I’m really at my wit’s end, I just don’t know what to do, wondering if anyone can offer advice. My wife and I have been married for over 30 years and she has always been lazy with housework, she never cooks, she only bathes once a week, sometimes only once a fortnight. We have separate bedrooms and she hasn’t changed her bedsheets since Christmas and they are covered in stains. She uses a urine bottle in her bedroom, not because she’s disabled, but because she has one of the cats sleep with her and doesn’t want to open the door to let her out. She hasn’t cleaned the bottle out for weeks and her room stinks of old piss. There are cat vomit and shit stains on her carpet which she doesn’t clean properly. She has always been an untidy person but her lack of hygiene and general lack of caring for herself or anything around the house is really starting to grind me down. We both work, she has just gone back to full time after a year off, during which time she still did nothing. I only work part-time – 5 days a week for 4 hours a day. I do all the cleaning, cooking and house maintenance. She only does anything if I ask her to, and then does it badly or shoddily. I don’t think I’m being unreasonable to have standards, which aren’t particularly high. We own our own very nice detached house and are both reasonably intelligent – just normal people. Can any offer any advice as to how I can get her to contribute more, or at least take better care of herself? I have a heart condition and have been in hospital a few times and I dread coming home sometimes because I know the house will be in a mess when I get home and have to do everything myself. Thank you for reading.