Let me tell you what an absolute twat he is, and share your own tales of twattery

[Changingplace]

’D’H admitted an affair last year, I was in a bad financial spot at the time, didn’t have a permanent job and basically stuck, for that and various stupid reasons I decided I had to stay put and ended up giving him a second chance.

Had an inkling he was in touch with her again, when you know you know, and am now in new job so I’d been reassessing in general anyway but hadn’t said anything outright.

Yesterday I was out for the afternoon- got a ring notification and when I looked it was like something was across it, kinda obscuring the view…

This ‘something’ then blew away.

And I see, with my own eyes a woman walking out of my house?!!

Screen recorded it all, assuming the twat would quickly realise his plan had failed, but he didn’t even realise, loser.

When I got home a dishcloth was on the floor under the ring bell 🙄

Told him what I’d seen, he tried for a microsecond to deny it but I told him I have it all on screen record & I’m getting the house valued this week.

I’m so over him and his twattery, she’s welcome to him, good luck to her, she’s going to need it.

Onwards and upwards, what tales of twattery would anyone else like to share?

Use today to find out if he has any debt. From what you have said, high chance he does. Although yours might be more, so could work itself out ok

Well done. You go live a better life xx

An ex fucked his new squeeze in our bed

and didn’t change the sheets so I noticed when I tried to get in…. 🤮🤮🤮

I'm so sorry you are going through this.

My "d"h is a gambler. I should've walked away at the very beginning, but I seem to always go for the fixer upper!
He's a lazy twat. I finally had the chance to go full time after retraining 3 years ago (always worked, but part time after having my first, mainly due to the cost of childcare!). He took the opportunity to leave his managerial job to work 3 days in a shop. Too bloody lazy to do any housework though, so I have to do it all around work and 4 kids.
Recently it emerged he wants a 1950s traditional wife! I'm definitely not that! I work, I'm messy, I do all the DIY and "mens jobs". And guess what? He doesn't want to be the traditional husband to go along with the traditional wife!
I'm currently trying to dot the i's and cross the t's so I can remove him from the scenario. I'm fed up with babysitting my mother-in-law's kid!

good riddance !!!!

@OMGafourth please do get rid!

OP, get a credit report and then email the credit company and ask for all his sole debts to be removed from your credit report as they are not your debts and you are divorcing

Why do we even bother with relationships at all? Most men are bastards. Sorry. Not sorry.

I have many tales of twattery from my ex, but this one is up there because it completely broke my heart.

Ex was (is) an alcoholic. Our DD was born in 2021, and he didn't cope well becoming a father, so his drinking increased. After many arguments, conversations, "incidents", me crying etc. etc. he agreed to go to meetings and managed six months of sobriety (at least I thought he was sober, but it was the best six months as a family we'd had and I thought we were finally on a road to a better life together).

He works night shifts so one weekend he said he didn't feel like going to bed yet (normal) and I went to bed. At the time I listened to audiobooks on my phone to help me get to sleep, so my phone was half under my pillow.

In the middle of the night, he marches into the bedroom and snatches my phone from under the pillow. I was a bit like WTF, so I gave it a few mins and then got out of bed to say "Er, is everything OK??". He says no then he accuses me of meddling with his phone. I am incredibly confused, and it transpires after much cryptic accusatory language that he was trying to access porn on his phone and it was being blocked.

We have linked google accounts so he could see my e-mail on his phone settings and concluded I'd blocked porn on his phone. I hadn't so of course I was adamant about not having done it, but he was CONVINCED. The argument got heated so we went outside to not wake DD and as he stepped outside, I could smell really strong alcohol on his breath. I completely flipped - my whole world turned upside down in that moment because the sober him was a lie, he had woken me up (I did all night wakings with DD because I breastfed her), all because he wanted to watch fucking porn on his phone and couldn't. I flipped and he LAUGHED at me. He fucking laughed at me as my world shattered.

Cherry on the top was in the morning he realised that he forgot to turn his phone to data only, as our wifi router blocked porn. So yeah it wasn't me after all.

It was the final nail in the coffin, I was heartbroken, disgusted and I new he was willing to throw that beautiful, beautiful six months we had away just for whiskey, and laugh at me for being so upset.

I'm so glad I left! Single parenthood is hard, but living with someone like that was like walking around with an anchor chained to your neck.

Mine gaslit me all the way through marriage counselling, said I was a poor communicator, I was too sensitive, I was always in a bad mood, I never paid him enough attention, I was always working instead of looking after him and I sat there like a muppet taking it all in trying to explain myself and reason with him. He never took any accountability for anything but changed his mind repeatedly about whether he wanted to make the marriage last or not. Asked him directly if he was seeing anyone else he said no. Anyway time rolls on and he starts the financial disclosure of the divorce process so get to see his bank account. Turns out, as mumsnet said, there not only was another woman, but he had bought her an expensive engagement ring while we were in marriage counselling. What an utter cunt.

Currently reading a book called if only I’d known all about narcissistic relationships and hoping karma gets the pair of them sooner rather than later. They deserve each other the lying pair of twats.

Hmmmm I’ve successfully managed to blank out most of the best examples from my brain but will try and dredge my memory:

1. A stellar example was telling me he hadn’t heard from this woman in years and no longer had her number when I’d just seen chit chat messages between them that he’d left open on my computer!
2. Pretending he was at home in bed when I rang him (whilst I was away at DDs dance competition). Whereas in fact I was watching him on DDs ‘find my’ moving in a cab returning late from a restaurant.

Your dishcloth and door cam is fairly prize winning though!

ExH tried desperately hard to have me agree to try again after we separated, he was heartbroken, missing me, lonely etc …I had the log in to his accounts package and could see all the places he was ‘entertaining’ within weeks of our break up … after one particularly sad message I went to a concert …and he walked in with a date 😂

What was the dishcloth for?

Covering the Ring camera, so the other woman couldn't be seen. But it fell off.

How are you doing @Changingplace ?

It takes a certain kind of bastard to invite his affair partner into his own home while his wife is out OP. I must say I'm not very impressed with her either.

Some absolutely horrendous experiences by the pp on this thread. Support and best wishes to you all. Onwards and upwards: you are well rid of these disgusting men.

It’s the type of person who got away with it last time he was found to be a cheat so now he’s complacent

I think you are right about his attitude stemming from his feeling of having " got away with it" previously.

It sounds as though he totally lost any residual respect he had for OP when she didn't end the the relationship the first time.

And that in itself shows what amoral low life he is.

How the other woman could be complicit in this beggars belief when he is clearly demonstrating the type of man he is and how he will have no compunction in treating her like a fool when it suits him.

Oh he’s probably told her the the OP is unhinged and he can’t leave her because she’s top herself or similar

She is going into the home he, a married man, shares with his wife.
And she knows OP's H is trying to keep this from OP because otherwise he wouldn't be trying to hide her arrival from the door cam footage.

I really don't think you can put a good spin on her behaviour

Yes he is the one who is betraying his wife. But she is enabling his disrespect of OP and OP's home.

I don’t put any spin on her behaviour. She isn’t the cheater. He is.

Of course he is the cheater. As I've said in my posts.
But you seem very intent on excusing the OW from any moral responsibility for her behaviour when she sneaked into the marital home of her affair partner.

Unless he had the 'decency' to use the spare room with the OW !

split from cheating partner and he kept ringing pleading to give him another chance. Rang one evening but didn't hang up properly and left the line open. Then I heard the landline ringing which he answered and had a lovely chat with the OW. It's give me a funny tale to tell because he thought I had his place bugged as I regaled him with his conversation word for word lol

Who knows what he’s told her

“it is over, we sleep in separate beds, but she’s… sick / mentally ill / broke etc etc”