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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Let me tell you what an absolute twat he is, and share your own tales of twattery

85 replies

Changingplace · 10/05/2026 16:20

’D’H admitted an affair last year, I was in a bad financial spot at the time, didn’t have a permanent job and basically stuck, for that and various stupid reasons I decided I had to stay put and ended up giving him a second chance.

Had an inkling he was in touch with her again, when you know you know, and am now in new job so I’d been reassessing in general anyway but hadn’t said anything outright.

Yesterday I was out for the afternoon- got a ring notification and when I looked it was like something was across it, kinda obscuring the view…

This ‘something’ then blew away.

And I see, with my own eyes a woman walking out of my house?!!

Screen recorded it all, assuming the twat would quickly realise his plan had failed, but he didn’t even realise, loser.

When I got home a dishcloth was on the floor under the ring bell 🙄

Told him what I’d seen, he tried for a microsecond to deny it but I told him I have it all on screen record & I’m getting the house valued this week.

I’m so over him and his twattery, she’s welcome to him, good luck to her, she’s going to need it.

Onwards and upwards, what tales of twattery would anyone else like to share?

OP posts:
Fullofcorn · 10/05/2026 16:23

Have you managed to get a job yet?

OnceUponATimed · 10/05/2026 16:25

Im sorry. What a twat.

Fullofcorn · 10/05/2026 16:26

Are you going to have to live together until property sold? Any kids?

WonsWoo · 10/05/2026 16:27

I’m sorry. He is a twat and you deserve better. Good luck 💐

Iamstardust · 10/05/2026 16:29

Honestly I think it might have been better to keep your powder dry while you get things lined up for the divorce. Now he know's the writing is on the wall he can start working things to his advantage.
I do of course understand the impulse to confront him, but revenge is best served cold.

Hatty65 · 10/05/2026 16:29

He's not only a twat but he obviously thinks you are a complete fool. How disrepectful to invite the woman into your home! He could at least have picked a hotel for his seedy little affair.

You sound great.

DalmationalAnthem · 10/05/2026 16:32

Iamstardust · 10/05/2026 16:29

Honestly I think it might have been better to keep your powder dry while you get things lined up for the divorce. Now he know's the writing is on the wall he can start working things to his advantage.
I do of course understand the impulse to confront him, but revenge is best served cold.

Working what to his advantage? Divorces are non fault and assets split pretty much 50/50.

twohotwaterbottles · 10/05/2026 16:32

He's a twat. You deserve better. My story of twattery was being married to a bloke who was incredibly financially controlling to a ridiculous level (even though I earned the same as him). When I finally called it a day it transpired he had over £30k in a secret bank account. I actually think there was more but couldn't prove it. Grade A twattery behaviour. Note now my ex thank goodness

RoseField1 · 10/05/2026 16:33

Iamstardust · 10/05/2026 16:29

Honestly I think it might have been better to keep your powder dry while you get things lined up for the divorce. Now he know's the writing is on the wall he can start working things to his advantage.
I do of course understand the impulse to confront him, but revenge is best served cold.

This is easy to say but in someone's real life can you imagine how difficult and soul destroying it would be to live with your husband and pretend nothing is wrong whilst planning on divorce? Apart from in cases of severe DV, this kind of subterfuge is not realistic.

HelloCheekyCat · 10/05/2026 16:50

Iamstardust · 10/05/2026 16:29

Honestly I think it might have been better to keep your powder dry while you get things lined up for the divorce. Now he know's the writing is on the wall he can start working things to his advantage.
I do of course understand the impulse to confront him, but revenge is best served cold.

She can't exactly out the house on the market without telling him...

Galaxylights · 10/05/2026 16:54

Fullofcorn · 10/05/2026 16:23

Have you managed to get a job yet?

Op says has new job.

BerryTwister · 10/05/2026 16:59

Fullofcorn · 10/05/2026 16:23

Have you managed to get a job yet?

@Fullofcorn second paragraph

Changingplace · 10/05/2026 17:08

Fullofcorn · 10/05/2026 16:23

Have you managed to get a job yet?

Yes I have a new job :)

OP posts:
Changingplace · 10/05/2026 17:11

HelloCheekyCat · 10/05/2026 16:50

She can't exactly out the house on the market without telling him...

Exactly! What else is there to do? I’ll get the divorce moving this week, I’d spoken to a solicitor originally so it’s basically ready to go and I’ll get some valuations on the house.

I’ve already got everything in place I need, I was just a bit stuck job wise but that’s not an issue now.

Oh and no kids, so that’s not something I need to consider.

OP posts:
Doggymummar · 10/05/2026 17:13

My twat drank away his redundancy money, 35k. 18k his mum gave us for IVF which I didn't know about and remortgaged our house for £110k fraudulently. He was also banging the barmaid at the local.

Changingplace · 10/05/2026 17:13

twohotwaterbottles · 10/05/2026 16:32

He's a twat. You deserve better. My story of twattery was being married to a bloke who was incredibly financially controlling to a ridiculous level (even though I earned the same as him). When I finally called it a day it transpired he had over £30k in a secret bank account. I actually think there was more but couldn't prove it. Grade A twattery behaviour. Note now my ex thank goodness

Glad he’s your ex and you’ve moved on with your life, good for you.

OP posts:
pinkpie · 10/05/2026 17:14

Fullofcorn · 10/05/2026 16:23

Have you managed to get a job yet?

She says she has in her OP

Changingplace · 10/05/2026 17:14

Doggymummar · 10/05/2026 17:13

My twat drank away his redundancy money, 35k. 18k his mum gave us for IVF which I didn't know about and remortgaged our house for £110k fraudulently. He was also banging the barmaid at the local.

What a twat.

Oh he’s also blown £35k from his parents on fuck all that we could’ve done our house up with and did the same with a redundancy pay out once rather than bank it and look for a new job straight away.

OP posts:
Changingplace · 10/05/2026 17:17

Hatty65 · 10/05/2026 16:29

He's not only a twat but he obviously thinks you are a complete fool. How disrepectful to invite the woman into your home! He could at least have picked a hotel for his seedy little affair.

You sound great.

I honestly think he just thinks I’m thick as shit, I can see straight through his crap it’s actually so ridiculous.

OP posts:
Fullofcorn · 10/05/2026 17:18

Changingplace · 10/05/2026 17:08

Yes I have a new job :)

Brilliant! Have you been quietly putting plans in place?

Fullofcorn · 10/05/2026 17:19

How long have you been married? Decent equity in the house?

Changingplace · 10/05/2026 17:20

Fullofcorn · 10/05/2026 16:26

Are you going to have to live together until property sold? Any kids?

No kids, I spoke to the mortgage company originally and they said once the house is on the market we could drop the payments to interest only until it’s sold.

That will free up some money so either he can move out & rent or I will.

It would be better if he did obviously, plus he’ll never keep the place clean and tidy for viewings so I don’t trust him to be here alone while we’re trying to sell.

OP posts:
Fullofcorn · 10/05/2026 17:20

And the two of you living together now? Who’s taking the spare room?!

Changingplace · 10/05/2026 17:21

Fullofcorn · 10/05/2026 17:19

How long have you been married? Decent equity in the house?

Twelve years, and yes decent equity, 50/50 each I’ll walk away with around £100k so I’ll be fine :)

OP posts:
Changingplace · 10/05/2026 17:22

Fullofcorn · 10/05/2026 17:20

And the two of you living together now? Who’s taking the spare room?!

This literally happened yesterday, I slept in the spare room last night, considering what’s gone on I’d rather not be in the main room tbh, ugh.

OP posts: