Interfering, childless friends!!

[mum2toby]

I don't know if anyone has the same problem, but I have many friends who do not have children, but seem to put it upon themselves to tell me how I should or shouldn't be doing stuff!!

Like quoting statistics about the dangers of having diamorphine during labour. How it can affect the way you bond with your baby. And how they "would NEVER have drugs during labour."

Or saying things like "Oh should you be feeding him baked beans, they are full of salt and I read that......" blah blah blah. My son is 19 mths old and a few baked beans once a week is not going to damage his kidneys!!!

Why do these women think they have the right or the knowledge to comment! Have they been through the agony of labour and child birth? Have
they been so sleep deprived that they could scream for hours!!

Have they ever had a toddler who won't eat??

They answer is NO! So keep your nose out I say!

I have at least 3 friends who are like this. If I hear once more that I should "just leave him to cry during the night" I will slap one of them. How do they know what it's like to just want a nights sleep??

Just wait until they have kids and we'll see how disciplined they are and how tidy their houses are and how much sleep they get!!

So a message to all the interfering women out there who have no children:

"STOP CRITICISING US PARENTS AND KEEP YOUR OPINIONS TO YOURSELF UNTIL YOU HAVE THE EXPERIENCE TO COMMENT"

...aaah that's better.

My mother alienated nearly all her family when she said no children at her (second) wedding. After knowing the children concerned I can't say I blame her as nearly all of them were right brats. We went to my friend's wedding with ds and didn't know whether to laugh or die of embarrassment when at the end of the service when they were pronounced man and wife ds said oh good its over in a really loud voice (of course). On a personal note if dp and me get married I'd prefer to have a child-free wedding but thats because I don't particularly like other people's children.

Our wedding was pretty much child free only because we didn't know anyone with children when we got married (I am oldest of my siblings and cousins, dh doesn't seem to have any relations!). Since our children were born we have been invited to several weddings, and I have to say I have far better enjoyed the ones to which we were all invited. Our children a re pretty flexible and so don't worry about changes in mealtimes etc (or are fairly easily bribed by a breadstick or a chocolate button!!), and I feel it is a great thing for them to experience. We were at a wedding in Italy in October and took the children - I don' tthink I saw ds all day except when he needed my boobs (!) - he was 8 months then. Dd was brilliant, and even now she talks about the day regularly, loves looking at photos of it and wants us to tell her the story of what happened. It was a great experience for everyone!
We were invited to 2 child free weddings in May and June of last year, but I took that to mean 'child free except for my baby who is still breastfeeding' and took him along anyway (on both occasions leaving dd with her adoring auntie who took her to the zoo and fed her crisps all day) and no-one had the cheek to challenge me on it - even when ds was breastfed in the church and at the table during the meal. I supose they couldn't really have minded that much!

Susan I would definitely say that a breastfed baby is in a different category to a toddler/older child.

suedonnim I was at a wedding last year in Toronto where they did that singing songs with the word "love" in them . (excuse poor sentance construction)
I thought it was a fabulous tradition.

On the no kids thing, I was at a fabulous wedding earlier this month where the bride and groom requested no kids at the ceremony ( held in the hote) amd arranged and paid for childcare in the hotel creche for everyone's children! It was fantastic.

Susanmt I would definately assume a breastfed babe in arms did not count as he/she would not be occupying a place and could be carried out if they started to yell.

Another thought about having children at a wedding is the cost, so many of the hotels just count 'bums on seats' and it doesn't matter whether that bum is 2 years old or 32 years old they still charge the same £50 a head or whatever. For some people that cost implication could be out of the question.

When I got married 20 years ago I had no children at my wedding because I didn't want my parents to have to fork up another £1000 which then, was a lot of money - the deposit on our first flat!!

Jasper & Bozza - not everyone sees it that way (b/f babes in arms being an exception) ds was banned from friends wedding at 3 1/2 months - realistically, that meant I couldn't go either.

Jasper, it sounds as though it is a Canadian custom, then. I wonder where/when it originated, exactly? The bride's family used to live in Canada so I guess that's how it got transferred to staid Edinburgh! Everyone got really involved and the tables were trying to outdo each other. I think my table sung three songs (I have to mime as I cannot sing a note!) - great fun!

We've been to a couple of weddings in Canada and not come across the love song thing before.

Alibubbles.... £1000 is STILL a lot of money!! The deposit on my first flat, which was only 3 years ago was only £720!!

Anyway, back to the wedding thing...
..My best friend asked me to be chief bridesmaid at her wedding. I was pregnant at the time, but we calculated the baby would be about a year old by the time the wedding came around. She told me that I couldn't take the baby!! So ds was banned from the wedding before he was even born! To make matters worse the wedding ended up heaving with kids!!! Hmph....highly peeved!

We're still best friends though and the wedding was fab.

On the no kids theme, we recently went to a no kids party where childcare had been arranged. Secretly, I had no intention of leaving them with someone I hadn't met and was going to sneak them into an upstairs bedroom, but it was just as well. The childcare facilities were situated in some log cabins 2 miles away, freezing cold and heated with tiny fan heaters. The carers were 16 yr olds. Unbelievably, one couple tried to leave their 3yrs and 8month olds in this situation, but the resulting hulabaloo meant that they ended up sneaking them into the party, just like us. By 10pm, the place was running with kids. My, did I snigger..........