Sisters DH using AI to change images of a girl they know

[50sandFabulous]

Really need some opinions on this. My sister is not on MN. I told her to join and post for advice, but I know she won’t have time.

I will show her the responses if I feel she needs it. She’s definitely being gaslit by her DH right now!!

So, my Sister (51) walked into her husband‘s (50) office yesterday, and saw an image on his laptop screen, of a young woman blowing a kiss. He could not close the image fast enough. It was a work laptop and I don’t really understand how it works, nor does she, however the image seemed to disappear behind another document so my sister could still see the out line of the photo. He then quickly deleted it properly.

There was something in the photo that rang bells in my sister’s mind, and it made her think of a birthday party that they had been to a couple of years ago. And she thought that she knew who the girl was in the photo. She was correct. It is her best friends daughter (21 now, 19 at the time the photo was taken).

My sister has been with her husband for 19 years, and when they met, this girl was 2 years old, and she calls him uncle.

Her husband has deleted the other three people in the photo (Mum dad and sibling) and has then put this photo into Gemini with the instruction to “make this photo sexy”. Which has resulted in the image being sexualised with three different photos, one with a sexy pose with the legs crossed, another with her bending forward and blowing a kiss, and then a third with her back to the camera with her looking over her shoulder.

When my sister was on the school run, her husband has gone scorched earth and deleted every photo on the laptop, so it’s now almost back to factory settings - this is of course making her think that there are even more photos, or worse photos that were there.

They are now at complete stalemate, with him saying you are overreacting, I was just messing around with Gemini, to her thinking, why have you sexualised photographs of someone who has been in your life since she was 2 and who calls you uncle, and how are they ever supposed to socialise around this family now given that they are all exceptionally close basically like family.

Prior to this they have been the perfect family unit. Lovely house, 3 perfect kids, no money worries. There is so much at stake.

What are your thoughts? My tummy is spinning.

Well he’s definitely not

My sis actually said this.

I agree. If he’s capable of doing this to someone he’s known since she was a baby, the police need eyes on that laptop immediately. Disgusting perv. I hope your sister leaves him immediately.

It's just horrible and there are NO mitigating circs for it.

It is exactly what it looks like. He's got the hots for this 19 year old who he's known since she was 2.

🤮

I'm so sorry for your sister - but it sounds like she's a strong woman who isn't going to let this slide. What a crushing revelation, though. Nearly two decades happily together, and he ruins it all by doing that. It must be devastating.

He simply fancies this lady. Likes how she looks now that she’s grown-up. Icky but many middle aged men are. You see many in their mid 40s targeting those in their 20s.

You said he’s lovely - could he just be having fun seeing what AI can do?

It isn’t right of course, he’s married, shouldn’t be ogling young ladies or distorting pictures of females but the technology is there now to create your own porn and he’s obviously decided to give it try. Could have chosen a picture of his wife to experiment with though.

Holy minimisation, Batman!

oh my god, we all need to delete every photo of ourselves from the internet

Ewww what a disgusting creep 🤢 I'm sorry to say, if my DH had done this, I would never be able to look at him the same way again. Taking an image of a young woman he's known since the age of 2 and sexualising that image for his own masturbatory fantasies is such a gross violation! Imagine how that young woman would feel if she knew 😳

I think your sister has enough information to decide that she doesn't want to be married to a disgusting creepy pervert any more.

I could cry

If there was nothing untoward about what he was doing, he wouldn't have deleted everything.

She shouldn't get diverted or stopped by his blustering, because that's all it is.

Well, you thought he was....

Fucking hell im trying to manage this and I think I’d want to chop DH’s bloody balls off.

Is this your DH @50sandFabulous?

It is unlikely that this is the first time he's done this sort of thing. If he's deleted his entire history on there, chances are that there are others, and they could quite possibly be worse.

Utterly grim. I wonder what the young woman's parents would think if they found out?

Your poor sister 💐

That’s what the loved ones of creeps always think. Lovely men don’t do this. Im sorry but they don’t.

This is so disturbing! Your poor sister - I think it's "leave him" territory

No he is not, ffs.

What is your immediate reaction on hearing this story / scenario? Without thinking, your first reaction was ... ? That reaction brought you here to MN.

This is not a lovely man. I say this example is the tip of a fucking iceberg. I myself am coming to terms with what is known as cognitive dissonance - involving many people. Your idea in your mind is being contradicted by visceral feelings or real life experiences with this person. So you are in one sense downplaying the horrible truth of what this man is by calling this man lovely. Because I'm sure he acts lovely in multiple settings.

He's creepily sinister doing this - and I don't want to think how much further things go in terms of his mentality, what he's capable of, what else he's done, whether he's somewhere in the dark triad personality type and how much may he have manipulated your sister in other ways.

I would leg it as far as humanly possible. But you can't force your sister to truly see and accept the depths of this. Sometimes, probably often actually, the messenger gets shot.

All you can do is speak the truth to your sister e.g - this is absolutely not ok what x name has done and is in my view pretty concerning behaviour.

He should have chosen a picture of himself if he wanted to experiment.

He's deleted the photos locally, but he will without a doubt have them saved in a cloud account somewhere.

Even better!

He's known this girl since she was TWO YEARS OLD. Now he's imagining fucking her.

He really isn't a lovely man.

If one of my friends husbands played around with a photo of my daughter like this I would be disgusted and never speak to him again - or his wife if she stayed with him.

If my kids asked why we didn't see them any more, I'd tell them that he was making sexy pictures of young women, so they'd know he was a creep.

This is a huge breach of trust.

He’s not the loveliest man because he has done this. I found out that a close family member is a paedophile, had, made and shared images - and has been jailed recently. It was a bolt from the blue. He was supposedly a lovely man and brilliant with kids. When the evidence is found they fucking show themselves for who they really are.