Sister and husband clash

[Frustrated567]

I (F, 40) have been married (M, 41) for 10 years. Over the years, my husband has grown to dislike my sister immensely. She can stir the pot a little, be a little intense and sniggers over things that aren’t really funny, i.e. one of our children misbehaving.
She left her ex husband for another guy and their divorce was quite messy, and she exaggerated how her ex was unsafe and unstable towards her and the children, so he wasn’t allowed to see them much.
Despite all of this, she’s my sister and I see her regularly.
However, my husband is fiercely principled and will not spend any time with her. This is causing a lot of issues between us, and I feel really sad that he can’t just ‘get on with it’ and be in the same room as her a few times a year.
We have recently been invited to a wedding, and her and her partner will be there. My husband is refusing to go, and I feel really let down about it, and struggling to understand why he won’t come for my sake. I have to keep making excuses for him, and it’s left me questioning his love for me, and our marriage.
AIBU?

Another team DH here. Good for him for setting boundaries. Your sister sounds awful. If my sister did what yours did to her ex DH, I would want nothing to do with her. If you insist that you have to have a relationship with her then dont involve your DH and see her on your own.

He is being an idiot about the wedding. It's understandable to not want her in his house or to refuse to go to her house because she does sound awful.

But silly to refuse to attend somewhere just because she will be there. Why can't he go and just not interact with her and her partner?

You don’t keep having to make excuses for him.

Just tell everyone exactly why he won’t spend time in the company of your sister.

If you’re not prepared to do this, should he perhaps be questioning your love for him, and your marriage?

Because she stirs the pot, i.e. would be likely to goad DH into something.

I'm with DH. He's not saying that you can't go he's decided he doesn't want to go, which is perfectly valid. Perhaps he can think of better ways to spend his time than trying to avoid a person he doesn't like at such a small event.

Getting Gia vibes from MAFSAUS

You do not have to give chapter and verse, just say unfortunately my DH is unable to be here today, no more no less.

This… doesn’t that worry you @Frustrated567 that because he’s not going along with the “sis is amazing” schtick, that he and your kids will be the victims of her twisted lies?
if she starts sobbing about him being abusive… you’ll go along with the lies again?
I mean you didnt care about her kids having their dad removed from their lives due to her lies.. you’d obviously go along with the lies again to keep her happy?

This is utterly disgusting. I’m not surprised your DH won’t be near your sister. Can you imagine having limited contact with your kids because your spouse cooked up a situation like this and went off fucking someone else 😱. Not to mention the kids have had their father demonised and their relationship with him damaged. This is so far beyond the pale. I bet if you were assaulted and scared, you’d want to be believed. But because of people like your sister, you might not be.

i can’t believe you bother with her. She’s actually scum.