What is a fair contribution when moving into a partner's mortgage-free flat?

[Numberwang66]

Hi all. I'm moving in with my boyfriend in June. We both live in London.

He is incredibly fortunate to own his flat and has no mortgage. Just bills and a very hefty service charge that crops up every 4 months or so.

We are due to have a conversation about rent/payment. How much do you think is an acceptable monthly rate? He floated the idea of a rental payment, plus splitting bills. I initially agreed to this, but after a bit more thought I am now unsure as he doesn't have a mortgage to pay.

He is a super lovely and communicative guy so I'm not stressed about the upcoming conversation but any advice would be super welcome. Thank you!

Why should she pay rent? There is zero cost involved. He is not financially worse off if she moves in. A share of the bills/ charges every month according to income would be fair. She is his partner and he is not trying to teach her a life lesson.

A cocklodger expects the woman to pay for everything. If OP pays a share of his costs, she is not clitlodging or whatever it is called.

But if she doesn't pay rent she's profiting from him.

Half of all bills and service charge etc. he benefits by getting those costs reduced, you benefit by having lower monthly outgoings than you previously paid. As others have said just make sure you’re savvy and save it towards your future.

Obviously you should pay your way, but you should both be better off from living together.

I don't think you should pay "rent" to him because you're a couple and who pays to share someone's bed?

Presumably you're both planning this to be for the long haul, maybe marriage & kids in future? So you need to establish something fair, which doesn't necessarily mean something blindly 50/50.

I think a conversation about relative incomes, current bills and expenses, and what your mutual long-term goals are is in order.

You also need a conversation about who does what at home and compare cleaning standards, so you don't end up running round picking up after him or vice versa..

I don’t get this not paying rent
you can’t live anywhere for free especially not London I would look very differently at someone expecting to freeload

OP could easily be paying 1k a month renting a room somewhere in London. And even more if she is in her own flat

And he could also argue that he could rent out the second room and have a lodger

i would say half of the council tax
half of all the bills ( with the exception that if he has an expensive sports package on tv I wouldn’t want to pay half of that 😂)

and then a small amount towards living there
say 200 -250
that will still be a lot cheaper than anywhere else in London

I wouldnt be paying for any finishing / service charge maintenance of the flat

op will be better off as she hasn’t got as much to pay out so she could still save out towards her own savings

it doesn’t matter if he is mortgage free or not

if it was me and they didn’t want to pay a small contribution to living there then I wouldn’t have them moving in at all
and probably the relationship wouldn’t go a much further

If there is no rent or mortgage surely you say as a couple you have no rent or mortgage then both pay half of everything else? He’s not your landlord!! I agree make sure you’re saving into a fund for yourself should it all fall through

Why should he profit from you?

50% of all bills including service charge.

Put what you would be paying rent somewhere else into your savings account.

Why should she profit from him

Thank you all, this has been massively helpful.

Main takeaways are

1. low rent, if anything
2. splitting bills/service charge
3. make sure I squirrel money away in a pot in case this relationship goes kaput

Talk about the whole thing, OP - incomes/outgoings, household chores, life goals, where the relationship is heading.

You're not flatmates.

You need to be practical. I would seek legal advice and you both have a cohabitation agreement drawn up with a solicitor. In the event this relationship ends suddenly or otherwise badly both of you are then protected.

What will be the spilt re the housework chores?.

I would say half of utility bills only plus half the rent that you are paying at the moment, so you share the financial benefit of you moving in. You are both then better off each month. And you can put your savings towards a deposit for your own place or to buy with him at a later date

I would specify that it is utilities only and you are not paying a share of service charge. Service charges can be very unstable and go up, there may be a rebate later down the line that he gets and doesn’t pass back, or it makes it ambiguous if the service charge is insufficient and there is a cash call- you absolutely don’t want him thinking this is partly your responsibility.

You should pay half the bills including service charge. But then I'd be looking to get your own property as an investment / backup.

What does the service charge cover exactly?

If you pay rent he could save that money as well as continuing to own the property which would presumedly increase in value over time.

Meanwhile you'd have far less cashflow and if you split likely leave with very little. That doesn't sound fair.

If you have children your ability to work would likely be impacted.

I wouldn't be putting myself in such a vulnerable situation. He can kick you out with zero notice. He should rent his flat out and you rent somewhere together.

Too many variables to offer comment on specifics BUT, my rule of thumb is that BOTH partners should benefit in similar ways from the agreement to move in together.

So, for example, if you've been paying a large rent or mortgage payment that you now DO not have to pay, and are therefore saving £xx per month, but you moving in only saves him a small amount in the form of slightly reduced bills, then yes, it's not fair.

Similarly, if yoyu have been paying rent and then pay him a similar amount so he is now better off to the total you are paying while you are only better off to the small amount of reduced bills.... then that's not fair either

exactly how it plays out depends entirely on the situation but if you aim for similar benefits, then it can be worked out in a way tha tmakes most sense for both of you.

You should both be better off for living together is how I think of it. So he gets some support to bills and costs and maybe extra and you get a much cheaper living cost than you had renting. I’d not be keen to pay much rent but maybe cover another bill of something (and save the extra!)

I think half the bills and service charge and a bit extra a month for wear and tear on the understanding that he buys and owns any extras/redecoration etc. With what you are saving, you will be able to build up decent savings/contribute to another property you might want to buy together in a few years.

So the OP gets to live rent free then??

what nonsense is this

She's not moving in as a flatmate or lodger, she's moving in as a partner. You don't shag your landlord.

It's a different set of expectations, they'll share a bed and will cooking for each other, sharing chores, sharing lives, probably with a view to building a future together, making it permanent.

Of course she should pay her way, but things like their relative incomes and the lifestyle they want to have together matter. There might be extra costs or disadvantages as well as benefits to moving in with him.

This was my set up with DH (then boyfriend) many years ago. We split the bills and SC. There was no discussion of paying rent and the idea of that is completely repugnant to me.

Tricky

I’d have a better answer if I knew there was a plan for you to buy together later down the line

As I’m sure at some point u want your name on a mortgage

Even if you did you should only pay half bills and some service charge

If yoy move its likely he will draw up an agreement securing his part of the deposit and you’d be paying half of that mortgage

Why do you think she should live in someone else’s property rent free?

If she didn’t move in, she’d have to house herself.

They are not married.

Why should she live there at no cost - especially in London?

Can you explain your thinking?

Nope the service charge is a bill! The residents split cost of running a lift and heating the corridors which she will be using every day

It genuinely needs to be beneficial for you both. I would take what you pay now for rent and bills and then take some off. So say if you’re rent and bills are £2000 a month currently. Pay him £1200 a month. You are massively better off and he has something coming in too,

People saying he shouldn’t be profiting, but why does OP get to profit?