Am I overthinking this man from online dating after one date?

[Badgertime]

Long time single (10/11 years) although did some online dating last year which was pretty hideous.
I went back on to have a look a week or so ago and nearly came straight back off but started chatting to one guy.

It's been difficult after so long out of a relationship to know if I'm analysing things too much or being picky over silly things.

So we chatted over Whatsapp a few days and one evening I casually asked 'how's the dating gone so far?' A silly, awkward question I know but I was kind of searching for things to say and I've usually been asked it before myself and not really minded.
He went quiet a while then texted back 'that's irrelevant' and ' so are we going on a date or not?'
I just replied and felt a bit silly.

So we went out on one date which went fairly well and we chatted over a drink.
Then he starts calling me 'beautiful' and 'babe' in texts as pet names which has really thrown me as I'm not even one for pet names during a relationship let alone after one date. Plus I'm 45 years old!
That actually pissed me off and I don't really know how to address it so have just ignored it.
Then he asked if we could hook up today (3 days after 1st date) which I said OK to and he asked me if I had any dresses and that he'd like to see me wearing a dress.
That pissed me off again as imo I wear what i want for someone who doesn't even know me (I do dress up and by no means wore trashy clothes on the first date but kept it smart and low key).

I had a bad day at work and didn't feel well today and just didn't feel well enough to go out on a date and apologised to him. He was OK with this and wasn't angry but started saying I could go to his place instead where it was warm and chilled out. I declined saying i would be going to bed early.

He then referenced me going over to his place again next time which I find unsettling after a first date as I made it clear in out conversation I was in no rush to get into a relationship and took things slow. There is no way I'd go to a guy's house on a second date now (I have 3 teenage children so very different to when I was younger and single). It scares the hell out of me now!

Am I reading too much into these comments or should I be careful?

I feel really irritated by his “wear a dress” request. Total ick.

I’d be tempted to send him a list of clothes you’d like him to wear “I’m just thinking I’d like to see you in some beige chino shorts, a white linen shirt, one of those navy Ralph Lauren jumpers around your shoulders. And maybe some brown leather sandals, but maybe wax your toes first!”.

Then follow up 10 mins later with “Actually, I don’t think this look would suit you. I’m not feeling a connection. Let’s pass! Good luck” 😂

Arsehole.

I find it of some concern that you haven’t mentioned anything you are attracted to or like about this man but were still willing to go on two dates with him.
You don’t have to agree to meet any man that shows some (minimal) interest in you, you are of high worth and you dating is about meeting someone to enhance your life not to just have anyone and to fulfil their needs.

Online dating is a cess pit and can also be soul destroying.

I learnt this the hard way but went on to meet the most wonderful person.

I think you need to set your bar unbelievably high and absolutely know your worth.
In middle age so many men online have either been ditched by a long suffering wife and they are looking for a replacement carer or they have had some midlife moment and think they are gods gift and just want to get through as many women and experiences as they can.
You need to arm yourself with all the knowledge you possibly can and accept no compromises whatsoever.

All of this would piss me off. He’s rude, misogynistic and just after sex. Get rid!

Oh, HELL NO!

He went quiet a while then texted back 'that's irrelevant' and ' so are we going on a date or not?'

I would have blocked him instantly after that. Who the fuck does he think he is, to snap at you like that? You asked the question, so it wasn't irrelevant to you - he is telling you what to think.

Then he starts calling me 'beautiful' and 'babe' in texts as pet names

That's so inappropriate after one date!

he asked me if I had any dresses and that he'd like to see me wearing a dress

Who the hell does this "man" think he is? This is so bossy and controlling - after one date too!

He was OK with this and wasn't angry but started saying I could go to his place instead where it was warm and chilled out

He was trying to get you there for sex. But any man should know that it's wildy inappropriate to suggest this after one date - he could be a murderer!

Am I reading too much into these comments or should I be careful?

Honestly, you are under reacting in my view. He sounds like a controlling creep.