Really struggling to work out what’s “fair” and it’s causing a lot of resentment on both sides.
My DH works full time standard office hours (never home later than 6pm) - he does not want to change this.
I work equivalent to four day week but I contribute the same money so he is not financially enabling my reduced hours - I have flexibility in my job so he doesn’t have to worry about school pick ups / holiday child care so I sometimes don’t have a day off in the week or it gets taken up with things like dentist / sports day etc. I admit I do sometimes see friends / parents in week. We both agree it didn’t work when I worked full time and we don’t particularly need more money.
In my opinion I do nearly everything else - I cook every night, clean (could do better on cleaning but what gets done i do), wash, iron, shop, do all life admin and finances, do all homework / kids stuff, sort holidays etc etc
He does the dishes, puts the bin out, mows the lawn once a fortnight and reads DD a bedtime story plus does occasional DIY stuff (like 4 times a year will do something big like paint a shed).
I think chores should be split a least a bit closer to 50/50 since we contribute the same money and I don’t see why me having some time off means he doesn’t have to do anything domestic, he’d have to do everything if he was single and would still work. He thinks he does his fair share and moans about what I don’t do “properly”. How do we resolve and AIBU?