He introduced me as his friend..

[anotherpunprick]

Seeing one another for the past two and half months.
Hes eager, consistent, reliable, plans great dates, actions match words and just absolutely lovely to be in his company.
we are exclusive but never had the ‘what are we’ character both mid fifties, divorced etc.
We bumped into his cousin and he introduced me as his friend. I wa snot impressed and said to him later on. He agreed and said he panicked in the heat of the moment and didn’t know he onto introduce me. This man is Mr Sociable and outgoing so I was a bit 🥴. I tend to suggested he just introduce me as ‘anotherpunprick’ ie my name to which he agreed and apologised profusely .
Is it not time to perhaps label what we are andnhowndontoubpavepmamcouple in their duties who are only seeing each other over two months?
Was this awful to you / a dealbreaker?
His actions scream interest and investment in us for now and at least in the near future .
thanks

Was this awful to you / a dealbreaker?

No, I wouldn't give it a second thought.

Was this awful to you/a dealbreaker? No. You've only been seeing each other a few weeks. His cousin probably thought you were a newish girlfriend, which you are.

Well, you are a friend, so what did you want him to say?

Why on earth would it be a deal breaker? Your OTT reaction to this may be for him though. Chill out, you’ve not labelled your relationship and he panicked, and it’s only been 2 months! You’ve made him squirm enough over this none event already

Sounds like you are more involved in this than he is, so your reaction is understandable.

perhaps a good time to have the “what are we” convo

Isn't it more likely that he didn't want to get ahead of himself by labelling the two of you as more than you think you are, than that he didn't want to declare himself to his cousin?

With kindness, you are mad. He panicked and apologised. Of course this is not a dealbreaker. Are you looking for a reason to end the relationship?

Not the point of the thread I know but I'm really trying to work out what -andnhowndontoubpavepmamcouple in their duties - was meant to say

Good grief, you really need to calm down. You've barely been seeing each other five minutes and he was mildly awkward introducing you. So what?! This is a non-issue at this stage.

If you're insecure, have a conversation with him about whether you consider each other to be boyfriend/girlfriend or partners or whatever you want to call it. But don't get in a flap about someone you don't even know that well at this stage being unsure of how you'd like to be introduced to someone. It's really not a big deal.

Calm down! You've only been seeing him a few weeks and want to have a label on your relationship already. You are friends, seems an accurate label for two people in the getting to know each other stage.

Since you two have only known each a short time, as another poster said, for all he knew, you might've been annoyed if he'd called you his gf. It's definitely not a dealbreaker.

I know you were irritated, but it probably would've been better if, in private, you joked a bit instead and said something like, "If I'm just your friend, those make-out sessions are gonna have to stop." That would've gotten the point across without making things more heated.

Geez it’s been 8 weeks.. calm down dear .

Better than partner or F*ckbuddy surely

10/11 weeks.

Does that make a difference to OPs question?

If the situation was switched how would you have introduced him? As you say probably by just saying his name, but he sounds like he didn’t want to say “oh this is x, she’s my…well not my GF cos we’ve only been seeing each other for a couple of months, so don’t know where it’s going, but is really good so far so who knows” all kinds of awkward. So opted for the safer & easier option of “friend”. Which is perfectly reasonable imo.

Does your post make a difference to OPs question?

It’s hard to know what we are other than equally interested, if our effort and consistency are to be the parameters for that. It seems mutual to me but I was a bit put out for sure to be called a friend. I’ve been too sensitive maybe

My friend has been seeing someone for more than a year, both mid fifties. She always introduces/refers to him as ‘my friend’.

So your answer is no then.

I genuinely cant see why this is any kind of an issue. If he had called you my friend Sarah (or whatever your name is), would that have been okay? Is it that he didn’t use your name or the friend bit?

He could hardly introduce you as his girlfriend when you’ve only just started seeing each other and you haven’t yet had a conversation about it. That would be both presumptuous and weird!

Dealbreaker? Just because he called you a friend? Gosh, that's ridiculous. I would get nervous too if I saw a family member and had to introduce a new partner. It's surely awkward in the first few situations when you haven't given much thought on how to refer to each other. You should apologise to him for overreacting.

You say that for two and a half months he has been "eager, consistent, reliable, plans great dates, actions match words". Are you seriously saying you would consider a split-second verbal fumble to be a dealbreaker which cancels out all of that? Come on.

You’re overthinking it. At this stage how you treat each other and how you feel about each other is much more important than ‘labelling’ things for the wider world. It’s early days.

I get it. But try not to overthink. Just go with the flow and see what happens. I’m also in my 50s and recently reconnected with my first love from many years ago. We were away together for a few days (long story but trying to figure out what on earth we are doing) and strangers kept referring to me as his wife. I just ignored it. At one point he finally said “she’s not my wife” (which then niggled me for no real reason other than insecurity) so I laughed and said “yeah, he can’t afford me”. (He can absolutely afford me, he was paying for everything). Just try to keep it light for the moment.

Are you in a relationship? If so, he should introduce you as his girlfriend/significant other/ whatever term you think is best. It sounds as though you think he is ashamed to call you his girlfriend, and if that’s the case further discussion is needed