I'm the OW. He ended it.

[NeverEverLand37]

I know I'm going to be torn apart but I need some support.

I left an abusive relationship.

Then I got involved with a married man. I knew it was wrong but I loved him. It went on for a year. He has now ended it.

I feel broken. Does anyone have any advice on how I can move forward?

And you are showing your own lack of morals too

Lack of morals for calling someone out for what they are?!
Fuck that.
It is what it is, they are what they are.
Let's not worry about hurting the feelings of those that had no regards for anyone else's.

You've completely missed the point: she's not the one being cheated on.

I’m cringing for you.

For everyone who has been deeply betrayed by their disgusting cheating husbands- if you create your own support group, or take your anger out on something else, I promise you you’ll feel so much better than coming on this particular thread to stick the boot into the OP.

She knows her actions were wrong. You just look unhinged as fuck coming on here to call her a “slag”.

I think if your last relationship was an abusive one it isn’t unheard of that you’ve developed secrecy as a habit. You have had to be secretive about abuse, you are conditioned to act in secrecy and so this is probably an extension of this behaviour that is influencing your actions still. Start believing that you deserve more than to carry grubby secrets for others. This man was no good. Get some therapy, which will help you see your own worth in future.

You are clearly very bitter and projecting your own feelings onto the OP in the most horrible way you can think of.

I actually can’t believe the superiority complex of some of the people on this website. You should feel ashamed of yourself for being a grown adult cyberbullying someone that came here for support like a bitchy teenager.

Ick to you too, I think your post says more about your moral character than the OP’s.

I have zero tolerance for cheaters like many people do.
Zero.
There is never an excuse for it. But when you state that the supporters come in as you have.

Zero tolerance for cheaters or anyone who supports them. You clearly have questionable morals too.

So I won't engage further.

Lucky you.

I have never cheated and have in fact been cheated on, it’s painful to experience and an awful thing to do to someone. In that sense I also have a zero tolerance for it.

Op isn’t actually the cheater here but I understand feeling uncomfortable with someone being an affair partner but to express it like that is just awful. Did it make you feel better?

You don’t have to respond but you also don’t have to express your hateful feelings towards a random stranger. Your posts read like you’ve had one too many wines and got in your feelings about someone else’s life because you’re upset about your own. Therapy would be a lot more productive, and maybe feel better, than bullying.

Just be glad it was a year not a decade. I know someone who spent her thirties chasing around after a married guy and then got ditched. Grim all round.

When you see how bitter some people are, you start to have more understanding and sympathy for the partner who cheated on them in the first place.

OP you probably didn’t even know the married man. He will have lied through his teeth to you. He will have shown you this amazing caring fun side and that’s what you loved. But in reality he’s a cheating lying piece of shit. You were in love with a fantasy, that wasn’t the real him. Is a man who carries on behind his wife’s back for a year really worth your love?

You do understand how events in a timeline can have a causal effect, right?

FAFO

oh yes, I am sure they were an absolute delight and that's why their partner decided to move on.

I will never understand the reason posters call women who would never dream of entering into a relationship with a married man bitter. A married adonis could offer me the world on a plate. If he suggested having an affair with me I would tell him in no uncertain terms no & I would make it completely clear so it wouldn't happen again. Why on earth are those who feel the same accused of being bitter. I honestly don't get it.

Only on mumsnet, eh !

Only under the anoniminity can ow support one another and absolve themselves from blame of any kind.
It is abuse and ow are complicit. By twisting the narrative you are still acting abusive, but only on here, in the real world you are silent, with no sympathy no kinds words when discarded, except for a few deluded friends who lie about your suffering.

Very sad, that you believed these bored males and wished upon wishes that they loved you more than life itself, a bit like their wives and children did, oh arn't we all fools, nevermind at least you didn't lose as much as the wives.

There will always be ow willing to believe nonsense and bad husbands and fathers who deight in meeting women will no moral compass, they really should always find each other, be on each others level but the men never seem to want them fulltime and forever, it's a shame because they never get to experience the full betrayal experience back at them.

I wish you cheaters well, find each other, lie to each other, try to remain together and op I'm sorry you didn't get the chance to remain with yours, it truly would have been better getting this snake out of his home and away from his family.

I suggest trying again and put your all into it next time.

Good luck.

Oh, I see, you actually don't.

I don't believe it's people morally opposed to cheating who are being called "bitter'. No one is advocating cheating.

Read the threads, it's the ones going on insane bitter rants insulting everyone who are exactly that. bitter, and resentful. And blaming everyone else but themselves in the process.

To get over a man you need to get under another !

I don’t think they’re calling women who would never dream of being an OW bitter.

They’re calling the abusive women on here bitter. The ones that are calling the OP a “slag” and vilifying her, projecting their own feelings as some have shared their own stories of being cheated on.

Being cheated on is truly awful and I hope everyone who has been cheated on has found the strength and dignity to leave and move on. But coming on here to call the OP a “slag” etc, “fuck around find out” isn’t needed. It makes posters look bitter.

If anyone should be abusing the OP, it’s the man’s wife. Not strangers on the internet.

OP the guys the sort of cunt that cheats on his wife, he was never a keeper. He said he loved you but he didn't mean it, it just suited him in the same way he told his wife he'd be faithful and wasn't. He's a selfish user and it was always going to end in tears.

Please just find someone lovely with no baggage, you'll be happier not having to play the pick me if you've genuinely been picked. Xx

It's pure jealousy from ow because they didn't get the husband, they acuse wives of being bitter and hard done by because they are not allowed to have feelings, support and sympathy when they are dumped.

They ycovet everthing about the wife status, even the discard.

It really is a lowly existance.

Never said you cheated.. I said anyone who supports it is just as bad.
I didn't read the rest of your tripe as I will ALWAYS call out cheating and I will never associate with anyone I know personally who has done it.
That is my choice and your word salad won't change that.

Enjoy.