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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Let me tell you what an absolute twat he is, and share your own tales of twattery

85 replies

Changingplace · 10/05/2026 16:20

’D’H admitted an affair last year, I was in a bad financial spot at the time, didn’t have a permanent job and basically stuck, for that and various stupid reasons I decided I had to stay put and ended up giving him a second chance.

Had an inkling he was in touch with her again, when you know you know, and am now in new job so I’d been reassessing in general anyway but hadn’t said anything outright.

Yesterday I was out for the afternoon- got a ring notification and when I looked it was like something was across it, kinda obscuring the view…

This ‘something’ then blew away.

And I see, with my own eyes a woman walking out of my house?!!

Screen recorded it all, assuming the twat would quickly realise his plan had failed, but he didn’t even realise, loser.

When I got home a dishcloth was on the floor under the ring bell 🙄

Told him what I’d seen, he tried for a microsecond to deny it but I told him I have it all on screen record & I’m getting the house valued this week.

I’m so over him and his twattery, she’s welcome to him, good luck to her, she’s going to need it.

Onwards and upwards, what tales of twattery would anyone else like to share?

OP posts:
Changingplace · 10/05/2026 17:23

Fullofcorn · 10/05/2026 17:18

Brilliant! Have you been quietly putting plans in place?

Yeah I spoke to a divorce solicitor and the mortgage company originally, I was just stupidly stuck job wise but I’ve literally got all the info sorted already, he hasn’t got a clue.

OP posts:
Fullofcorn · 10/05/2026 17:26

Ha! Good on you!! Is he fighting for you or just wandering around nonchantly?

Jamesblonde2 · 10/05/2026 17:29

Dishcloth? He’s pathetic. Good choice to bin him OP.

Changingplace · 10/05/2026 17:31

Jamesblonde2 · 10/05/2026 17:29

Dishcloth? He’s pathetic. Good choice to bin him OP.

It’s still on the floor outside, I took a photo :)

Surprised he even knew where to find one!

OP posts:
Changingplace · 10/05/2026 17:33

Fullofcorn · 10/05/2026 17:26

Ha! Good on you!! Is he fighting for you or just wandering around nonchantly?

He’s barely left the bedroom all day or said more than two words, he knows he’s got nowhere to go on this, he’s 100% caught out, I’m leaving him to squirm knowing I know, I hope he feels sick.

OP posts:
Fullofcorn · 10/05/2026 17:40

You are doing so well. Don’t you hide away in your room. Roam around the house like it’s yours

Are you in any debt? Could he be?

Changingplace · 10/05/2026 17:53

Fullofcorn · 10/05/2026 17:40

You are doing so well. Don’t you hide away in your room. Roam around the house like it’s yours

Are you in any debt? Could he be?

Oh don’t you worry, I’m on the sofa in the livingroom with control of the remote & the dogs keeping me company.

I have a little debt, but there’s decent equity in the house, I’ve done the maths already and I reckon I’ll actually be better off.

We’re in quite a nice area where his family live that I was never that bothered about moving too, but it means property round here sells quickly despite it being expensive and where I’d happily move to is actually cheaper.

He might have some debt, that’s his issue, the equity will be 50/50, he’ll likely piss it all away and have nothing to show for it anyway.

OP posts:
Fullofcorn · 10/05/2026 18:13

Changingplace · 10/05/2026 17:53

Oh don’t you worry, I’m on the sofa in the livingroom with control of the remote & the dogs keeping me company.

I have a little debt, but there’s decent equity in the house, I’ve done the maths already and I reckon I’ll actually be better off.

We’re in quite a nice area where his family live that I was never that bothered about moving too, but it means property round here sells quickly despite it being expensive and where I’d happily move to is actually cheaper.

He might have some debt, that’s his issue, the equity will be 50/50, he’ll likely piss it all away and have nothing to show for it anyway.

Edited

Sadly it’s not necessarily just his issue of he has debts

Changingplace · 10/05/2026 19:09

Fullofcorn · 10/05/2026 18:13

Sadly it’s not necessarily just his issue of he has debts

You mean because it’ll come off the equity in the house?

OP posts:
Fullofcorn · 10/05/2026 19:11

Changingplace · 10/05/2026 19:09

You mean because it’ll come off the equity in the house?

Edited

Debts are generally shared in a divorce of accrued during the marriage

10namechangeslater · 10/05/2026 19:56

His debts will come out of his equity OP. Don’t worry about that. Been there and done it.

10namechangeslater · 10/05/2026 19:58

Tell him he needs to leave. What an absolute bastard I’m so sorry. Long term though you’ll be far better off without this complete bellend in your life.

Fullofcorn · 10/05/2026 20:14

10namechangeslater · 10/05/2026 19:56

His debts will come out of his equity OP. Don’t worry about that. Been there and done it.

Not necessarily

LeftBoobGoneRogue · 10/05/2026 20:22

Fullofcorn · 10/05/2026 16:23

Have you managed to get a job yet?

Yes she has. She said so in the OP.

Doggymummar · 10/05/2026 20:30

Fullofcorn · 10/05/2026 20:14

Not necessarily

I had to pay 110k my husband had in debt. Took me ten years on a DMP nut I cleared it, we were jointly liable

socks1107 · 10/05/2026 20:34

Mine wanted to take our kids to the park whilst I was at work, a park two hours away by bus ( he didn’t drive) so I checked phone. Meeting a woman with our tiny children in tow. I took the pushchair to work and left him two months later.

Fullofcorn · 10/05/2026 20:35

Doggymummar · 10/05/2026 20:30

I had to pay 110k my husband had in debt. Took me ten years on a DMP nut I cleared it, we were jointly liable

Exactly

Dollymylove · 10/05/2026 20:37

My ex pissed most of his earning up the wall. I was at home with 2 toddlers.
No family support nearby and no free child care back then so I wasnt earning.
Found out he was shagging a younger woman from work. I packed his stuff and threw it out. He just drove up, picked up his stuff and drove off again.
Threatened to burn the house down.
Never paid child support. Never saw his kids.
30 years on he now has a degenerative disease.
Oh what a shame 😆

Laurmolonlabe · 10/05/2026 20:40

It's bad enough he cheated then cheated again- but always ditch those who break the 11th commanment without a second thought.

researchers3 · 10/05/2026 20:41

Fullofcorn · 10/05/2026 16:23

Have you managed to get a job yet?

Have you managed to obtain any comprehension skills?

BernardButlersBra · 10/05/2026 20:42

Dollymylove · 10/05/2026 20:37

My ex pissed most of his earning up the wall. I was at home with 2 toddlers.
No family support nearby and no free child care back then so I wasnt earning.
Found out he was shagging a younger woman from work. I packed his stuff and threw it out. He just drove up, picked up his stuff and drove off again.
Threatened to burn the house down.
Never paid child support. Never saw his kids.
30 years on he now has a degenerative disease.
Oh what a shame 😆

When did the free childcare start?!

Karma is a beautiful thing. Similar thing happened to a work colleagues husband, after he lost he gambled the house and left her homeless with 5 children. 2 of them were from his previous marriage

researchers3 · 10/05/2026 20:45

Changingplace · 10/05/2026 16:20

’D’H admitted an affair last year, I was in a bad financial spot at the time, didn’t have a permanent job and basically stuck, for that and various stupid reasons I decided I had to stay put and ended up giving him a second chance.

Had an inkling he was in touch with her again, when you know you know, and am now in new job so I’d been reassessing in general anyway but hadn’t said anything outright.

Yesterday I was out for the afternoon- got a ring notification and when I looked it was like something was across it, kinda obscuring the view…

This ‘something’ then blew away.

And I see, with my own eyes a woman walking out of my house?!!

Screen recorded it all, assuming the twat would quickly realise his plan had failed, but he didn’t even realise, loser.

When I got home a dishcloth was on the floor under the ring bell 🙄

Told him what I’d seen, he tried for a microsecond to deny it but I told him I have it all on screen record & I’m getting the house valued this week.

I’m so over him and his twattery, she’s welcome to him, good luck to her, she’s going to need it.

Onwards and upwards, what tales of twattery would anyone else like to share?

Wow. What a twat. You're well rid and I'm glad you realise it. What a brazen piece of shit.

My ex is also a massive twat. Too identifying for specifics but has done some truly awful things over the years.

Hope you're ok OP.

Changingplace · 10/05/2026 20:57

socks1107 · 10/05/2026 20:34

Mine wanted to take our kids to the park whilst I was at work, a park two hours away by bus ( he didn’t drive) so I checked phone. Meeting a woman with our tiny children in tow. I took the pushchair to work and left him two months later.

Wow what an arse, glad you’ve left him.

What is actually wrong with these men? The behaviour is unhinged.

OP posts:
Dollymylove · 10/05/2026 21:12

BernardButlersBra · 10/05/2026 20:42

When did the free childcare start?!

Karma is a beautiful thing. Similar thing happened to a work colleagues husband, after he lost he gambled the house and left her homeless with 5 children. 2 of them were from his previous marriage

I dont know exactly when free chuld care hours started but it wasnt in place in the early 90s

Sunisgettinganewhaton · 10/05/2026 21:53

Mine lied about how much wages he was getting.. For a year. Spent it on golf and lunches out with the lads while I borrowed to pay bills. Saw a bank statement by chance then him online banking on the laptop..
That was a Sunday evening..
I went to work Monday and text him to be gone before I got home. Filed for divorce that afternoon.. No kids. Rental property.. No assets.
And I kept the ddog..
Hope you keep yours op. Not seem him since that Sunday in 2012!