What is a fair contribution when moving into a partner's mortgage-free flat?

[Numberwang66]

Hi all. I'm moving in with my boyfriend in June. We both live in London.

He is incredibly fortunate to own his flat and has no mortgage. Just bills and a very hefty service charge that crops up every 4 months or so.

We are due to have a conversation about rent/payment. How much do you think is an acceptable monthly rate? He floated the idea of a rental payment, plus splitting bills. I initially agreed to this, but after a bit more thought I am now unsure as he doesn't have a mortgage to pay.

He is a super lovely and communicative guy so I'm not stressed about the upcoming conversation but any advice would be super welcome. Thank you!

He will benefit by having someone to share the bills.

I'm in a similar but reverse situation. If DP moved in and paid half my bills I'd be hugely better off.

Half of everything including the service fee. If you were male the answers would all be saying this.

This! You should both be roughly equally better off from the situation

If this is a long term relationship with a view to permanence I’d be looking at how you could contribute to your joint future property. I would not pay rent, but I would pay an equivalent amount into a savings pot earmarked for a larger property. He may be mortgage free now but if you decided you needed eg a family home things could change.

The general consensus in these threads is 1/2 bills and 1/2 market rent or there cock lodgers

Everything split down the middle is fair. You pay half the bills and the service charge. You are massively better off not having to pay rent. He is better off as you’re paying half his bills and service charge. That’s your “rent”.

I lived with an ex who had no mortgage. Previously, he’d had a friend living with him. I paid him what the friend had been paying (which was more than half his bills but I didn’t want him to be worse off living with me). We split the food shopping down the middle, too. I was benefiting from less outgoings and he was also benefiting by not losing that income.

With the money you’ll be saving in rent, put it into a savings account so you have access to your own funds, should you wish to move out of you want to put a deposit down on a house together in the future.

@Numberwang66I think you should pay half the bills and half the service charge, no rent.
I don’t have much experience because culturally renting or mortgages aren’t the norm where I live so it isn’t the same.
I can’t imagine a man taking money from a woman who lives with him when he doesn’t need it. That’s because in my culture it’s acknowledged that women in a marriage with children are disadvantaged and it needs to be addressed.

If the relationship is not a serious one on either side , then that’s perfectly fine, but if it’s hopefully leading to something more, then I would be noticing how this issue is resolved.

Depends on yours and his income and situation? You both earn the same or similar then 50/50 on all bills ground rent and house hold expense. If something needs fixing or updating I’d want to pay half but have a say in the decor etc. new household things would be half each too for me.

I’d want to save significantly as well and tell him it’s for us both, but also a fund incase you split up.

I was in a similar situation and didn’t pay my then boyfriend’s mortgage but saved each month and we spent it on a wedding and then in a new house. I also solely funded the en suite bathroom and carpets throughout and some building work moving a wall to put in some wardrobes.

we paid the similar amount into a joint account for food and household things will

he will benefit by paying 50% less on the bills. You should have some say as it your home to build as well you are not a lodger.

I think you should set up a joint account and both pay in a set % of what you earn. Enough to cover all bills (including service charges) and food shop.

I’d be really uncomfortable asking a partner I was invested enough to live with to pay rent to me when I had no mortgage to pay. That makes him your landlord and you his shaggable lodger, not partner.

i think 50/50 on costs (bills, food, service charge) is entirely appropriate but you’re not there for him to profit from you. Id stay put if he insists on rent or demand a lease and a room of your own.

Bills proportional to your wages, including the service charge. If you are moving in together then you should be considering you futures together and feel yourselves a partnership and not housemates.

What happens when the washer breaks, wear and tear, you smash a plate, new carpets etc

are you expecting him to pay for all this as it belongs to him? You should pay him a proportion of 'keep' rather than just paying for your share of the bills. I even used to pay my mum keep 20 years ago

I'd say split rhe bills fairly, aside from the residents' service charge, which is his bill to pay. What 'fairly' means is for you both to decide. Buildings insurance is his responsibility, contents insurance is up for discussion, though I'd probably just split that with the other bills. No rent should be paid to him.

Is your current residence rented or bought? If you own it, is it mortgaged?

My dd’s partner rents with her partner. He will be buying a house with a mortgage which he’ll be paying. She will pay her share of household bills but not rent.

Nothing. Pay something towards the bills every 3 months and some food. Let him be appreciative that it is a privilege having a female at home and enjoy her and love her, not charge her money

When I had a friend staying, the agreement was splitting bills, plus making up for the loss of single person discount on council tax, but it wasn't a long-term arrangement.

I’m also in the “of course you should pay rent” camp, otherwise you’re taking the piss. I would expect it to be set either at the lower end of half the market rate for his flat, or at a bit below what you’re paying now, whichever is lower.

@Numberwang66 I would probably want you to cover the service charge and 50/50 on bills.

Ideally it would be about splitting the bills according to how much each of you earn but more realistically… Half of all bills including service charge.

I wouldn’t pay rent. He is not paying a mortgage so no need for him to make a business out of moving his girlfriend in.

Be very careful. You don’t want to find yourself in a situation where, before you know it, 10 years have gone by, you have no savings/property, and then the relationship breaks down - leaving you with nothing.

If there is no mortgage, nobody should be paying rent regardless of sex. 50/50 on bills, yes.

Unless he is kicking out a flatmate to move you in, I don’t think you should be contributing rent. His ground rent is a cost of ownership of a capital asset, which he could realise in time. You’d be throwing money at nothing but his personal savings account.

If you move in with him in this situation, I would think you should contribute half if you have a similar income (or higher) income than DP of all costs of living in the property, but as there isn't a mortgage, not that.

Are you paying rent where you live now? Would continuing to live where you do now, or renting somewhere else, be an option?

You've talked about having a conversation about "rent" as well as shared costs. Perhaps you also need to think/talk further about why you want to live together and what you both expect?

You don't mention whether there are any children, including ones from previous relationships. I'm not assuming there are any, but just mentioning it.

Shared costs would include if there is work needed.

Have you talked about savings?

Joint, shared savings if there is something you're doing jointly that you need to save up for

But also your own savings in your name - you might contribute from this to your share of something that comes up that you don't have joint savings for, but also, if you lose your job.

Whatever you decide initially, I would schedule a check in (add it to your calendars) for three months after you move in to sit down and discuss what is working and anything that needs to change - both financially and in terms of chores etc.

I think it's important to look at all contributions, not just financial. How will it work with cooking, housework, driving, holidays etc?

Maybe start taking about the household care stuff first.