Partner repeatedly walks out after disagreements, leaving me with baby

[Girlmumof5]

Hey everyone.

Im looking for advice although I think I know what you’ll all say.

my partner of 2 years constantly walks out leaving me with baby, the slightest disagreement and he’s off to his mums sometimes for days with no contact then comes back and no apology. I know I should not be allowing this to happen more than once!

I’m starting to feel like a pushover and very anxious as to when he will up and go again! He has left again tonight. I work and it’s affecting my work as he looks after baby my working days. Any advice appreciated!

It's a very new relationship, still in the honeymoon phase, this is as good as he gets.
Text him that he is not to enter your property again and he can use a parenting app for all communication about raising his child.

Set up some childcare for your working days. Apply for CMS.

Tell him he’s no longer welcome back in your home.

My god what is wrong with these men these days? Walking out and leaving you and his child for days over a disagreement is just something else.

Clearly the bloke is a man child and doesn’t care so I would get rid of him and tell him he can stay at his mummy’s home permanently.

Ermmm what has any of what you just asked got to do with the situation OP is asking about? Her background on how many kids she has, how long she’s been with him and how fast she got pregnant has literally nothing to do with this man child going back to mummies and running away from his responsibilities?

Take his keys off him and have his stuff packed for mummy to come collect. Let him going get parented instead of parenting and file for maintenance. Honestly it can be better off doing it alone sometimes.

Truly you would be better off. Who needs their head messed with on top of having a baby to worry about? This is NOT how fatherhood should look. Fuck him!

What a jerk. My ex used to storm off if things weren't going his way. You need someone reliable and stable, not huffy-huffy man. I agree that he is a failure to launch. Honestly, you'll feel better once you get rid.

Tell him if he does it again he can’t come back. That you can’t rely on him for childcare so will need to sort out nursery / childminder.

Change the locks, apply for CMS. Onwards abd upwards!

Change the locks next time

End things. Claim cms.

I have been in your shoes OP and it went on for around 4 years. It was only when I refused to let him come back that he changed. It took a few weeks of me refusing for reality to sink in that I was being serious and was willing to let the relationship go unless change happened. I didn't allow him back for 4 months.
I bagged all his stuff up and had it gone out my house in the first week. When I allowed him back it was him and a few days of stuff only. He could move all his things back in properly once he had 100% proven he was done with his attention seeking flouncing out the door.
Its been 3 years now. If there is an issue that needs to be discussed and it gets too much for him, he will asked to pause and come back to the conversation. Takes the dog a walk for an hour and comes back usually ready to pick back up on the problem. He hasn't ran back to mummys at all in that time.

This!

Did he act like this during conflict before the baby was born?

I'm happy to say it’s my house and car and I pay the bills also. So it shouldn’t upset the apple cart too much. When he is gone the atmosphere in the house also leaves.

Don’t let him back in. Pack his stuff up and leave it on the doorstep or get his mum to pick it up. He’s pathetic.

What a pathetic human being he is. How would you even want to stay with him. He doesn’t want you arguing with him in the slightest - wants everything his own way - pathetic partner and I imagine a pretty useless father too.

as already suggested change the locks, tell him the relationship is done, claim CMS and have a happy life without the arse!

If it’s your house etc then send him a message saying “ collect your stuff on xxx day , things are over “ change the locks . That’s it

If you've got a boy, he'll learn that this is what he should do. If you've got a girl, she'll learn that this is what she deserves. Neither of those outcomes is desirable so you should take control of the narrative. Either he does some serious work on his resilience or he can stay with his mum.

You work and have all finances sorted why are you even asking it's obvious you end it.

If he's free to mind your child while you work, does he work himself? Is he contributing to bills? If not then he's just a cocklodger, not a partner.

I too would change the locks today. Once that's done message him to say don't bother coming back and arrange a time for him to collect his belongings which you'll have bagged up. Also get on to CMS to get the ball rolling for child support.

He's a waster and a mummy's boy. His mother is no better - says she doesn't want to get involved but enables his behaviour by collecting him and then taking him to lunch.

He sounds just like my exh but i always took the key before he left so he couldn't just walk back in. That was till i had enough!I asked him to leave a couple of years ago after yet another argument and never let him back! He was living with his mother up till the start of this year. He refused to get his own place because he was convinced i would take him back, like the hundreds of other times i did. I claimed cms and never looked back.I just wish i had done it sooner. It was the best decision ever never letting him back.

Not sure what advice you want. He keeps doing this, you allow him back in. He won’t change his ways, so you either need to put up with it or put your foot down and if he leaves again he’s gone for good. Scare the shit out of him!!

End this
its not worth it and emotionally soul destroying

Rebuild with you and your baby

i did it and it has been life changing

I was you OP (but married, disabled & had 2 SN babies). He WON'T change. Get rid of him. It took me FAR too many years.

When he is gone the atmosphere in the house also leaves.
There you go. You can free yourself from this permanently.
He doesn't want to be an adult and a father, and his mother doesn't want him to be an adult and a father. If you cut your losses now, it will be better for you and your baby than letting the relationship limp on.