He introduced me as his friend..

[anotherpunprick]

Seeing one another for the past two and half months.
Hes eager, consistent, reliable, plans great dates, actions match words and just absolutely lovely to be in his company.
we are exclusive but never had the ‘what are we’ character both mid fifties, divorced etc.
We bumped into his cousin and he introduced me as his friend. I wa snot impressed and said to him later on. He agreed and said he panicked in the heat of the moment and didn’t know he onto introduce me. This man is Mr Sociable and outgoing so I was a bit 🥴. I tend to suggested he just introduce me as ‘anotherpunprick’ ie my name to which he agreed and apologised profusely .
Is it not time to perhaps label what we are andnhowndontoubpavepmamcouple in their duties who are only seeing each other over two months?
Was this awful to you / a dealbreaker?
His actions scream interest and investment in us for now and at least in the near future .
thanks

10 weeks is 125 % of 8 weeks.

You think? 🙄🤣

You seem smug. Please try not to be. This is new for me.

I'd say my BF is definitely a BF. We've exclusive and committed, been together a long time, but don't live together and aren't working towards that.

I cannot say the word boyfriend out loud at my age though, and partner seems triggering for some people if you use it for something they consider less than a partner. So I don't know what words I'd have used in his situation.

So? The question was does it make a difference, like is your opinion of OPs situation different at 10/11 weeks than it would have been at 8 weeks. Nobody cares about the maths.

I don’t know what else I’d have expected him to say after only 2 months really even if interested?

It says in the OP they haven’t discussed if they’re in a relationship or not yet as it’s too soon for that.

It could easily of been a deal breaker if he'd said this is my girlfriend. How the hell is he supposed to know what you are without the conversation. Surely you are friends at the moment. He could of just said your name. Jeez you sound hard work. Good luck to him.

Me too!! 🤣 I've read it twenty times and still can't work it out

Labelling someone as a boyfriend or a girlfriend when you are both middle aged is a bit icky. He was probably trying to not introduce you as his girlfriend. And you are his friend, so stop over thinking.

I think it's partly what word to use especially at your age. Girlfriend sounds too juvenile. Partner is too long term at this early stage. What would you have liked him to say ?

Tricky to get this exactly right at this stage of things - girlfriend, partner, fuck buddy, future wife?? It's a minefield for the poor fella especially given as it hasn't been discussed yet. Friend was the easiest and most vague option he had in the moment. I certainly wouldn't be getting upset about it.

Oh the irony of using the ghastly term ‘icky’.

Oh, I would have been o.k. with that.

Better to be introduced as a friend than have the whole extended family gossiping about me.

Before you know it you'll be invited for "inspection" before you're ready.

Chill out OP.

I'm happy for you finding a good guy you click with.
Enjoy.

You barely know each other

Now DH and I had been together a few weeks when I went along with him to buy a new car - when he was going through the finance questions the salesman asked him what his relationship status was and he looked at me in a bit of panic - had to gently explain to him I had no objection to him putting “single” for the purposes of the finance agreement! OP, you’ve only been dating a few weeks, next time perhaps he could say “this is Mary,” rather than “my friend,” but I wouldn’t get het up about it!

It's not a deal breaker, it's a conversation.

I would hate that too and I don't think I'm unduly sensitive. I would feel like he was embarrassed to have me as his girlfriend/date. Introducing you by your name would be absolutely fine. Cousin can draw an inference (or not) or ask how you know each other.

I once had a boyfriend who never introduced me (at all) to people he knew if he bumped into them when we were out. It was so rude and awkward. The other person would politely glance over to me, as if expecting an introduction, but BF would act like I wasn't there and sometimes even stood in front of me as if he hoped I would disappear. He always denied it afterwards and said he "just forgot" to introduce me or they "were busy talking so it wasn't appropriate". One time I thought I've had enough of this and stuck my hand out with a warm smile and said " Hi, I'm X". He seemed annoyed about that but couldn't explain why. I don't have two heads or anything. Anyway got fed up with him and found someone else. Ha.

I'd been seeing my exDH for more than six months when we met up with his best mate from university and he introduced me. He forgot my name...

Everyone was hugely embarrassed and for a few seconds, I wanted to walk away. I didn't, we got over it and were together for 13 years. Nervousness can do this to people.

What should he have introduced you as? You are recent friends, maybe he thought saying "girlfriend" was presumptious.

🙂

My boyfriend took me to meet his brother and wife and when I arrived they were surprised to see me as he had told them he was bringing a mate to meet them! They had been expecting another male friend. We married shortly afterwards and are still married 55 years later, so I guess he ended up marrying his mate! Seriously if I was you I certainly wouldn’t be wasting my time getting upset about something so trivial. Just enjoy your time together. As the saying goes ‘life Is too short to sweat the small stuff”

Not necessarily a deal breaker but its odd that he "panicked". What was there to panic about?

I tend to agree with other posters that on the face of it its not an issue,with the caveat that if you have any other concerns or suspicions that he may not be being honest about his circumstances. A friend of mine recently had a similar experience ,seeing a man for a few months, randomly met someone he knew when out on a date and he introduced her as a friend. She then did some due dilligence online and he was actually married...
So, probably nothing but if your gut is saying something to you ,do some research.

In my experience when you’re a grown up “friend” is code for dating /shagging but it’s early days.
An actual friend is usually introduced as this is my friend Sarah, with a qualification to make sure that people don’t assume you are dating /shagging we’re in a book club together, we’re old work colleagues, we’ve known each other since our school days or something similar.