has arthritis and it hurts him.
I haven't had an early start since pre-covid but he absolutely would warm my car up for me if I needed it.
He does all the shopping and brings me back little treats (a bunch of flowers or some Nuii ice creams).
He's good with my (adult) daughter and buys her little presents that might interest or amuse her, and stands up for me if she bitches (as in "I love the way your mum drives" when I made a particularly bad manouevre 😁).

It's really hard to describe what makes a relationship work. For me it's about feeling safe/secure in the relationship, that an argument isn't going to harm it for instance.

He scraps my car windows in the winter.

Does all the ironing/packing, cooks breakfast at weekend, does dishes every night, allows me to put cold feet on him, in bed, brings home fresh milk/fruit/veg daily, takes the bins oot, sorts holidays
I do everything else 😂
He couldn't do romance if it jumped up and kicked him in the balls 😂
Who needs romance when you have a real, sincere partnership

No, by the time we had our fourth date I could tell exactly what kind of man he was.

That was 16 years ago and he hasn’t changed at all.

Through all the challenges we have been through during our years together he has never once made me question that his priority is me and the children. Everything he does is for us and he puts us first, always. We are ridiculously lucky to have him ❤️

My dp had a really unwell mother when young and he had to do a lot of caring for her. He married a really nasty woman who emotionally/mentally bruised his heart.
But he's mine now 😍

We’ve definitely had blips.

But never blips that involved cheating, abuse, anything really nasty. He can be a grumpy git and he’s as capable as anyone else of being selfish or thoughtless at times (as am I). He still always brings me a cup of tea in bed even when he’s being a git. He’s not a mumsnet saint of a husband honestly, but things are calm and mostly good and we’re generally pretty kind to each other.

I've just worked 13 days straight. I got home today, had a lovely fakeaway cooked for me and I had a bottle of prosecco extra chilled.

Calling me when he’s at work, helping with the kids, looking after me when I’m ill. Those are a few things that make me feel loved

Romance is pretty minimal now for us. We say I love you a lot both face to face and when we message but beyond that there’s not a huge amount. We’re both exhausted from his work (Hes away a lot which is hard on him and I’m exhausted running the ship and managing the feelings of our 4 year old who still finds it really hard), having a 4 year old, etc. we always make time for each other. We are both gamers so when we’re done with our jobs and DDs asleep we’re often doing that together - I guess that’s our romance now 😂 it doesn’t bother us though and we often joke about it. We both appreciate and support each other, enjoy each others company and find each other attractive still, I can manage with the minimal romance.

(apologies on any typos or bad grammar - I need my bed haha)

Absolutely. There have been times where both of us have found it incredibly difficult and questioned our relationship. But I think what both of us have managed to do is listen to each other and work hard to strengthen our relationship. We’ve both had to take on board each other concerns and make changes to support each other. It’s definitely not been all sunshine and rainbows.

That being said, I think because we have listened and adapted and faced those difficult times, we have a great appreciation and respect for each other. We also know we can be very honest and open about issues so we can now talk things through and make things better before fights or problems start (which absolutely has not always been the case).

I complained about the price of Yorkshire Tea so stopped buying it and went cheaper brand. Still bought his expensive coffee. Next day after complaining a massive sack of Yorkshire Tea arrived from Amazon! When choosing a new place to eat out he always checks the menu to see if my favourite foods are on it. Stuff like that. Small stuff, means a lot!

ExH. Would always pursue his own interests, said he loved me - but not enough to do family things. With DP we share a lot of laughter, he makes me tea in the mornings, takes on a lot of things I can’t do with my arthritic joints. We have discussions, but can happily be doing our own thing in different parts of the house. We ALWAYS remember our ’anniversary’ after it has passed because neither of us is entirely sure when we changed from talking over the garden fence to having a relationship. This year we’ve been together 28 years and we still wonder about the odds of meeting each other with similar interests and being so happy.

Let's me choose where we go on holiday.
Let's me sleep in.

My hubby does this as I hate it. Funny how one person likes sonwthing another doesn't

No, that sort of thing just happens at the beginning of a relationship. It isn't going to carry on ad infinitum. Other things happen instead, like bringing you a cup of tea in bed every morning, or buying you a random surprise Terry's chocolate orange for no reason, like DH did today.