I had an affair and lost every one

[amonthtogo]

I know I deserve everything I get but…

I was married for 15 years, two teenage dc, sexless marriage no love, affection, slept in separate beds, more like house mates. A friend of mine shown interest and one thing led to another and I was seeing him behind my DH back. I did after a few weeks tell DH who wouldn’t accept it and carried on as if nothing had happened.

family and friends found out and have all stopped talking to me.

the affair is still going on and DH is acting as if everything is ok. Im stuck. If I had somewhere to leave to I would but I don’t have anywhere to go

OP, do you think your husband cares about this? It's not clear from your post whether he's deluding himself or whether he actually doesn't care.

It's quite simple to separate initially - you simply tell him that your relationship is over and then you may have to live separated but under the same roof for a while until everything else is sorted out. But he can't force you to continue being in a relationship with him. I'm slightly bemused as to why you didn't tell him this (that your relationship was over) when you told him about the affair, if your intention was to continue it. Because surely at the point you told him, you were either saying to him, I've done this, I've made a terrible mistake and I want to save our marriage, or you were saying, it's over. Since you've continued seeing the other man since, I'm assuming you were saying it's over to your H when you told him - or perhaps you wanted him to say this to you? Why exactly did you tell him and what response were you looking for?