Remember my SIL who said my baby would die...?

[Tinkerisdead]

The one you all said is a toxic poisonous witch and to avoid, avoid, avoid, ignore ignore ignore....

well, she has left a message for my DH saying that she would like to come round at the weekend for a "chat". On the message she is really gushy and upbeat not solomn and apologetic.

Now i assume she is coming round to apologise, but I also know her and I know that she will come to explain why she said what she did.. (me and my baby will die, that DH and I dont love each other, that we only care about money, our hoouse and our wallpaper and that we made our wedding shit for her!)

Now im feeling really trapped, im glad she is coming to my house so im on my own turf, but im 19 weeks pregnant, she gets me riled just on her messages alone. I know shes coming round to give her version. Im not interested in her reasons and i dont want a big discussion but i also dont want to be the one to say all this.

Im feeling really stressed by it, i just want to avoid her but DH wants to hear her out. DH will cave in, he already told her "no problem" at the time and i want him to explain that we accept her apology but her rationale is not wanted or accepted. If DH caves in, then im left to put our point across and i cant face the stress or the inevitable argument...and if i dont, its another case of "oh thats just SIL she always says stuff like this" so i feel like this is our one chance to tell her its not on. I just know its gonna fall to me.

If i wasnt pregnant i'd go beserk at her but when i can feel myself getting angry and upset and my heart racing, i feel sick for the effect on my poor baby in there!

what would you do? I cant say dont come round as then it will get around the in-laws that i refused to build bridges. i feel cornered and bullied by her and if i dont make a stand, its gonna continue....

Message withdrawn

So if you know her chat is to come round and exlain what she did and why she did it - stop her from being able to continue this bizar behaviour stop her in her tracks - now at this stage in the family whilst you are young.

Tell her it is not acceptable behaviour you are not conserned why she did it it must stop now, end of.

Be confident, self assured and lay down the rules for a happy family No more talking about babies going to heaven or stuff of that nature.

Then turn the conversation to the fact her dc will be cousin to your dc and isn't that going to be lovely (smile sickly) and move on move on.

Basicly she has put her size blardy 10's in it and wants to come up smelling sweet - well no not really it you dont let her let her scully away with her tail not heared... She will get the message then.

you are quite right about all that Pruni, BUT - I wouldn't care
anyone who announces my baby is going to die, while I am pg -

~poof~

Thats her, come to my house and observe!!!
It has to be seen to be believed. i will of course let you know what happens...If it doesnt happen tomorrow it'll def be by the end of the week as its DH birthday. She always gives him pictures of herself as presents!

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Actually i feel quite empowered by all the support and encouragement from here so definatly ready to front it out! Good to know that im not being unreasonable and her behaviour is untoward.

It's more than untoward! You definitely both need to put your feet down Agree with dittany but suggest that instead of you walking out, you calmly but firmly put her out. You shouldn't have to leave your own house to get away from her and her weirdness.

Please let us know what happens. My tip is to set aside time in the day to think about every scenario she could possibly present you with and then rehurse in your head how you are going to respond and what you are going to say. BUT make sure the time you allow yourself to do this is limited i.e 'from 5-7pm I am going to think about the SIL situation and after 7pm I am not going to think about it anymore'. I hope this will prevent you from staying awake at night gnashing your teeth about some madwoman who isnt worth your time.

Wishing you luck.

if nothing else she gives pictures of HERSELF as presents FFS -

don't you DARE walk out, show her the farking door and how to use it but only one way as she's no longer welcome

DW, I think it quite important that a) you are there for the meeting and b) that you stay there.

Sounds like she is pathologically jealous of you and your relationship with DH. The wedding behaviour was all about creating negativity, to help prove to her and those around that if the wedding wasn't a good one (all in her mind) then your marriage must be doomed also. Your SIL was also trying to prove her own importance and create a centre-stage role with all the fuss over the baby etc, because it was a way of drawing everyone's (in particular your DH's) attention to her and away from you!

I expect she is outraged that not only is your marriage strong, you are now pg. She may feel your are not only taking her place in DH's affections, you are taking her DC's place in the family as golden GC.

Quite possibly she would have liked a HB herself given the opportunity, but didn't get one, hence "another" thing you have "taken" from her (how very dare you). It's a fact that some people really do believe their own lies.

There really is not a lot you can do about her as it's illogical behaviour. You just have to keep your own focus and enjoy being pg. She is struggling with herself but don't get dragged down with her.